Looking for GCish lesbian groups

shedbuilder your post said it all and I too am angry and sad about what we had and did which we can no longer do, I remember in the 70s the women’s monthly events when we could all be together, straight and lesbian having a good time, the place in Camden too in the eighties with live acts sometimes. The men have spoiled it all, and I’m y heart aches for w9men and young lesbians especially in these times. But thank you for all you did...

Visible lesbians on the BBC on Lesbian Visibilty Day? Whatever next!

Just started on facebook:

Lesbian Strength Leeds – Lesbian Day of Visibility 2021 – Panel Discussion:
Julia Beck, Uma Conti, Lin Farley, Jodie Ray – Chair: Lauren Hamstead
26 April 2021 7pm (UK time)
Live on the Lesbian Strength Facebook Page
www.facebook.com/womanlovingwomen/posts/1908537632637283

I started to reply in what I hope was a supportive manner but couldn't get over the phrase "possibility of shagging other women" so gave up.

But I think there is quite a long conversation to be had about how women who are celibate, are in fact on the start of a journey towards becoming lesbian.

Again in the 70s there were discussions around this, far more than what is talked about ie "political lesbianism".

Anyhow have nothing really to add because lockdown, and social media makes me think it is hard to know how anyone can meet up and get to know others even on a purely platonic basis to start with.

But the BBC have posted this - a celebration of Lesbian Bars. Haven't dared watch it as being the BBC you wonder what their definition of lesbian is! www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-56866034

This resonates with me. I am North East based and looking to meet a woman like this for the first time in a casual way.

I have tried and looked at dating apps and just not for me - I guess COVID has made things like this even harder. Anyone else in same boat?

Thanks for the sympathy. There is nothing better than a really good night where women can relax, out of the male gaze, and enjoy dancing and talking freely. I love the fact that the events I've helped organise have been multi-generational — women in their 20s all the way through to their 70s, all getting together because they enjoy being with other women — whether they're straight or not. Wear what you want, dance how you like — no competition, no need to impress. Very liberating!

I guess it doesn't affect gay men in the same way. Maybe saunas is one way around single sex provision, though there was an incident a couple of years ago about one excluding a transman.

I imagine OJ & his friends would be much more understanding about a gay sauna remaining single sex than a lesbian bar.

That's terrible Shed. I left London in 2000, and I remember very occasionally discussing the possibility of transwomen in lesbian spaces, but it never actually happened.

I guess it doesn't affect gay men in the same way. Maybe saunas is one way around single sex provision, though there was an incident a couple of years ago about one excluding a transman.

Shed .

I can remember being invited along to women's [lesbian] events as a young woman in the 80s and they were very special and I felt very privileged.

I am so sorry that this is now being made hard for you.

I can remember going to a couple of so-called lesbian bars in Manchester and even back in 2008 there were always transwomen there, all too often glowering at the dykes from the sidelines. It put a dampener on things and I think women just stopped going to them.

A lot of venues have become very nervous about hosting single-sex events. Over the years I've organised many women's nights and lesbian nights — live music, club nights, cabarets, charity events — wherever I've lived. It was around 2008 that Student Unions, which had previously been very supportive of women-only events, started to say no, I couldn't book a bar or venue at the university for a women-only fundraiser for the local Women's Aid (or whatever), because it was discriminatory to hold a woman-only event. It had to be inclusive. The local FE college, which had a wonderful bar, started saying the same thing.

That source of safe, accessible venues with car parking and lighting and good staff became unavailable to us. After that lots of other clubs, social clubs and even pubs started querying whether they'd be prosecuted for hosting an event publicised as women-only. For years we'd booked a field at a campsite in Devon each June and held a women's camp but around 2014 they started getting twitchy and saying they'd had complaints (from TRAs) and 2015 was the last year they allowed us to go. It just takes one TRA to phone a venue and tell them that it's illegal of them to let their premises to a single-sex group and wham, years of goodwill down the drain.

