Trans Widows Escape Committee 5: And so it continues...

And my rant about the failure to place responsibility was, of course, not aimed at you all fellow transwidows, but the world at large, and perhaps those who have wandered into the wrong forum.

And thank you for sharing the rules of misogyny. Thinking I need to frame those somewhere.

My children have one mother and that would be me.

Why is there never any responsibility placed on GROWN MALE PEOPLE for their own actions? Stop the delusions.

I did not take my children's father away. He chose that himself. He also chose to lie and deceive me from the get-go by not even mentioning that he had previously cross-dressed. If I had known that I would have gone running in the opposite direction. Not my thing. But somehow I am supposed to feel sorry for him that he is "trapped in the wrong body" or some such nonsense?

I don't prefer to live MY truth. I prefer to live THE truth.

And no reference to how the son has grieved for the father that no longer is spoken of. Perhaps that is also a child trying to please. Hoping the son has his own space to talk about his father’s transition.

Agree that it reads like fantasy. The sexual element makes it seem like male fantasy but maybe I'm being sexist.

I agree it reads like a fantasy. Being a victim, stereotypical gender roles, the child being influenced by the mother and wanting to please her (and not at all upset by Dad's behaviour after all!) Women's magazine clothing mattering (a lot), victimisation by the mother (even when she doesn't say a word, she does wrong!), stoical bravery, magnanimous forgiveness of the mother's mistakes, mother realizing the primacy of father's needs, victimisation again. Oh and finally happy families.
My ex so could have written some of this... he remains highly skilled at self-delusion.
There are plenty of organisations and media telling that particular story. It is in fact the only one allowed in the wider public domain, hence the need for a place to tell other, real, lived, less 'rainbow' experiences where it didn't turn out joyful.

“Testimony”

That 1st rule of misogyny is so true @TinselAngel

Yes, Father’s Day does seem to be more difficult. DC can still use a name is is sort of dad like but there has been more of a push from him to make it sound less so. We know how hard it is to lose a spouse but them still be there and my heart just hurts for the kids.

That having been said, it does read like a wish fulfillment fantasy of my ex's, that I would "ask for forgiveness" and continue to host family dinners and such.

@MumKateB, I'll take your story at face value, and am glad things worked out for you. But my experience with my ex who couldn't be bothered to see his children for six months and otherwise was completely obsessed with his new life, that was very different.

It must be a psstake. However, you'd still have to be somewhat of a gobshte to post that on this thread.

"He had been suffering in silence through my mistakes"

"she forgave me "

That's good dear. All's well that ends well eh?

As we like to say down here- bless your heart.

“ProudExclu
When police officers call him she and use his female name it does something to my brain. It makes remembering things very difficult”

I don’t think you are alone - anyone would find this impossible.

Somewhere someone wrote an article about why this sort of misuse of language is like rohypnol with one of the effects being the mental confusion and fog it causes.

Opps no it's not. Ignore me.

I read it as Mum.

Classic Urban Woman?

CUM for short.

How ironic.

MumKateB I'm surprised you didn't slip a "stunning and brave" in there while you were at it. Biological men can never be real mothers or "urban women". Children overwhelmingly choose for themselves whether or not they want to see late transitioning trans identified males who want to be called Mummy and that is not a relationship that is manipulated by their real mother as you seem to be suggesting.

Glad to hear Mothers Day went okay Seaside. Both Mothers Day and Fathers Day can be difficult after partners do this; Mothers Day here feels good as I haven't had to deal with demands to share 'mother' as some of you have, but Fathers Day is a different matter. It's all over social media in the UK in June, and the shops are starting to display cards. I can't imagine what it's like for children; straightforward bereavement loss of a father is hard enough, but the 'they've gone but they're here' ambivalence aspect must be terrible to tolerate.

Agree. I think you need a different forum MotherKate. This is a place for women who are unhappy with transitioning partners. Women on this thread are already the target of criticism and blame, and lack support. It's unhelpful and appears a little vindicitive to come on and blame women for the estrangement of their children from transitioning partners, although to be fair that's what men who leave their families usually do when they mismanage or neglect their relationship with their children regardless of the reason. We're all a bit sceptical I'm afraid. Finally, being assaulted in the street is far from an untypical female experience, so I'm not sure why you mention that. Well okay, I guess I know why...