Trans Widows Escape Committee 5: And so it continues...

@Cholumenosoapy Thank you...my heart goes out to you too. I send you love and light because words don't help but knowing you are not alone really can. Take care. X

Thanks everyone, your understanding and support are invaluable. My heart goes out to each of you dealing with this nightmare.

I’ve had some difficulties during my life but this is the worst thing ever.

Sorry to hear this is happening to you soapy. My ex in-laws took a fingers-in-ears approach, pretending nothing significant had happened and never ever asking me how I or their grandchildren were and never referring to what had happened. Families tend to close ranks regardless of the selfish or uncaring behaviour of a loved one, so if you can continue to be supportive and acknowledge to your daughter in law that this must be very difficult, you hope she is okay, ask if you can do anything to help, and if you can help with money, offer it without obligation or controlling how it is spent, that will be really helpful. You will feel conflicted as this is your child, but you don't have to 'take sides' by being equally caring and compassionate to her. If not already he is likely soon to have lots of support and congratulations for his 'bravery'. At the time my husband's colleague notes his bravery I rather felt the bravest people of all were his distressed, traumatized and bewildered children. Good for you for trying to support all parties.

I was thinking to a time when women are free to solve men's problems.... We read testimony from female detransitioners about (1) why they were seduced by the GI beliefs and (2) how they got out of the belief system This is the next step for males. Psychotherapists and psychiatrists should be helping their male GD suffering patients to resist the trans voice, to resist the siren voice in their minds in order to remain normal - please note that in section 25 of the GRA "gender dysphoria" is defined as a "disorder". GD is a disorder in UK law. Please do not remove.

I am utterly mystified. Why SPECIFICALLY are you removing my post?

I suspect its the 'C' word that's they objected to. I really wish they would just redact the word instead of removing the whole post.

Hello MNHQ. Why the deletion? I didn't say anything "hateful". I was thinking to a time when women are free to solve men's problems.... We read testimony from female detransitioners about (1) why they were seduced by the GI cult and (2) how they got out of the cult. This is the next step for males. Psychotherapists and psychiatrists should be helping their male GD suffering patients to resist the fetish, to resist the siren voice in their minds in order to remain normal - please note that in section 25 of the GRA "gender dysphoria" is defined as a "disorder". GD is a disorder in UK law. Please do not remove. I will copy for my records and future use.

@Cholumenosoapy I meant boat not post

@Cholumenosoapy Please feel free to PM message me if you ever need to talk. It really helps to speak to people who are in this rotten post through no fault of their own. I wish my mother in law was like you...mine hasn't even asked how I am coping. I don't know what to say other than I understand, because my mum has suffered terribly, trying to deal with it and seeing me heartbroken and my 3 children. I wish you the best.

The very worst rollercoaster. One minute I feel love for him and deep concern, the next I’m angry with him for ruining so many lives. I feel guilty because he’s my bloody son. I don’t think she’s told her parents yet. They will be devastated.

Thank you @womanundone . I’m so sorry you are going through this hell. It’s definitely felt like the worst nightmare I could have and one that never stops. I’m so sorry your mum is poorly. I completely understand.

My son is clearly annoyed with me because I’m struggling with it. I think he’s naïve to say the least. Did he really expect his family to not be shocked? Never have any of us thought he was anything but male. He’s very masculine looking and there’s nothing about him, whatsoever, that’s womanly.

I feel so upset for my DIL and their three dear children. My feelings about my son have been like a rollercoaster.

@Cholumenosoapy This is happening to me, I don't know what the answers are because its a unbelievable situation, for me its hell but one thing I didn't get for a period of time was support. My mum got very ill because of what my husband has done to me, she couldn't cope with the heart break she saw and there was a time I could even talk to her with out her breaking down and it was at that time that I was in my darkest place...So all I do know is, if you can, Just be there. Be someone who your daughter-in-law can come to for support and your grandchildren. It sounds like that is exactly what you are trying to do. Be strong and I wish you a way out of the darkness.

I also would recommend adding your voice to his wife's that he leave the house. And once he does, do whatever you can to support your daughter in law and grandchildren (I don't mean financially, although if you can do that, and they need it, that would be appreciated, I'm sure; transitioning men are selfish spendthrifts who in their pink fog have no trouble stinting their families).

I don't think you have to give your son house space in your own home; what he's going to be doing is going to be traumatic for you as well. But if in order for him to vacate his marital home he needs help with rent, and you can, you can do that and see it as helping his wife and children.

So sorry. This is hell for all concerned.

Thanks very much for your replies.

I texted her and said he’s told me to not contact her. I asked her to let me know if this was what she wanted. I haven’t had a reply. I’m left wondering whether he’s checking her phone, whether she’s scared of him, whether she’s onboard with it all???

I have spoken to her briefly, he was around, and she said she’s asked him to move out but he’s not happy.

Cholumenosoapy, I really wouldn’t take his word that his wife doesn’t want to talk about it. You need to hear that directly from her, or that could just be contributing to her isolation
💐 this must be very hard for all of you

Name changed for obvious reasons. Can any of you brave women give me some advice please? I’m a mother of a 45 year old man, who is married with three young children. He’s just announced that he has gender dysphoria and his marriage is over. No sign ever before now and he’s only just thought of it. He’s intent on pursuing this, he has referral to an NHS gender clinic and he’s telling everyone. His three children are next in line to be told.

I’ve pleaded with him to slow down and to hold off from telling the children. They are going to have enough to deal with with their parents splitting up.

Everything I’ve said has fallen on deaf ears. I don’t believe he’s a woman, I think he’s sick. He’s had a go at gaslighting me but I’m aware. He’s ordered me to cease any sort of contact about this, with him or his wife as apparently, I’m distressing them. I’m heartbroken for his wife and children. What, if anything, can I do?