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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Totally ridiculous and really damaging

35 replies

jennytogether · 05/04/2021 08:26

I was reading an interview with Minnie Driver in the guardian yesterday where she describes having to be dug a hole to stand in to kiss her on screen love interest so that he is taller than her. And it struck me that this is so totally ridiculous...

As a woman who is 5ft11, and who was 5ft11 aged 13, I ‘knew’ that being tall was not feminine or attractive, (without being super skinny supermodel territory) and I guess I’m working out that it was because it wasn’t allowed to be visible. I can’t believe that directors would go to this much effort without critically thinking, perhaps our audience is ready for a taller woman and shorter man? Perhaps they are intelligent enough to understand that love between this type of couple is possible!!

It makes me annoyed that something so superficial is so standardised. Can anyone think of any films where the male lead is shorter than the female? Or is still no one daring to think this obstacle could be overcome?

It makes me angry that I’m realising that so much of my insecurity probably stems from something as ridiculous as this. This must go for shorter men too.

Totally ridiculous and really damaging
OP posts:
Thelnebriati · 05/04/2021 12:01

Only if your chin was facing the camera or in shot.
I used to know a burned out old hippy. He laughed about the fact he used to tell women they should cook, because they looked better than him standing in front of the cooker.

OneEpisode · 05/04/2021 12:00

Ryan Gosling born 1980 matched with Eva Mendes born 1974 in The Place Beyond The Pines. (I am cheating because she played to character as a young and older woman in the movie, but they are a real life couple now).

toffeebutterpopcorn · 05/04/2021 11:57

I’d have a massive double chin if I was kissing someone much shorter!

jennytogether · 05/04/2021 11:44

@OneEpisode say what???! God.

Any good examples of films that fight these stereotypes? I feel the need to buy some to put my money where my politics are!!

OP posts:
jennytogether · 05/04/2021 11:40

@toffeebutterpopcorn I didn’t know this.. and it make sense... but asks a lot more questions about why we think a tilted up profile is more beautiful. There’s something a bit gross about the whole male dominance thing - height, and age and power. Something you really have to fight to see past as you grow up and realise relationships are about mutual partnerships. Sucky messages for girls and boys in all cases really.

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OneEpisode · 05/04/2021 10:46

Colin Farrell born 1976. Angelina born 1975.

toffeebutterpopcorn · 05/04/2021 10:19

I always thought it was so that in profile a kiss between a shorter woman and taller man, the woman’s profile looks better.

FightingTheFoo · 05/04/2021 09:49

@Tibtom

It is not just height though, is the female lead ever older than their love interest without that being a key part of the plot?Generally the age gap is such that the man is decades older than the woman. The film industries view of women and especially female beauty is incredibly narrow.
And conversely I think someone made a list of films where the actress playing the mum is only a few years older than the actor who plays her son in real life. E.g. Angelina Jolie and Colin Firth in Alexander.
RandomDent · 05/04/2021 09:03

Reminds me of Monty Python’s Scott of the Antarctic. They knew, even then.
(Clip of actor on boxes in a trench)
getyarn.io/yarn-clip/cce499be-0734-4578-bbff-d9c1edd9b167

Tibtom · 05/04/2021 08:43

It is not just height though, is the female lead ever older than their love interest without that being a key part of the plot?Generally the age gap is such that the man is decades older than the woman. The film industries view of women and especially female beauty is incredibly narrow.