Women only gym. Am I being a killjoy?

My mother is 80 and for the past 20 years (obvs not including lockdown closures) one of her few activities outside her home has been attending a women only gym. She is a capable woman who worked as a nurse for 40 years and had 4 children but I know for a fact that she would no longer go to the gym if there was a chance that men would be there. Women are perfectly entitled to have spaces which do not include men, this does not make us "weak" and we do not have to justify it

Doh. GRC

Agree OP.

And to clarify in terms of the Equalities Act surely a service can't be offered to a trans woman without a HRC and not a man?

I think fighting the patriarchy does not have to include in the one bit of downtime you get. I've never had a problem in the gym (being of an invisible age to most men) but my younger self would have been more embarrassed. Mind you I'd be embarrassed around the women too.
We all know if this gym came out and said it wasn't open to transwomen they would face a tremendous online backlash.

Why don't they just be honest and as their marketing tripe just put
Hey ladies, we are a pair of misogynistic mid 20s men, with no idea about women and quite frankly we don't care. We just want your money, so be good little girls and hand over your cash to us so we can line our pockets whilst not actually giving you any of the things that make a women's only gym a great success. Oh and just so you know men of our chosing will also be admitted to the women's only space we are advertising. So put on your scolds bridle and head on down to mama fit.
No opinion needed as well just shout you down and tell you to shut up anyway

DaisiesandButtercups applaud

The selling point for a women-only gym is that there wouldn't be males there. If in fact, there is, it's a mixed sex space. More than that, it's a space promoting itself for vulnerable women, exactly the kind of space a predatory man would love to be.

So no, no thank you. I won't be joining.

I don’t think that the two things (being a strong woman and spending time in single sex spaces) are mutually exclusive. No one should be forced to be strong 100% of the time, sometimes it is necessary or pleasant to step back from the fray and let down your guard. Sometimes a woman just wants to exercise in peace.

I prefer not to make my feminism about adding extra pressures on women who are often already overburdened. “Be strong, not weak” sounds rather demanding to me. Not to mention not all women wanting single sex spaces for exercise and leisure will be or consider themselves feminists. Anyway I think feminism is about liberation for all women, not only the ones who “deserve it” by being “strong enough”.

A woman only gym wouldn't be my cup of tea. I have had far more problems with women being bitc*y than men. (Mainly in bigger gyms where there are cliques. I lift weights and have very few issues going into the mainly male dominated weights section. I would rather we build women up so they feel comfortable using all parts of the gym.

I love my women only gym. It is all strength and conditioning.
Yes, the trainers are Male but we do completely different exercises and training methods to my husband, who is in an all.male strength and conditioning gym

Yes, I agree daisies. But, in the end, I believe that women have to empower themselves and not resort to retreating into women-only spaces. Obviously, I'm not talking about refuges, prisons etc.

Feminism is about being strong, not weak.

That is great MaMaLa321 there are very many mixed sex gyms, wouldn’t it be lovely if there were equally enough women only gyms for those who would prefer them?

You are fortunate indeed that you have never been bothered by a man.

I wouldn't want a women-only gym tbf. Confining myself in a single sex ghetto is retrogressive. If I was bothered by a man (and I never have been) I would complain, loudly. THAT is what Feminism is.

Legally, they're on dodgy ground, I think. Under the Equality Act there are certain exemptions where you are allowed to provide a service for one sex only. However, those exemptions do not allow you to provide for one gender only. In other words, offering a gym that is open only to women and trans women (but not to men) is in breach of the Equality Act.

NB IANAL so someone with the requisite legal knowledge might want to comment.

Aside from that, yes, it sounds shit. Anything with the word Mama in it should be avoided like the plague. And obviously there will be a rush to join from men who get a sexual kick from sharing a changing room with women, especially if the women are clearly uncomfortable with it.

Actually I used to belong to a Crossfit gym that was run by 2 young lads & they were excellent. It could be a bit bro if a lot of the rugby guys were in but in terms of support, they were fab. It didn't appeal to meatheads flexing, so was comfortable.

That said, Mamas! I wouldn't feel wanted there, as I'd assume it for mums-only.

Many years ago I worked in a 'ladies only' gym, I was student and needed the cash. It was horrible. Mostly middle aged (my age now) ladies whose husbands would pay the membership so they could be thin again. It was/is a very non diverse city so nothing to do with religions / cultural beliefs. Just men wanting their women to be thin. Left a nasty taste in my mouth but I was found and needs the job.

Just to be clear as I forgot to say in my post

YANBK OP.

I agree with you that the name is rubbish unless it genuinely was specifically aimed at antenatal/postnatal fitness or providing childcare or a child friendly space to help mothers get exercise.

It is unlikely that men will understand what women need and want from the gym.

I don’t think that you are being a grouch about it.

I totally agree with you OP especially on your first point. I felt the same way when I found out the "she codes" courses were run by a man. The idea of a man profiting off the fact that men have excluded women from careers in web development really pissed me off. No no no, you don't get to solve a problem you created and then send us the bill for it!

I used to go to a women only crossfit gym and it was brilliant. Target market was women 30+. Owned and ran by a woman, the female trainers were great at modifying things for injuries/postpartum/fitness levels. Very supportive and had a creche for a couple of sessions. The vibe was more pro female community, rather than being anti men. So it can be great, but I wouldn't like it if run by men and named something stupid or patronising.

I would love women only gym and pool, it would be so relaxing and liberating. I am happy of course that men should also have their own exclusive spaces for exercise and leisure. It is a shame that this venture misses the mark. It would need to be sex based and run by women for women in my opinion to meet the needs of the intended clientele.

Regarding men’s exclusive spaces, when they end up being the main places where business is done and political decisions are made, that is when women need access. We need a seat at the table and transparent processes rather than back room deals.

You are not being a killjoy. (YANBK) The situation is being a major killjoy.