Can we have a thread about men who DO get this?

My amazing wife introduced me to trans-ideology a few years ago, and I've been attempting to learn as much about it as possible ever since. The level of dishonesty, faux-victimhood and a sinister intentions I've discovered is vast. It's an incredibly sad arena. I count myself as a proud GC male, backer of rationality and general Twitter-argue'er.

I think I've quoted the wronf message again, its age you see....

@JorisBonson

DH gets it. He's a fairly sensitive soul who had always had a touch of feminism in him, pushed forward by me .

He's not an FHM lads lad, and firmly believes in equality. He's fab and has been very upset about the last few days events.

Maybe thats why we have never seen a trans woman qualify for GB or any other country since 2004 maybe? Because most trans women who are athletes where also athletes beofre they transitioned yet none have broken through. Why is that?

If you husband means at something like croquet or bowls I apologise.

MrMenno

Also a downside to having a disability is the in grained prejudice and discrimination against us. A different form to the sexist discrimination I know but having experienced this so much has given me a unique insight into discrimination in general

As I have done so badly under the "patriarchy" then this has contributed to me becoming a feminist who wants things to change so much. My main problem is as a man there's very few of us who want things to change, no doubt because once you have power you are very unwilling to let it go again, just look at dictatorships across the world and how they are desperate to stay at the top no matter what

Posted several comments here on this youtube link

Vast majority of comments on there are misogynistic and as a man they infuriate me so much seeing them. Many are using the fact the comments section has been left on as an excuse to insult others on there, especially the baroness and any women on there who are pro feminism

Have personally posted comments that are in defence of these women and have received plenty of insulting messages directed straight at me for doing so, examples include:

I am getting called a sexist
I am called misandrist by some commenting on there
I have been called deluded
One told me to stop sticking my head in the sand and to address the facts
One called me a feminazi who's pushing my sexist agenda
The most recent one told me to get a life

I am so shocked at how other men on there are treating me just because I want to side with the women on there. Very few have commented on there but most who have are feminists and the ones I supported and backed up have appreciated it very much

This is one of the reasons I came to Mumsnet so I could discuss the issues without getting insulting misogynistic comments hurled at me for not taking the "Usual" man view

Maybe get your own house in order, jj

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4013710-The-Dark-Side-of-Some-of-Those-Supporting-Self-ID

Paul Embery seems to get it.

twitter.com/PaulEmbery

I first noticed him when the story came out about women in the fire service no longer being allowed to have single sex changing areas. Since then he's often re-tweeted issues discussed on MN's feminism board, and today has retweeted the FPFW news about the ONS.

It's not trying to cancel people to point out that men with a history of misogynist views probably don't 'get it', unless 'getting it' simply means objecting to trans rights.

I don't think any man gets it because it doesn't directly impact their lives. If they understand it AND take direct action to influence other men I'd have some faith in them, but not if they are just intellectualising.

James Dreyfus wrote something that empathises with men? Oh no! Disown him now!

Trying to 'cancel' people this way is a tactic that shouldn't be used by anyone over the age of 25, tbh.

Yes James Dreyfus is lovely.

This James Dreyfus (attached)? Lovely is not a word that springs to mind.

Hugo Rifkind

Who wrote this?

Nothing wrong with being a pick up artist
Hugo Rifkind Julien Blanc may have given them a bad name but the need for gurus like him shows how downtrodden many men feel

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/nothing-wrong-with-being-a-pick-up-artist-8mw0kqf658z

WingsoverScotland - the man has repeatedly jumped to the defence of men accused of abusing women: www.betternation.org/2014/06/yes-together-robin-mcalpine-wings-over-scotland-and-the-progressive-whitewashing-of-misogyny/

Ricky Gervais

An LFN member attended a humanist event just before Christmas 2008 (newhumanist.org.uk/1917). Ricky Gervais was one of the acts and told ‘jokes’ about an 8 year old girl being sexually abused; first by a stranger, then by her father. He also ‘joked’ about raping an elderly lady, saying that it was ok because he didn’t kill her – he just raped her.

