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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

It is not feminist to fancy evil people

140 replies

MaryHappyWin · 24/03/2021 19:39

This is an important feminist point.
It is not feminist to support every evil.
Feminism is not about freeing women to commit evil.
Just as no decent person wants every man to support evil.
It is not feminist to support abuse and violence and bullying.
Feminism is not about people supporting abusers,
It is not feminist to fancy evil people.
I think people who are attracted to evil are evil.
If someone supports evil then they are evil.
I am fed up hearing people boast about their sexual attraction to abusive evil men, as if it is something to be proud of.
People who fancy evil people are so smug about supporting abusive men, as if it is a cheeky fetish. It is not a cheeky fetish. It is supporting evil. It is making evil people win.
You cannot be a good feminist if you attracted to abusers,

bullies, rapists, gangsters, child abusers and domestic abusers.

Abusers are evil and can wreck lives with mental illness and trauma.
It is depraved, warped, twisted, trite, smug, narcissistic and selfish to be attracted to evil people.
I read someone suggest that no one should be shamed for their sexual, preferences. But I disagree with that.
There is nothing wrong with being gay or lesbian.
But people should be ashamed to be sexually attracted to evil people, as in abusers.
Supporting rapists and murderers is on the same level as being sexually attracted to child abuse.
People should be shamed for their sexual preferences if their sexual preferences make them support abusive people, out of a sexual desire for evil people.
Sexual attraction is a powerful emotion. If someone is sexually attracted to evil, then they are fundamentally evil people for finding evil sexually attractive. They are no different to child abusers, or bullies or domestic abusers. If someone supports evil then they are evil.

To fancy someone for doing evil, gives support to that evil person, it humiliates the victim. It makes the evil person win.
It is not brave, or profound or mysterious to support evil abusive people. It is cowardly, weak-minded, cliched, creepy and depraved to fancy people for abusing others.
I think many people stay with wife beaters because they are brought up to see abusive violent men as manly and sexy. That is utterly sick. We need to stop people seeing evil as manly and sexy.
Also films that support rape are evil. Films that glamorize or support rape should be banned. Anyone who supports rape is dangerous.

I remember as a child being driven at by a young man, who was accompanied by two laughing girls, as he tried to run me over.
There are tones of examples of people support their bully doing bullying.
Sexual attraction to evil is not romantic it is weak minded and creepy,
There are people who fancy abusive dangerous men, and still think they can see themselves as the voice of common sense. If you fancy abusive people, then you are motivated to support abuse and punish their victims.

I hope my view does not cause anyone any offence. I am interested to see people's replies. What do you think of my view. Should people be free to support abuse?

OP posts:
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TheBuffster · 24/03/2021 21:36

Yes, I'm sure all these fictional men really appreciate being fancied.
FYI the guy that plays Spike has a very good professional reputation, so nothing like his character.

User133847 · 24/03/2021 21:33

@imalmostthere

I fancy spike too. And angel. They both did some killing. Damon! Hey maybe it's vampires. But gosh, several tv villains I've had a crush on over the years. Everyone loves a bad boy! Sorry if that offends you op. Also - what in the hell is this post? At what point has someone bragged about being attracted to a rapist? You sound a bit unhinged op Confused
Everyone loves a bad boy

And we wonder why a lot of men are bad!

Maybe they're rewarded for it with adoring women.

NCNCNNC · 24/03/2021 21:29

What on earth is this thread about?? Like the Buffy derail though Grin

TheBuffster · 24/03/2021 21:27

The whole Joss Whedon thing kind of takes the sheen off it though.

I prefer to look at it as the legacy of some amazing actors. Sarah Michelle Cellar is an amazing actress and I think she and the other actors made the show.

I've started a Buffy and feminism thread by the way in case anyone wants to geek out with me?

Doyoumind · 24/03/2021 21:23

I really enjoyed Buffy at the time but I've never gone back to watch it the whole way through again. Maybe I should.

The whole Joss Whedon thing kind of takes the sheen off it though.

NiceGerbil · 24/03/2021 21:22

There are those women who write to/ marry men on death row.

That's a bit weird. But I suppose they know they'll never actually have to live with them or anything.

NiceGerbil · 24/03/2021 21:21

They are also always mysterious and handsome.

