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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

It is not feminist to fancy evil people

140 replies

MaryHappyWin · 24/03/2021 19:39

This is an important feminist point.
It is not feminist to support every evil.
Feminism is not about freeing women to commit evil.
Just as no decent person wants every man to support evil.
It is not feminist to support abuse and violence and bullying.
Feminism is not about people supporting abusers,
It is not feminist to fancy evil people.
I think people who are attracted to evil are evil.
If someone supports evil then they are evil.
I am fed up hearing people boast about their sexual attraction to abusive evil men, as if it is something to be proud of.
People who fancy evil people are so smug about supporting abusive men, as if it is a cheeky fetish. It is not a cheeky fetish. It is supporting evil. It is making evil people win.
You cannot be a good feminist if you attracted to abusers,

bullies, rapists, gangsters, child abusers and domestic abusers.

Abusers are evil and can wreck lives with mental illness and trauma.
It is depraved, warped, twisted, trite, smug, narcissistic and selfish to be attracted to evil people.
I read someone suggest that no one should be shamed for their sexual, preferences. But I disagree with that.
There is nothing wrong with being gay or lesbian.
But people should be ashamed to be sexually attracted to evil people, as in abusers.
Supporting rapists and murderers is on the same level as being sexually attracted to child abuse.
People should be shamed for their sexual preferences if their sexual preferences make them support abusive people, out of a sexual desire for evil people.
Sexual attraction is a powerful emotion. If someone is sexually attracted to evil, then they are fundamentally evil people for finding evil sexually attractive. They are no different to child abusers, or bullies or domestic abusers. If someone supports evil then they are evil.

To fancy someone for doing evil, gives support to that evil person, it humiliates the victim. It makes the evil person win.
It is not brave, or profound or mysterious to support evil abusive people. It is cowardly, weak-minded, cliched, creepy and depraved to fancy people for abusing others.
I think many people stay with wife beaters because they are brought up to see abusive violent men as manly and sexy. That is utterly sick. We need to stop people seeing evil as manly and sexy.
Also films that support rape are evil. Films that glamorize or support rape should be banned. Anyone who supports rape is dangerous.

I remember as a child being driven at by a young man, who was accompanied by two laughing girls, as he tried to run me over.
There are tones of examples of people support their bully doing bullying.
Sexual attraction to evil is not romantic it is weak minded and creepy,
There are people who fancy abusive dangerous men, and still think they can see themselves as the voice of common sense. If you fancy abusive people, then you are motivated to support abuse and punish their victims.

I hope my view does not cause anyone any offence. I am interested to see people's replies. What do you think of my view. Should people be free to support abuse?

OP posts:
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NiceGerbil · 24/03/2021 22:07

Or I AM a bastard, women should love it.

I suppose the reason it's so common is

Many things esp USA films really glamourise being big strong violent nasty etc
And of course the male lead needs to have a hot woman to pull

The most corrosive thing though is that time and time again it goes. Woman thinks he's horrible. Then somehow they are thrown together and she has to hang around with him. And she really thinks he's a dick and tells him so. And then CHANGES HER MIND.

What message is this sending to everyone?

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 24/03/2021 22:07

@User133847

*The women fancy bad boys idea is very popular in TV and films.

Men going around shooting people Willy nilly and being horrible to everyone and the female star is yay he's great.*

Then you get men who watch it and think 'i'll be a bastard, women will love it'.

It's a bit chicken or egg situation though isn't it?

A lot of these shows are written by men.
A lot of men subscribe to the idea that "nice guys finish last" and "women love a bad boy". Ofc "nice" turns out to be a lot of the time "I do x,y,z so why won't you sleep with /date me ,you bitch!" . Which isn't very nice at all.

It's a vicious circle.

TheBuffster · 24/03/2021 22:06

We'll the obvious solution then is for (mostly male) writers to stop writing bad boy parts for (male) good looking actors.

NiceGerbil · 24/03/2021 22:01

The women fancy bad boys/ evil men is wonky though.

Women who do fancy these men do so generally I assume because they are handsome. And they are never going to meet them.

They aren't as I mentioned fancying the rough looking old bloke down the road with convictions for animal cruelty.

User133847 · 24/03/2021 22:01

*The women fancy bad boys idea is very popular in TV and films.

Men going around shooting people Willy nilly and being horrible to everyone and the female star is yay he's great.*

Then you get men who watch it and think 'i'll be a bastard, women will love it'.