The good news is that village halls and church halls are still readily available to us, even if the atmosphere and facilities can be a bit lacking. I've begun to really love the UK parish hall network, which has enabled us to keep holding women's events under the radar of the TRAs.

Many venues now seem to think that any women-only event is illegal unless it's held as a private event by invitation only. In 2018 I booked a local club for my birthday bash, invited all my lesbian and women friends and had a fab night with a live women's band and two female DJs. A couple of the local transwomen heard about it and tried to get in but I was able to say they hadn't been invited and the door staff refused them entry. It was a great event and the club loved the band and DJs so much they booked them for future dates. But afterwards the bar manager received complaints about discrimination and even though it was a private event he contacted me to say he'd prefer it if I didn't try to book the place again.

This is what we're up against and why for lesbians, at least, it's really important to have the right to hold women-only and lesbian-only events strengthened.

I think it was partly depoliticisation, partly increased acceptance of homosexuality (two lesbians wanting to go in a date could now more easily just meet in a restaurant or pub), partly the ever-rising rents for commercial property pricing out the more specialist venues. I miss them too.

Is that just what it was? It feels like some of those closures happened quite a while ago rather than in the last few years when gender ideology became more prominent - or has it been a thing for longer? (I'm back out in the sticks now where we didn't have anything in the first place!) I wondered whether it was part of the general depoliticisation of everything since the 90s, the whole "lipstick lesbian" was taking off as I left London.

What’s changed is that women, & lesbians in particular, are no longer allowed to have single-sex spaces.

Stonewall, Diva magazine & Pride are now all about centring transwomen & ‘same-gender’ attraction & it’s unacceptable to say that lesbians don’t have penises.

Thanks for that Red. It's interesting, what has changed? Is it that they are no longer women only spaces or something else? I lived in Hackney in the 90s and we had Due South and the Clarence (just over the border in Islington) that were entirely women only, then the backroom of the Duke of Wellington, now nothing?

www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-56866034
'We do like a rave!' Inside the UK's last lesbian bars

There are only a handful of fixed lesbian venues operating in the UK, and some have had to rebrand to stay viable.

Alternative nights are also popping up, offering variety and flexibility without the overheads of a permanent space.

On Lesbian Visibility Week, those who run these nights - and the people who enjoy them - talk about how things are evolving.

The elephant in the room is definitely there. Particularly with the lesbian who can't say the word lesbian.

The BBC almost get to the point with the question about LGBT being dominated by men, but not quite. Its almost as if sexism can be seen but not discussed.

It's how most of us start. Lots of GC groups around but they are usually by recommendation only and deep underground.

Yes - most GC groups now are likely to want recommendation by at least one person who knows you in real life and / or a visible & verifiable history of GC posts on social media. It’s a shame. But it’s necessary.

Perhaps I'm harsh but lesbians have always known the perils of straight women wanting to experiment with them and these days we have the extra complication of transbians infiltrating every group. You actually need to like the company of women-focussed women, OP, and be sensitive to what is now a beleaguered and underground community. Do you have any lesbian contacts/ acquaintances? Talk to them. Ask them about groups, events and so on. Get to know them socially, build a network. It's how most of us start. Lots of GC groups around but they are usually by recommendation only and deep underground.

I think that’s a little bit harsh, shedbuilder, though I understand where you’re coming from. We all had to start somewhere. In the good old days I’d have suggested the OP join a coming out group like Changes at London Friends, that’s been going for donkey’s years, but nowadays I doubt that’s a safe space. Without that, I think trying to join some lesbian social groups if such can be found, and make some friends, is probably a good and ethical way to start exploring.

OP, you might like to consider the fact that this:
I have come to the realisation that I really do want to explore the possibility of shagging other women
is unlikely to get you very far with any of the lesbians I know.

Do you speak German, OP?!

lesbianandgaynews.com/2021/03/lesbian-spring-gathering-2021-in-bremen-from-21-24-may/

It’s really sad that we’re back to the days when lesbian groups have to worry about being infiltrated by men.