Not sure some rough looking geezer who has done time for animal cruelty or something.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 24/03/2021 21:20

Way too killy

Just a tad... :o

HamFisted · 24/03/2021 21:19

In fiction, women don't fancy truly evil characters generally, do they? They're either misunderstood or secretly good or something.

They've got to have some good in them somewhere or they're not fanciable, are they?

NiceGerbil · 24/03/2021 21:14

I also fancied both spike and angel.

It was a TV prog though Grin

In real life I would not have been keen. Way too killy, and I like excitement but that lifestyle would be a bit much.

My longest lasting crush- child to adult is Spock. Definitely not evil.

NiceGerbil · 24/03/2021 21:12

You what now?

Come back and tell us more.

Fyi I have never heard a woman bragging about being with a man who abuses her.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 24/03/2021 21:09

It is depraved, warped, twisted, trite, smug, narcissistic and selfish to be attracted to evil people

Dunno how you can write the above and then say you hope you dont cause offence

If i did fancy evil men then i would deffo be offended by all that

I don’t fancy evil men so its all good

TheBuffster · 24/03/2021 21:07

Poor Anne Brontë.
Yes, I missed Heathcliff. I believe he was my first fictional crush of note.

HamFisted · 24/03/2021 21:07

Sorry, come again?

nellly · 24/03/2021 21:06

Women who are abused as children (often by family members) are prone to being attracted to abusive men as adults, that's sad and requires therapy to resolve which is out of reach for some.

They are not evil and it does not mean they support abuse they are victims of circumstance

TheBuffster · 24/03/2021 21:05

Agree Kylo Ren is not attractive at all. His storyline is kind of messy too.
Young Adult Vader (Anakin) is kind of cute, but I don't like his fall from hero to villain as I think it's rushed.

BoredtoTiers · 24/03/2021 21:04

WTAF? You're attracted to who you're attracted to. I mean, for sure, if you actively pursue abusers or serial killers, seek help.

Fancying a fictional evil in a fictional universe is totally different. Problematic hot is fine as a fantasy - doubt many people want to act it out.

Fancying someone who has done evil in the past? Well maybe it can't be helped. What you can control is whether you act on it. The actual attraction, probably not so much.

TeiTetua · 24/03/2021 21:03

Take a look at "Dude watchin' with the Brontes" by the Canadian cartoonist Kate Beaton:
www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=202

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 24/03/2021 21:03

He is cute

Ive no idea how she managed to source a mini pleather jacket

Sorry OP, i got distracted by the spike love

TheBuffster · 24/03/2021 21:01

Owww he's so sweet. His expression says series 6(I love you Buffy, pine).
Or series 3 take me back Dru.

TheBuffster · 24/03/2021 21:00

Ohh can I look that art up? Amazing idea.
Thank goodness she didn't end up with Xander in some awful plot twist.
Sarah Michelle Cellar and Nicholas Brenden pitched this to Joss because they really didn't like the Spike love story. So glad they went with the Spike arc. Xander shirtless just doesn't have the same appeal.

Buffy is great for conversations about consent, relationships and boundaries.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 24/03/2021 20:59

@TheBuffster

**I have a teddy version of spike

Not a proper teddy, more dog like**

I'm struggling trying to picture this. Sounds awesome though.

Here...she was working off a photo
It is not feminist to fancy evil people
It is not feminist to fancy evil people
WhoWants2Know · 24/03/2021 20:57

I haven't seen a Mumsnet thread on the subject that even agrees on the existence of evil, let alone whether attraction to "evil" people is anti-feminist.

I'm not saying evil doesn't exist,
but I think life is a little more nuanced than OP makes out.

Like, do you think bad people walk around with signs declaring their nefarious intentions, and women just decide to fall for them anyway because they are bad feminists?

TheBuffster · 24/03/2021 20:56

And Spike was her favourite too.
The obvious choice.
"Angel's bloody stupid and his hair goes straight up"

imalmostthere · 24/03/2021 20:55

@TheBuffster
I actually recently started a fan art series called women of sunnydale, in support of charisma when she spoke out about Joss. It's heartbreaking isn't it.
And a very good point about Riley - I didn't like the bloke, but I just felt she fit better with him than anyone else. Thank goodness she didn't end up with Xander in some awful plot twist.