TheBuffster · 24/03/2021 22:00

Oh god way to ruin my fantasy man.
Maybe that's what Bojo is aiming for? Someone needs to set him straight.

Doyoumind · 24/03/2021 21:59

@PferdeMerde

Op, have you just found out your mum fancies Boris Johnson or something?
Boris and Spike have the same coloured hair. Maybe there's something in this.
NiceGerbil · 24/03/2021 21:59

I would say it's JRM who strikes me as evil.

Surely no one fancies him?

NiceGerbil · 24/03/2021 21:58

Hahaha

TheBuffster · 24/03/2021 21:58

@PferdeMerde

Op, have you just found out your mum fancies Boris Johnson or something?
Barf.
PferdeMerde · 24/03/2021 21:55

Op, have you just found out your mum fancies Boris Johnson or something?

NiceGerbil · 24/03/2021 21:53

The women fancy bad boys idea is very popular in TV and films.

Men going around shooting people Willy nilly and being horrible to everyone and the female star is yay he's great.

I rewatched Indiana Jones the other day the one with the starving village. He's an absolute wanker to that woman. In real life when good looking men are absolute wankers, really nasty dickheads, their prettiness is lessened.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder etc.

Also stranger things later series.

They turned the police guy from a troubled but essentially good man into an out and out arsehole. I have no idea why. And of course the woman fancied him.
She should have gone off with the guy with the ham radio in his garage. I would have Grin

Doyoumind · 24/03/2021 21:52

The whole vampire thing is about sex anyway, so it makes sense for them to be desirable.

Thelnebriati · 24/03/2021 21:49

@User133847

Yes, I'm sure all these fictional men really appreciate being fancied.

A lot of women were falling over themselves over Ted Bundy when the series came out recently.

Were they feminists?
NiceGerbil · 24/03/2021 21:48

Vampires are brooding and mysterious and good looking. I'm sure plenty of blokes fancy female vampires. In fact the films going back years have invariably had a load of scantily clad female vampires in them.

In real life men who are brooding, mysterious, good looking... Secretive, only around at night are not a good bet.

Vampires are murderers. The idea that lots of women fancy murderers is a bit bonkers.

TheBuffster · 24/03/2021 21:47

If they are good looking or even normal looking it seems more weird. Because many cultures link good looks to other good attributes.

Agreed. We'll established theme in fairytales and Jungian archetypes.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 24/03/2021 21:45

As for vampires... Klaus and Elijah . I've moved on with the times.Grin

NiceGerbil · 24/03/2021 21:44

There's a fascination with people who commit awful crimes across society.

If they are good looking or even normal looking it seems more weird. Because many cultures link good looks to other good attributes. (Not just me saying that it's an observed phenomenon). And people like to think that people who commit awful crimes are monsters and that should somehow show on their face.

When you say all over. Do you mean saying wow I never realised he was so good looking. Or wow I would really like to meet him in real life and go out with him and it would be great if he was released and we lived together...?

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 24/03/2021 21:43

Everyone loves a bad boy

They don't really. It's either a nice fantasy/fictional character OR

Some women need to think they're that special one that will help/fix/tame him. Fucked up and delusional? Yes. Evil? No.

There's also a third category that fetishise criminals (especially famous one) but I consider that to be a mental health issue.

HamFisted · 24/03/2021 21:43

@TheBuffster

Yes, I'm sure all these fictional men really appreciate being fancied. FYI the guy that plays Spike has a very good professional reputation, so nothing like his character.
I think it's generally the actors people fancy, to be fair. It's probably based more on looks than personality- David Boreanaz was just as attractive in Bones, as a thoroughly good guy FBI agent, as he was in Buffy as a vampire.
User133847 · 24/03/2021 21:39

Yes, I'm sure all these fictional men really appreciate being fancied.

A lot of women were falling over themselves over Ted Bundy when the series came out recently.

JosieJarker · 24/03/2021 21:39

Vampires do feature quite disproportionately on this thread.
Spike, Angel, Dracula, Eric, the twilight ones, never seen that so dont know which is which.
I will start rewatching Buffy, I loved it as a teenager but can't remember much about the plot for some reason.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 24/03/2021 21:38

This reminds me of a post I read recently where the OP wanted people to be jailed for their fantasies. Are you the same one?

Doyoumind · 24/03/2021 21:38

I liked the good in Spike anyway, not the bad.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 24/03/2021 21:36
  1. You talk about cliches and then frame everything as "evil" .
  1. You said evil so many times it lost all meaning.
  1. My friend fancies young Stalin. She's bonkers but not evil. Grin