Help explain non binary

Oh the poor thing, such a hard time

You love her, she's great as she is, she doesn't need to change to be perfect to you

I don’t know WTF is on TikTok as that is all she uses and obviously has no social media.

There are some very concerning things on TikTok. Parents/carers really need to be on top of what their children are viewing.

Why is an 11 year old even interested in discussing breastfeeding and cervixes? She needs some age-appropriate interests.

That's a very reckless claim. All the evidence points to the opposite:

www.forbes.com/sites/dawnstaceyennis/2020/07/15/largest-survey-of-transgender-and-nonbinary-youth-says-more-than-half-seriously-considered-suicide/?sh=2449aa0e3404

It's funny how autism interacts with the gender identity stuff… I've come across disproportionately large numbers of self-identifying gender-diverse people in autistic groups and disproportionately large numbers of autistic people in LGBTQetc. groups, but then there are other autistic people like me, for whom autistic thinking styles lead to great difficulty with accepting the social necessity of lying about whether people are men or women, and with accepting being lied to.

This thread should be in LGBT children, so I've asked Mumsnet to move it.

A 11 year old is NOT vulnerable to their parents questioning something as serious as what the OP’s sister is saying. She’s 11 Ffs not 21.

I would be doing some serious review of what she is watching online and finding some other balanced things for her to watch.

Good luck op.

Ah, I now see that she is autistic. I think this adds another level of complexity as she is likely to have obsessive tendencies AND is likely to be feeling increasing pressure from social interactions with real life peers as well as the fear of puberty etc.

But none of these youth cults endorsed and entrenched conservative, regressive sexist stereotypes in the way 'non-binary'/gender ideology does, and the most lasting thing you might do to yourself physically back then was get tattoos, a few piercings or - at the extreme end - vampire fang implants.

I would try to demonstrate to her that being a girl/woman is compatible with any behaviour/dress/role/occupation but that she has a sexed body and her sex is female.

At 11 I do wonder if, as well as social media, there is perhaps a fear of puberty both in a physical sense and a social transition to adulthood which is driving this?

I would suggest that your parents reduce and monitor her social media use whilst being as generally supportive of her as possible but not changing pronouns.

By choosing to use ‘mixed sex’ toilets she needs to know she is putting herself at risk as there are men who will use these toilets to gain unchallenged access to females. She’s 11. She knows she’s female. She may well pretend that she’s neither male or female because tic tock videos are heavily influencing other 11 yr olds into this madness.
She is vulnerable because she is an 11 year old girl, and is autistic. Not because she’s decided she’s ‘non binary’.
The urban myths around ‘trans’ children being rejected by their families is just that. Children whose parents will not affirm their trans identities are not rejecting their children, they are just not being forced into going along with this ideology.

OP, talk to your sister. Ask her to explain to you what she actually means, what difference it will make to her life. Id bet my house on it that she can’t give a logical explanation.

They have made themselves very vulnerable by telling you, and if they have trans friends, they are probably well aware that there is a high risk of significant family rejection.

Unfortunately this is what many children are being told on internet forums.
It is a very serious Safeguarding and Child Protection issue when strangers convince children that they will be rejected by their parents/carers.

They have made themselves very vulnerable by telling you

Vulnerable to what? Being disobeyed when they tell others how to refer to them?

Its important for children this young to have adults that can explain clearly that sex (female/male, girl/boy, women/men) is not the same as 'gender identity'.

Toilets are provided on the basis of sex. Female toilets have cubicals with tampon/towel dipensers etc. Male toilets have urinals.

Female toilets can be used by all female people (girls and women) including those with a non-binary gender identity.

This child is no more vulnerable than any other child- and probably significantly less than many.

OP are you able to chat with her? She sounds like she’s embarking on a period of trying to work out who she is/what her place in the world is. Like most of us do when we’re young. She may find it helpful to discuss it all with you, as a semi outsider.

My sister says she isn’t old enough to decide what her gender is so she’s non-binary.

You could tell her that she doesn't have to decide what her 'gender' is (choosing to be non-binary is deciding to have a gender of non-binary) and she can just be a girl. So she should use girls'/women's toilets. Explain that most women don't 'have a gender' either and that they're just women.

‘Non binary toilets’?

What fresh hell is this?!