Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Is mental illness an excuse for bad behaviour?

31 replies

WomanWithoutTheMan · 06/04/2021 21:23

Similarly, is a bad childhood an excuse too?

Maybe FWR isn't the right place for this. At the same time, I often read about women being emotionally-blackmailed into forgiving their abusers because their abuser has a mental illness or traumatic past.

Mental illness and bad upbringings seem to be taken into account when abusers are sentenced too.

One of my best friends was badly abused as a child. Luckily she has managed to recover as much as possible. However, for years she was told that whilst the abuse wasn't her fault, it wasn't her abusers either. He himself had a bad childhood and was an alcoholic, which many people thought was an excuse for his disgusting behaviour. Because of this, my friend was always told that she had to forgive him. Personally, my sympathy for that man's addiction and childhood stopped when he abused my friend, but maybe I'm too hard-arsed?

OP posts:
RabbitOfCaerbannog · 06/04/2021 21:43

It depends on the type and severity of mental illness.

sausagerollcake · 06/04/2021 21:42

How long is a piece of string.

I know someone who has had episodes of psychosis. It would not be an excuse but it would be a reason.

Trixie78 · 06/04/2021 21:39

It's a tricky one to answer. When does a victim stop being a victim? Or are some victims deserving of sympathy and some not, if not, why?

SpringtimeSummertime · 06/04/2021 21:37

No. It explains it but doesn’t ever excuse it.

Babdoc · 06/04/2021 21:37

I think you raise two separate issues here, OP. Mental illness can be a legitimate defence even to a murder charge, if the defendant is too psychotic to have responsibility for their actions.
Forgiveness is a separate thing entirely. As a Christian, I believe genuine repentance has to come before forgiveness can be sought or given. Nobody should feel obliged to forgive an unrepentant abuser, no matter what their mitigating circumstances.

BlackWaveComing · 06/04/2021 21:36

No.

It can form part of a context for understanding behaviour, however. Which may or may not be of use to people affected by those blaming a traumatic past or mental illness for the harm they do.