Roblox, gender identity and safeguarding

I didn't want to come across all grumpy.

Yes, toffee - it's the article I was referring to. Should have said so.

^^ I realise Hecate's post wasn't critical of me, just adding a bit more to what I said originally.

I wouldn't let any child near Roblox full-stop.

Only reason mine knew about it or went near it was the bloody primary school promoting it - then 12 months later screaming about safe guarding concerns and about lack of parental supervison (mine were supervised in a downstairs room and asked what they were doing periodically and we still has issue stopping DS using it) while still allowing school access before finally blocking it.

That was a few years ago.

They have cheap/second hand smart phones from 11 - as not having such phone at secondary would mark them out - as everyone does. Since this last year the also have own laptops as they've been needed for school work and since eveyone's been in the house they have got used to having them in their rooms to work.

Only eldest has a whatsapp group with friends - other two make do with texts and none have FB/twitter or other platforms - we reserve right to check what they are up to on the phones which they know and phone are downstairs ar night. We and the shcool and us talk about people not being who they say on internet regularly - even before the are on social media about employers and other looking at past posts - having things locked down.

We're unusally tech savy and seem to have good relationship with our kids but we've still had issues - DS managed to run up a phone bill depite a cap becuase he found a round about way to buy in game things and not realise he was being billed and we did have to pay that and then put in even more safe guards on the phone contract - that was a leaning moment for us all.

I think while parents have a part to play but everyone's very quick to blame them for any issues and I don't think normalising odd on-line behavior in national newspapers helps anyone.

The fact that it is celebrated in the article that Hannah is acting as some sort of mother figure is really worrying.

One of many red flags

I have recently banned my 9 year old from Roblox, it was quite scary to see how she was sucked in. tbh she was quiet, I was working from home, so it kind of went under my radar. I was alerted when a worrying chat notification popped up on my tablet, which is when I delved deeper. I am pretty certain she had been communicating on Discord (though she denies this) I haven't yet read the other links about safety, but I will.

The article posted it as some harmless fun, but I have absolutely no idea who she was communicating and playing with and at 9 she hasn't the experience or skills to deal with this. The fact that it is celebrated in the article that Hannah is acting as some sort of mother figure is really worrying.

Actually my DD has not really made a fuss about not going on, she has tried a couple of times but I now have two step verification so has been unsuccessful.

I don't even know what I am writing here, but Roblox isn't the innocent game it seems it is.

that 'childhood bedroom' pic dressed in girlish, not 20-year-old-womanly, clothes. And the hormones, vocal cord and 'bottom surgery' being funded, it seems, by kindly strangers Hannah's met online. This all comes across as trying to create a sort of Peter Pan-like bonsai child.

The infantilisation of Hannah is particularly disturbing.

It's a grim story.

'“I just punched myself because I could have just come out at 10 years old and started puberty blockers,” she says. “Now I have to get surgery to reverse puberty.” She has spent almost three years on the NHS gender clinic’s waiting list, in the meantime opting for a private consultation, after which she was prescribed hormones. She now wants vocal cord surgery to feminise her voice and the gender-affirming procedure commonly known as “bottom surgery”, which she estimates will cost £30,000 in total.'

'Reverse puberty'? And no mention of 'top surgery'. And that 'childhood bedroom' pic dressed in girlish, not 20-year-old-womanly, clothes. And the hormones, vocal cord and 'bottom surgery' being funded, it seems, by kindly strangers Hannah's met online. This all comes across as trying to create a sort of Peter Pan-like bonsai child.

"Bodily autonomy" seems to be the answer to everything.

Yes, though Millennials at least must have grown up during that period when schools and other orgs were very meticulous about safeguarding - so much so that there was that Brass Eye parody of it. That all seems to have been thrown out of the window now.

And that no-one at the Guardian involved in the process of preparing this article for publication thought 'fucking hell' and raised concerns... what the hell is going on at that newspaper?

Thanks for sharing, OP. I read this last night and felt quite queasy.

Another article on Roblox: www.eveningexpress.co.uk/fp/news/local/warning-after-strangers-contact-north-east-children-online-to-ask-for-addresses2/

Bump. This article deserves to be read more widely and the implications for safeguarding considered carefully, especially given cases like Breck Bednar's highlighted by PPs.

The article has been archived;
archive.fo/aV4LC

...her mother’s wardrobe in their Devon home, full of clothes she longed to try on, even though this was forbidden.

But who was doing the forbidding? From everything in the article, her family has been supportive all along.

On another note, there was a link to this podcast:
'I just want to see the person I always saw in my head': the story of a face – podcast about a trans person.
Yeah, me too.

Whereas the actual girls wearing tights at school, one can guarantee, were not spending their time feeling great rushes of euphoria at the sensation of tights on their skin, just going about their everyday business.

Exactly, my DD was more likely to think, fuck these tights are itchy, and I've got another hole in them, why can't I just wear my jeans? This is the authentic female experience.

Also - because I realise that I've derailed a bit there - can you imagine an article where Catholic priests said that they were using online gaming to make contact with young children on the internet? Because once they're interested in gaming you can talk about the wider philosophical problems of life and faith?

Accompanied by a picture of a child surrounded by icons of the Virgin Mary and rosary beads? Would that be ok?

As noted above, if you change the specifics it's clear how unacceptable it all is.

Yes, sorry, I meant - what was the mother's reaction when she 'returned home and caught Hannah in the act'?

Parental anger/disgust/punishment is often given as a reason for children to turn to strangers for support. I thought it was interesting that the details were omitted here. We are meant to assume that something bad happened but it's not clear that it did.

I wondered what happened after the lingerie episode.

It escalated.

(extract)
"she explains how from that first moment she took every covert opportunity to try on her mother’s clothing, favouring nightdresses and floral skirts. At secondary school, she would wear tights under her school trousers, enjoying how they felt against her skin. In PE, she wore baggy trousers to hide the fact that she had shaved her legs. She experimented with her mother’s makeup, and when she got her first debit card, secretly ordered women’s clothes online." (continues)

I wondered what happened after the lingerie episode.

The usual narrative is that parent/authority figure finds out, shames the child and forces their 'true identity' further underground. That bit was missing here. Why? Is it possible the family has been supportive throughout?

The article overall is trying to tell us it's perfectly safe and healthy to trust strangers online. Usually this is underpinned by 'because your parents won't understand and aren't on your side' - and this article shows that's not true. Even the interviewee feels regret that they didn't ask their family for support earlier.

Yes, it's quite striking.