John Cleese, here blaming his problems with women on his mother and joking about having her and one of his former wives killed:

Do these men 'get it'? Or do they just hate trans people so their misogyny gets a free pass?

I was going to add Nazir Afzal (former Crown Prosecutor for the NW), and now he's helpfully contributed to a conversation alongside several other men who 'get it.'

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/mar/17/the-time-for-men-to-step-up-is-right-now-what-all-men-can-do-to-help-end-violence-against-women?CMP=ShareiOSAppp_Other

My DH doesn’t get it because he doesn’t understand why men are sexist etc. He’s the same with racism. It doesn’t make sense to him (nor me really but I experience sexism). He has autism. He was ostracised at university for not walking a girl back to their halls after an event. It didn’t occur to him he needed to and she didn’t ask. Although I do walk in the dark alone, I’m just wary when I do. And there’s probably a class element to this, I’m working class and more streetwise but also don’t pay for taxis when I should.

DH would also find it really hard to challenge sexism or men talking about women badly. He just sees women as equal and some people are dicks. While he doesn’t get it he is a good guy.

My daughters father is a green voter. He does get it a bit and has always been protective of women but he’s not looking into the twaw deeply because why would he? No skin in the game. I’m curious as to his response to the recent Green Party women’s chair news.

My husband was sexually abused several times as a child by priests. He told his mother but she didn’t believe him. However as he grew up he compartmentalised his abuse and had very distant relationships with women. He spent a lot of time talking to women online in his previous relationships as a way to cope with undiagnosed PTSD - he was avoiding intimacy with the significant women in his life but also feeling a sense of power and entitlement over women on these chat forums. He couldn’t cope anymore after his second long term relationship broke up and he got therapy.

I met him as a survivor of rape myself - he listened very thoughtfully to my experience and did a lot to make me feel safe. He lost a job a few weeks into the relationship and had a nervous breakdown during which all this dreadful history of his came out. He’s had therapy since and worked really hard on himself. His attitude towards women has done a u turn - he has daughters and he’s very vocal and committed to their safety. His psychiatrist told him that the talking to other women was like a confessional - he never made an attempt to meet these other women, it was a secret - like his abuse had been kept secret.

He is now deeply ashamed of how he has regarded women for many years and said recently that the rift that had started with his abuse and mother had culminated in not being able to trust anyone - but also not being trustworthy in himself in the past. He has deep regrets. He works through his PTSD and he is very much supportive of me through all of this very complicated stuff that we both go through. He now calls out porn culture very vocally to other men - he says meeting another rape survivor broke open his compassion and it’s been a long healing process. I’m saying the is because I think that damaged men are also capable of turning around and finally seeing the humanity in others which leads to the healing of the humanity in themselves.

I find this a really hard question to be honest. I would say my exH gets it, because everything he openly says and does suggests he gets it. But then we split up because he was emotionally and sexually abusive in a very covert way, used a shed ton of porn and spent money on cam girls. So he could talk the talk but didn't walk the walk.

I think all men can get it intellectually but choose to opt out in certain circumstances and so I'm not sure how much help they actually are. Depressing.

My partner pretty much gets it. Even says things to other men when they're being jerks. And tries to support women when they're having issues with some misogynist garbage.

But I remember the high and far off times when he only got some of the stuff sometimes. And I remember talking his ear off to get him to see it, until he finally said, "Yes, but if I admit it's all true, then the world is awful and there's nothing I can do about it."

At which point all I had to say was, "All you have to do is see it. Imagine living it."

So it happens if they care enough. Even with the ones who try not to get it, at first.

@Emanchego

Does Another Angry Voice 'get it' I've seen him go after women who even vaguely mention anything pro women/GC in the comments often. He's really quite nasty with women at times, along with his sniggering woke army, he'll even make false statements about whoever he's berating.

..... oh!

Thanks for this now following

Do tell, @DisgustedofManchester. Has he threatened to 'choke them with his man dick'? Because that's the control group in this little experiment.