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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Trans Widows Escape Committee 5: And so it continues...

983 replies

TinselAngel · 04/05/2021 21:25

Welcome to thread 5. A virtual prize for anyone who can guess the geeky sci fi reference in the thread title.

This is a support area for women who are, or have been, in unhappy relationships with male partners who are transitioning, or exploring their "gender identity"

If you are in that position-

  1. You are not alone
  2. It is not a situation that you should be expected to tolerate, let alone celebrate.
  3. There is always a way out, if you want it. The thread is called Escape Committee for that reason

Remember: women talking to each other is a powerful weapon!

In four years we have gone from starting the first thread, to launching a website, to be invited to give evidence to a government inquiry, which is pretty spectacular when you think about it.

Thanks to all the women who have told their stories and particularly to those who have stuck around to help others. Thanks also to @socialworker222 who remains nice cop, to my stern cop.

Do say hello to start the thread off!

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Thread gallery
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SeasideM · 03/08/2022 01:19

@ He always purported to be left leaning (USA version) and still does. However some of the things that spewed from him the one time I'd seen him drink too much was not in alignment with that. After that and hearing him talks at people (not with or to people..at them I now notice) I think his views are whatever suits & benefits him and he bs-es it all to sound like he has any clue.

TinselAngel · 22/07/2022 23:14

Great interview from two of our Australian trans widow sisters.

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TinselAngel · 19/07/2022 16:30

SouthernTW · 19/07/2022 03:11

Curious if any of you experienced your exes changing their political views along with transition?

Yes. They generally move to which ever party has the strongest stand on trans rights.

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themiserychick · 19/07/2022 09:57

@SouthernTW We have 2 children together, so yes it will be applicable.

Re politics, he has always been left leaning, probably even more so now.

SouthernTW · 19/07/2022 03:11

Curious if any of you experienced your exes changing their political views along with transition?

TinselAngel · 14/07/2022 09:50

twitter.com/transwidows/status/1507668952859693057?s=21&t=PVbbGLqq6lPL4BGj7WtQVg
Some background here.

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TinselAngel · 13/07/2022 23:43

Well I'm glad Mike Freer got told off.

The government have no plans to abolish the spousal exit clause (I've had this in writing), no fault divorce stands alongside it but does not replace it.

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Bosky · 13/07/2022 22:10

Hi - not a Transwidow - just wondering if any of you can make sense of this:

Women and Equalities Committee
Oral evidence: Work of the Minister for Equalities on LGBT+ matters, HC 545
Wednesday 6 July 2022
Ordered by the House of Commons to be published on 6 July 2022.

Watch the meeting
www.parliamentlive.tv/Event/Index/14a25c60-cdff-4501-9439-09eeedb888d2

Members present:
Kate Osborne (Chair);
Elliott Colburn;
Jackie Doyle-Price;
Carolyn Harris
and Caroline Dinenage.

Questions 1 - 44

Witnesses

Mike Freer MP, Minister for Equalities and Equality Hub at Government
Equalities Office;

Anna Thompson, Deputy Director LGBT domestic policy,
International and Communications, Equality Hub at Government Equalities Office

and

Marcus Bell, Director, Equality Hub at Government Equalities Office.

-------

Q18 Eric Colburn: Going over some of the more day-to-day issues, Minister,
in the Westminster Hall debate we had on GRA reform there were two
commitments made at the Dispatch Box—to remove disorder from the
GRA and remove the spousal veto. Could you update us on the progress
of those two commitments?

Mike Freer: I might let the officials answer so I do not get that wrong
again, but I am not sure where we are up to on the relevant Act
regarding divorces.

Anna Thompson: It is enforced now, and that Act enables no-fault
divorces to happen more smoothly, so it is not a question of changing
any provision in the Gender Recognition Act; it is more that the Divorce
Act should facilitate a process where both partners in a relationship, in a
marriage, or a civil partnership, are not happy for the relationship to
continue after transition.

Mike Freer: The ability of a partner to block it has been reduced—before
I get told off for using the wrong terminology.

---
See also, although of more general interest:

Q19 Elliott Colburn: And the progress on removing disorder from the GRA?

Anna Thompson: That is work we continue to plan to do; it is fair to say
that we have not yet started.
----

committees.parliament.uk/oralevidence/10567/pdf/

SouthernTW · 13/07/2022 04:01

Now I am questioning that as I can't remember whether you have children, @themiserychick. My apologies if that's not applicable.

SouthernTW · 13/07/2022 03:59

TinselAngel · 12/07/2022 09:44

Good! He'll have no trouble supporting himself then.

And hopefully paying child support as well.

TinselAngel · 12/07/2022 09:44

themiserychick · 11/07/2022 10:42

Thanks everyone. Amazingly he's suddenly decided that he needs a job, and that he should finish his studies. 🙄

Good! He'll have no trouble supporting himself then.

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themiserychick · 11/07/2022 10:42

Thanks everyone. Amazingly he's suddenly decided that he needs a job, and that he should finish his studies. 🙄

socialworker222 · 11/07/2022 09:04

Yes it sounds good to have taken that step Misery. Keep us posted.

TinselAngel · 10/07/2022 09:09

themiserychick · 09/07/2022 02:25

Hi everyone. I finally bit the bullet and broke up with him. It went way better than I thought it would, he was relieved rather than upset and depressed. Nothing is going change in the immediate future, but at least we both know where we stand.

That's really great news. Let us know what happens next.

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SouthernTW · 09/07/2022 19:11

@themiserychick - I am glad for you. May your life improve exponentially.

Italiangreyhound · 09/07/2022 17:45

@themiserychick well done. Hope things work out.

themiserychick · 09/07/2022 02:25

Hi everyone. I finally bit the bullet and broke up with him. It went way better than I thought it would, he was relieved rather than upset and depressed. Nothing is going change in the immediate future, but at least we both know where we stand.

TinselAngel · 23/06/2022 18:15

New trans widow's story on the website:

www.transwidowsvoices.org/post/lindas-story-look-back-in-anger

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SeasideM · 20/06/2022 01:04

Good golly does that sound like my dc's father. Off to read the article.

TinselAngel · 17/06/2022 23:24

Twitter thread about this book

twitter.com/hatpinwoman/status/1537922190795911170?s=21&t=XFAfKfOOqRb0kmoc28xckg

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Lost2022 · 14/06/2022 01:02

TinselAngel · 13/06/2022 20:46

"If it takes an act of public humiliation, in front of a camera, to make Katy feel better, and feel vindicated, so be it," Zoey shared. "I'm happy to do that. I love her that much.""

Well that's typically passive aggressive, isn't it?

Yep, the perpetual victim

TinselAngel · 13/06/2022 20:46

"If it takes an act of public humiliation, in front of a camera, to make Katy feel better, and feel vindicated, so be it," Zoey shared. "I'm happy to do that. I love her that much.""

Well that's typically passive aggressive, isn't it?

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SouthernTW · 12/06/2022 20:36

Here's the video:

www.cbsnews.com/video/katy-tur-on-her-memoir-rough-draft/#x

TinselAngel · 11/06/2022 19:20

The temptation of going from being an insignificant beta male, to a stunning and brave trans woman, who is at the same time is both very important and and special, and part of the Most Vulnerable and Marginalised Group in society™️.

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