Britain's youngest trans child

R0 the defiant one came first. I’m surprised we had a second one actually. Although I do have to say, the elder one becoming a big brother was a very good thing for him.

I think the adults are failing her by indulging in this

I feel for the child.

They could have said of course you can like these things and have your hair how you want but you’re still a girl.

LostToucan
Which came first, defiant or compliant child?

I should clarify that - any “gender” conversations at a young age in our house would have led to one being bloody minded and one being compliant, and neither being necessarily truthful.

Schools have their hands tied here. They can only not reassert the parents' beliefs. Once the child has been indoctrinated like this they have to show 'sensitivity' which most schools will interpret as allowing social transitioning.
The DfE guidance at present only stops them actively encouraging gender ideology and stereotypes. Yet they've washed their hands when they need to be firm, leaving teachers unprotected to challenge nutty parents.

LostToucan Its part of child development at that age.

R0 when mine were that age one was oppositional and would argue black was white if they thought that would wind me up, and the other was compliant and would say what they thought I’d want to hear.

LostToucan a conversation which offers a 4 yr old three choices, "do you want to be a boy, a girl or neither/both" will unsurprisingly have such a result.

I recently asked after an acquaintance’s four year old son and was told quite seriously, “ Oh, X has transitioned” and how good his primary school (local, popular state funded) was being about it.

"We've explained to him and his brother what different genders are, [that] non-binary is a thing and you can be that, but he's said 'I'm not a girl, I think I'm a boy'. He's never been a girl.

"There are times, strange enough, when he says he's non-binary, whether his understanding of that is correct, I don't know, but primarily, nine times out of 10, he'll say he's a boy.”

Given that most adults struggle to get their head around non binary, I’m a bit that a 4 yr old can declare they’re non-binary with any actual meaning.

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/dad-trans-boy-4-says-24043638.amp

“Mumoftwoinprimary

I have a “trains” child.

When he was 4 he announced that his name was Thomas (as in Tank Engine) and refused to answer to anything else. He also said “choo choo” and “chugga chugga” a lot.

Should I have had his legs amputated and him fitted with wheels instead?“

😄 exactly this.

He claims he has his own concerns about how the youngster will cope in bathrooms or PE changing rooms

I bet he does.......especially as the child nears puberty.

Worse thing is, most people are really understanding and don’t really care how other people chose to live their lives, but people have many questions surrounding this whole issue, yet are being silenced.

(extract from article)
"When Stormy and Arlo started nursery at around one, the little lad had not started transitioning, but as the years went on and Stormy began to live as a boy full-time, Matthew claims adults struggled to come to terms with the change.

Matthew said: 'We've had problems with adults. He now lives as a boy, goes to nursery as a boy, all his friends know he's a boy.

Although Matthew insists Stormy isn't worried about starting school in September, he claims he has his own concerns about how the youngster will cope in bathrooms or PE changing rooms."

Department of Education statutory guidance (October 2020)

We are aware that topics involving gender and biological sex can be complex and sensitive matters to navigate. You should not reinforce harmful stereotypes, for instance by suggesting that children might be a different gender based on their personality and interests or the clothes they prefer to wear. Resources used in teaching about this topic must always be age-appropriate and evidence based. Materials which suggest that non-conformity to gender stereotypes should be seen as synonymous with having a different gender identity should not be used and you should not work with external agencies or organisations that produce such material. While teachers should not suggest to a child that their non-compliance with gender stereotypes means that either their personality or their body is wrong and in need of changing, teachers should always seek to treat individual students with sympathy and support.

You should work together with parents on any decisions regarding your school’s treatment of their child, in line with the school’s safeguarding policy and the statutory guidance on working together to safeguard children."
www.gov.uk/guidance/plan-your-relationships-sex-and-health-curriculum#using-external-agencies

www.transgendertrend.com/department-for-education-rse-guidance-schools/

Does Department of Education have influence over nursery standards?
It seems wrong that a nursery might risk setting up a young child and parents to have expectations which are in conflict with Primary school's statutory responsibilities.

I’m also wondering if the child has much face to face time with many other children - or if it’s mostly brother and daddy around (COVID and all that). I got the impression that dad was more of the driver here (maybe not but that’s what I read into it).

When the child goes to nursery and mixes with all sorts of other children, with their likes and dislikes and preferences... I went through a phase of wanting to have been adopted (my best friend in nursery was and it sounded rather cool). Mum was bemused (since all us sisters looked very along). ‘Mum- are you sure I wasn’t adopted?’

Such nonsense!

It’s much more socially awkward to gently correct people that your child is a girl who likes “boy” things and that you are cool with that. Even more so for the reverse. No kudos and newspapers splashes and special support groups and pats on the back from progressives for that, believe me - I’ve been there.

Social transition is hugely damaging and confusing for children of this age.

Tv reality show.

The fact that the parents have gone to a newspaper suggests something of their motivations.

One of the issues is that many parents 'over-share' with their children; and also tend to over-estimate their critical or conceptual faculties in dealing with information.

Very true. Plus the “professional” services these children are referred to, do not seem to acknowledge this is happening. It’s so elementary, the “professionals” are hugely failing these children.

The trick is not to seize on it and question them about something that means nothing at that age. My worry would be they have essentially made this child think it is important to fix on a gender and stick with it and thus harder to swing back again to being a girl if that is what the child wants

One of the issues is that many parents 'over-share' with their children; and also tend to over-estimate their critical or conceptual faculties in dealing with information.

If you introduce such concepts into a mind not able to deal with them at that level, the child will translate that information into a form they can understand.

There are over 500 comments- the vast majority are very critical and sceptical of the parents

This will be immediately interperted as 'hate' and then used in a way as to suggest that it is purely transphobia which creates mental health problems in trans people.

What causes mental health issues is not being able to accommodate reality in one's self image, or being too precious or fragile and not developing resilience.

There were boy/girl twins at nursery with my daughter. When the little girl's hair was long enough her parents started to put it up in bunches. Little brother also started to have random hair elastics holding clumps of hair in place so he didn't feel left out. Funnily enough, this did not turn him into a girl.

This poor, poor kid. It's child abuse, plain and simple.

Interesting because (paraphrasing) one of the things that was important to the dad was "accepting people for who they are and not putting them in a box

That's the terrible irony, isn't it? People think they're being radical or progressive.