Rape in private school - 170 testimonies

Its very telling imo that if I put a photo of my dog on sm I will get many immediate responses.
The bbc article about rape culture in schools that I posted first thing this morning has not been acknowledged by anyone.

All of them were overlooked at school in every way, except it seems by the boys who targeted them. Apart from the teachers in the subject they excelled in I doubt that any staff would recognise them or remember their names

In fairness to teachers. State school teachers in secondary schools teach big classes. I’ve had to learn 210 pupils names since September (new to the school). In September I’ll probably have to learn another 100 names.

Please don’t blame teachers for not remembering someone’s name. There’s a lot of names to remember.

I have a horrible feeling this will be “dealt with” by having one extra PSHE day. The worlds tiniest hammer trying to crack a boulder.
Massive culture change is needed.

I’ve been asking men I know who went to boys schools about assaults - the general consensus was that it was the teachers the kids worried about.

Imagine how much worse it's going to get when they force girls to share loos with boys.

Today's front page article from the Times

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/schools-cover-up-sexual-abuse-by-pupils-htqjjx05s?shareToken=141dcabe43946cd593df9fe696611a42

[quote seepingweeping]@toffeebutterpopcorn is that the man who was going to dentistry school? That case was horrendous. There was no justice for that little girl. [/quote]
Yea the prospective dentist... it sure if the ‘sentence’ was ever actually increased. There was another similar but I forget the facts. Who the hell would visit that dentist, let alone send their kids to him?

Seeing this on the news last night started a conversation with two of my daughters, both now in their early 20s. Both of them have experienced this, one to a greater extent than the other. Both have been significantly damaged by it. I knew nothing about the specifically sexual aspect of it at the time (and now feel awful about that.)

All 3 of my kids went to the same (OFSTED outstanding) state school and all of them hated it, though they were bright and motivated and hardworking. All of them came out, thankfully, with good GCSEs and went to university. All of them were overlooked at school in every way, except it seems by the boys who targeted them. Apart from the teachers in the subject they excelled in I doubt that any staff would recognise them or remember their names. The culture in the school, from the male HT down, celebrated laddish locker-room popularity where girls were the cheerleaders. My dds were totally anonymous because they were the kind of girls who kept their heads down, didn't make a fuss and just got on with things. They put it behind them and moved on.

But fucking hell, they want to make a fuss now. I just don't know where to start.

@toffeebutterpopcorn is that the man who was going to dentistry school? That case was horrendous. There was no justice for that little girl.

Good on Robert Halfon.

I wonder if Stella Creasy is watching and wondering how she can get involved and support a cross party initiative on this one.

I’m remembering a case in Scotland a year ago or so where a young man who had raped a little girl (and she was a small child) and walked away (with a fine of £80?) because it would damage his future if he was given a custodial sentence (so he was at school and planning to go to uni).

This is they society we have.

This makes me so angry. We all know this has been going on for years. Schools are now pretending to care about it, but if they'd cared, they'd have taken action earlier. Yet another story in the Times today about a young woman at a private school who was raped, but was treated as if she was the problem. Young man who raped her stayed at the school and ended up going to Cambridge.

Sexual harassment and abuse of girls was a problem when I was at school in the 70s. It's a problem in private schools and in state schools. No one gives a fuck. It's only now that this wonderful young woman has set up her website - in the wake of the Sarah Everard case - that the media are finally paying attention.

I wrote this on another thread too. It isn't just private, it's all schools.
Schools are mostly powerless against it, state or private.
We can't kick kids out with no 'evidence' (and as we know, her word against his doesnt count ). If the police can't convict people of sexual assault, how the hell are schools meant to?
We do PSHE and we talk about VAWG and respect and loving relationships and sexism. We do it all. But it does nothing against a tide of social media misogyny and whatever they are hearing at home. I can talk until I'm blue in the face, show them shocking stats and heartwrenching case studies and the boys who are the problem won't listen - because by the time they are 11 they have already been taught not to listen to female teachers.
If we tell the police more often than not they say 'deal with it in school'. Even if it happened out of school.
I have no idea what the answer is but schools 'doing more' is not, because we are already doing all we can. I've worked in state and private by the way.
It is slightly better in schools with female SLT, but even then we can't solve it.

