Why give child man' s surname

Took my husbands name and gave it to the dc as well as i wanted us all to have the same name. I also felt like it was a fresh start for me!

I took DHs name without thinking when we married. I'm a bit cross about that now, although I don't know what the alternative would be, they are all a bit crap - for me personally it was important for us all to have the same name, and double barrelling isn't ideal and only solves the problem for one generation. DH taking my name would have meant him losing his family link. Making up a new name is an option I guess, although it feels a bit like children cutting the last fragment of cake in half because neither can bear to let the other one have it.

I guess in some ways I'm relieved I didn't think harder at the time because if I had have done there is no way I would have quietly gone along with taking his name, but at the same time I don't know what would be better. I agree with the PPs who point out that if there is going to be a 'normal' approach then we've got it the wrong way round because in practice children are more likely to remain with their mother's in the event of a marriage breakdown.

One thing I've noticed in these threads though is how many women have terrible maiden names they can't wait to be shot of. Funny how these terrible names seem to always belong to the woman and not the man

It’s funny how many women say that they gave their child the father’s surname because they hate their own, but you almost never hear of the reverse happening.

My DD had her fathers surname (we married when she was 4 years old), as mine looks like a cat has walked across the keyboard. No way on Earth, was I inflicting that on my child.

I think we need to scrap surnames and have QR codes instead.
Most people are known by their given name and the surname just helps a bit with differentation on legal document and records.

I don't really like my surname but kept it after marriage (mainly for work reasons). We have a DS first and my surname is a bit weird for a boy (DB married into a country where children always get both so his DDs can choose which one to have; my DU wanted to change his to his DW on marriage but caved in to my DGF; no other fathers in the family in the last 40 years; one Dcousin won't have children due to a medical condition, so there's just one Dcousin left to decide whether to pass it on or not). I should have pushed harder with DD though.

I would describe myself as a strong feminist but I took my husband name. He did offer to take mine bless him but tbh I really hated it and couldn't wait to be rid. My married name is so much nicer 🤣🤣

I have a friend who invented a new surname, half hers and half his. That avoids double barreling but only works if the names sound ok bodged together.

I'm not married to my child's father. Been together since 1996.
I put his name as her surname and my surname as a middle name.
I found it hard at first at the doctors. They'd call her name and I'd ignore them ☺️as I didn't associate it with me.

I think boys should get dad's name and girls get mom's. I didn't do this because my "maiden" name is horrid, but I always thought it could be a way to go.

It's too late for me! My sons have my family name as a middle name. I changed because at the time it was the norm and I didn't think hard about the implications.

I think that all women should keep their name on marriage, children should have their mother's name, and the term 'maiden name' should be abolished. That's just my opinion though, people will do whatever they want.

I can't speak for others but I'm married, kept my own surname but when we had a child she got his surname because mine is bloody awful and I wouldn't have her suffer it. It's as simple as that really. I didn't feel as strongly about that as about keeping my name because she is descended from his family, I am not.
Don't know if, had I had a less awful surname, I might have felt differently.
Ironically, I have this surname because of my mum's feminist stance - they weren't married so she went double barrelled for me rather than give up her name.

The kids have his surname because I have a boring anglicised surname and he has a cool, unusual one! We are married but I kept my surname because, although it's boring, it works well with my first name and I just didn't fancy changing it.

DH has taken my surname as a middle name as of a few years ago and the kids would like that too - this reminds me, must do it for son, as he has a passport renewal coming up so we should get it done before then.

I think this is really hard. I've got 2 children and am not married to their father although we've been together 20 years. They have his surname - I just did it without thinking. I would have loved to give them my surname as a middle name, but just didn't think of it to be honest. It didn't seem important at the time. I've told him that if we marry I will not change my name - but he's welcome to change his to mine. He scoffed at that idea. It IS horribly sexist and unfair but I'm not sure what the solution is, because it's equally unfair if they take the mothers' surname surely.