Discussions about porn

TwinTub those words have always been around though.

Frigid was the one when I was at school.

It's really depressing when you hear women saying that stuff.

With younger people it's really difficult.

Both boys and girls are generally pretty in interested in finding out about this topic when they hit a certain age. They are curious. They want info. They hear things mentioned etc and want to find out what it is. That's normal.

Experimentation when you're young is also normal. Both boys and girls like to try whatever.

The issue has always been that in het sex the female stuff is much more potentially painful, risky. Pregnancy, injury. And the possibility of force.

While boys have always had a list of stuff to try. And are prone to going on and on and on. Coaxing, coercion, pleading, threats etc.

In my day the checklist was less extreme and boys also saw the girl enjoying it as a badge of honour.

Now the list is very long and includes extreme stuff and female sexual pleasure seems to be pretty much off the table.

The push back against stuff like child settings active on everything unless you call and get them switched off was telling. Such a trivial thing that would help a bit but apparently it was an attack on freedom and whatnot. Depressing.

I said some graphic things upthread as well.

It's difficult because a lot of people esp women and with both esp ones over a certain age have no idea what the standard mainstream content is. But equally wouldn't want to upset anyone etc is

Yes I said that too the language is destructive. Sorry for the graphic ref felt it was relevant to describe the porn I don’t agree with. I don’t think anyone is a prude I hate that word it implies there is something wrong about not agreeing with certain sexual stuff which is nonsense.

Don't defend yourself for reacting to mention of fisting!

Of course you aren't a prude.

TwinTub true - holes.

But I don't think that's it. As a PP pointed out it's words like destroyed, ruined, X type of 'girl' 'takes' xyz.

It's not just about objectifying it's about. Pushing boundaries. Pain.

That's something else.

We already talked about women's fantasies upthread I don't think it's relevant to rehash it unless there are fresh points.

I know what fisting is, thanks. I was just taken aback by your graphic post. I now feel the need to defend myself as not a prude etc but I feel that exemplifies the problem here. I think there's a genuine disconnect between what most women might want from sexual relationships and what men increasingly want, thanks to porn.

Christ don't Google it!

'But if you can understand why some women watch it then surely you can understand that they might protest when told they shouldn't be allowed to? '

The threads which draw women to defend porn very strongly are not usually saying should we ban it.

They are usually on relationships board and have OPs whose partners like it, what other women's views are. Often they say they don't like it (for a variety of reasons).

Nothing to do with banning it.

If you look at relationships board you will find plenty.

*to recepitcals

To me most porn seems to dehumanise woman Recepiticals. Of course there is light porn And I’m not against porn but this freely available more aggressive form is kind of being normalised as it’s so accessible to all ages.

@TheRabbitOfCaerbannog you might have to google it...

fisting

?!?

Strangely enough, I read an article (dmittedly years ago) that said that the most common female fantasy is 'to be dominated' and the most common male one is 'to please a woman sexually'.

Seriously?! What article, in which publication, when and how long ago? It really doesn't make sense in light of stories like this one:

"A man asked if he could ‘slap’ and ‘spit on me’ – we need to stop normalising sexual violence against women"

www.independent.co.uk/voices/sexual-violence-choking-dating-apps-consent-b1790669.html

I think some woman do like the dominance fantasy but probably
More on a manly
Throw you on the bed kind of way rather than destroying your bum or fisting etc etc

If you don't mind me asking, do you watch porn JohannaC? How does it sit with you?

So all that violent content out there on pornhub.cum including "taxi driver destroys a barely legal teen's areshole

For me it’s the language it’s always that kind of violent dominance and humiliation. I’ve really changed my mind about porn because of the language and the breadth of content that in the main is woman being dominated.

Please unlurk vanguard :)

I totally agree with your post.

I do think it's a separate conversation though.

That comment was in response to an idea that 'Western decadence' was the reason for this appetite for porn that features (in the mainstream) male sexual domination and debasement of women.

My point was that we have seen these preferences explicitly across the world in times of conflict and also the situation when men effectively 'own' women what they are subjected to in their homes is generally hidden.

I get the sense that sexual domination of women is not a result of porn but giving a lot of men what they want.

I think that would be interesting to explore.

Anyway... sorry to derail... back to lurking.

Like, war rape may not be that dissimilar from vanilla sex except for it being forced, as opposed to fetish sex

For fuck's sake, you really have some reading to do if you equate war rape with vanilla sex. My grandmother and her daughter (my aunt) were both brutally raped during WW2. War rape is a violent assault, usually resulting in the murder of the victim. I suggest you read what the FRAHP death squad did to female Aristide supporters (and their children) in Haiti. Read the poetry of Warsan Shire. Read A Terrible Revenge by Alfred-Maurice de Zayas.

The ones who are selfish as you mentioned don't agree or disagree probably. Most I expect don't really think about it. Like most non vegetarians don't think about the meat industry, that sort of thing.