Are they looking at the porn industry and popular culture? What about unis providing ‘toolkits’ for prostitution? Society is normalising ‘porn sex’- actually needing to create a law to say strangling/killing your partner during sex is a bad thing shows the extent of this.

When I look for Halloween costumes - what do I see? Sext schoolgirl outfits, sexy little bo peep/red riding hood - it’s terrible that this is how girls are viewed.

Robert Halfon, chair of the education select committee, has called for an independent inquiry to be launched into allegations of a "rape culture".
"After the police investigation, there should be an independent inquiry looking into all these allegations - what exactly has gone on, why it was allowed to take place and what the schools did to try and stop it," Mr Halfon wrote in the Sunday Telegraph.

Excellent start. Schools must have effective systems for dealing with this.
(Halfon was quoted in BBC link above) I don’t have link to Telegraph as its paywall
if you can send an email and follow it up with a phone call to your MPs’ office (even better!) here’s an action to take:

Don’t assume this inquiry will just happen because one MP has called for it or that the government interest will survive in this at all beyond the media interest.
Voter pressure is needed to gather a critical mass of MPs...if you think this inquiry is a good idea to highlight this problem and if you want actual anti-sexist, anti-Male violence against women and girls content taught in schools, (and it doesn’t matter if you dont know exactly what that should look like or include at this stage, I don’t, evidence for that can be explored as part of the inquiry..) please write to your MP to demand it.
Make sure you copy in Robert Halfon MP and Caroline Nokes MP (chair of women and Equalities select committee) to keep them interested in advocating for girls.
Find your MPs’ details here:
www.parliament.uk/get-involved/contact-an-mp-or-lord/contact-your-mp/

Now over 6000 testimonies from across all sectors

Do hope they finally decide that it's not a prank or childishness to be swept back under the carpet

Excellent
New helpline being launched, more coverage, more pressure on national authorities.
Everyone's Invited: School abuse claims could be the 'next national scandal
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-56558487

The girls at the private schools are just the tip of the iceberg I hope people realise this. The rape culture is alive and well in state secondary schools and sixth form colleges too.

Glad to see this is getting coverage in the media.

Now let's ask ourselves why increasing numbers of girls are desperate not to acknowledge their female bodies, and will do anything to become perceived as boys. @MondayYogurt

^this

National Education Union has a recent report on some themes about generalised sexist culture in schools. So when will we start joining the dots on all this? Not read the full thing but I think we can all guess what they found when they asked about this in schools..
neu.org.uk/advice/its-just-everywhere-sexism-schools

Met Lead on this says this is a ‘national’ issue
Absolutely. That’s a big step in the right direction.
Now back to the government to respond... and...?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-56549070

Met police investigating the online reports of sexual assault re London schools: www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-56545081

‘Allegations of sexual assault at London schools are being investigated by police, after being highlighted by an online campaign.
The website "Everyone's Invited" asked victims to post anonymous accounts of abuse they had suffered, and has now received more than 5,000 testimonies.
The Met Police said it has been "reviewing the content" of the site and contacted schools it could identify.
The testimonies include accounts from victims as young as nine.
The Met's lead for rape and sexual offences, Det Supt Mel Laremore, said: "It is deeply concerning to see the number of accounts published on this website, many of which appear to relate to previous or current experiences within educational settings in London and across the country.
"We take all allegations of sexual assault very seriously. We understand the complex and varied reasons why many victim-survivors do not contact law enforcement, but I want to personally reassure anyone who needs our help that we are absolutely here for you."
People who were abused years ago should still come forward and report the incidents, Det Supt Laremore said.’

Meanwhile at one of the London private schools highlighted, Highgate school has set up an internal inquiry after walkouts by the students and days of publicity: camdennewjournal.com/article/ex-appeal-court-judge-to-lead-review-into-highgate-school-rape-culture-claims

Hopefully other police forces outside London will also proactively put resources towards this issue and more schools will engage meaningfully too.

Also think social media companies bear some responsibility for allowing abusive content to be shared and not taken down and they should actively seek consequences for perpetrators, but nobody seems to want to go near that elephant in this room.