Jack Monroe

The repeated inaction of the police leads such men to feel invulnerable and leads to escalation as they push to see how much more they can get away with. If low level sexual crimes were taken seriously and stamped down on, it would go a long way.

omg Guru I'm so sorry you're going
through such a nightmare.

I will be wishing something awful happens to that disgusting man.

Jesus. That’s a horrific read. And has obviously gone on for years and years. Poor Jack.

What an awful thread, poor Jack

Should we all just report every micro aggression? I will from now on

It’s very tempting. I think the reason we don’t is that by the time we understand and are brave enough to report we’ve already experienced so much and I honestly think we’re inured to it: why would we report the idiot touching our leg at a work dinner, when we have already suffered a decade of catcalling, lewd comments, unsolicited gropes and that’s just if we’re lucky, when we know the odds are stacked against us and the consequences likely more serious for us than them.

The first time a man masturbated in front of me I was 7. I didn’t even understand what he was going until years later. If the first time I’d experienced sex based harassment or violence was 27, my response would have been totally different but by the time we’re old enough to rationalise and understand we’re worn down and fed up.

Corvus 💐💐💐

The cumulative effect...
The can't be bothered of the police.
I hope Cressida Dick publicly steps up now and says this is a long-term priority.
So glad Jack had at least a few good people in her life.

What a harrowing read.

That poor woman.

And yes the police have enormous form for not giving a shit and nothing ever happens to change that.

All those women who had reported DV were murdered. Police oh dear whoops soz. Lessons learned. Yeah right.

Guru, I'm so sorry.

Fuck. Ing. Hell.

I've had an awful week, which has culminated in a sudden unexpected attack by my vile ex (you know how in cheesy horror movies there's a final jump scare when the killer suddenly turns out NOT to be dead & the heroine has to kill him AGAIN? Like that.)

I'm just so fucking over men & their shit. Poor Jack

I believe her. ♥️and 💐 for Jack.

I honestly can't take any more of this, that's fucking broken me just reading it, imagine living through it. Third time I've cried today already and in between I'm just so angry, not sure which is worse.

@Gurufloof I am so sorry to read your story. What a life to have to live under that weight of fear. How awful that you have to go to extreme lengths to stay clear of him and never feel like you are safe. How awful that you cannot tell people because it won't help. I wish you peace and I know that doesn't make it so.

I cried reading Jack's story.

Christ, poor woman. for Jack. Absolutely horrific.

No fucking words. What a terrible thing.

That's is a horrible story and I believe every single word of it.

Brave words from a survivor. I'm so so sorry the police didn't lock him away the first time.

It also shows why most women and girls don't even bother reporting incidents to the police when it's met with such indifference.
Men do anything to excuse male behaviour.

That bloody story of a man let off prison after attacking a woman in case he lost his job ffs. Tough shit. The usual bullshit 'out of character'. Like when murderers, 'wouldn't hurt a fly'.

It sounds as though the perpetrator’s knowledge that the police won’t/can’t do anything becomes part of the abuse.

@CardinalLolzy. Yes, I agree that this subject is best discussed by staying on the substantive matter; without veering into background noise about feminine appearances etc. People includes women and men, of course.

Maybe wider issues would be better addressed in a discussion thread. Op hadn't stated this was more a book of sympathy; which is fine too. Just the op hadn't stated that. Although I see some posters here are widening into discussion about this problem being more prevalent.

I find it chilling that this man was free to stalk her over such a long period .One hopes this is an isolated case ,but who knows

Of course it's not isolated, I moved loads of times to get well away from my stalker. People actually asked me why I moved so much and even when I told them, my stalker has found me they just shrugged and said oh yeah, him. No one gave a shit then, and worst of all I've seen him recently and am now moving again. I've been lucky with probably 12 years without him, but now he's moved to my area and christ I'm terrified.

Police as we know wont do a thing because nothing he does is actually illegal and he knows how to scare me without laying a finger on me.
I too changed names which is how I've been free of him so long, but it's a matter of time til he sees me and gets my new name and then it starts again. I dont want to change my name again I dont want to move I love this street, but its better to do that than be terrified again and as we know it will escalate and he may well kill me.

Anyone who has gone to the trouble of changing their name is not going to tell anyone because that defeats the point. We also dont tell many people we have a stalker, because that also puts them in danger.

See how its hidden ?

cailleach Jack's tweet says:
"And excuse the shit out of me if I don't care for people telling me I'm a 'disgrace to women' for wanting to look less feminine. For wanting to try to opt out of another twenty years of this. It's complicated. But it's my story and it's my ending to write. Nobody else's."

1- she says it's "people" that have told her that, so to interpret that as "scolding women" or "lambasting" women, as you put it, is entirely incorrect imo.

2- she's put it as, presumably, a pre-emptive statement that her appearance or assumed position on anything else shouldn't detract from her story. Which it shouldn't. She should be able to tell this story without it derailing into views on Jack as a person or her perceived femininity, whatever that is. She gets this very often when she tweets so it's hardly surprising she'd anticipate it and try to head it off. But clearly some still want to look for a reason to criticise or doubt.

I don't think i have anything else to say that wouldn't add to the distraction from the actual subject of the Twitter thread, so I'm leaving it there.

However, do women really say other women are a disgrace for wanting to 'look less feminine'. Nobody has ever said that to me; ever. However, I may have been lucky with my background, family, OH and friends.

Probably not in exactly those words, but surely most of us have heard "She'd be really pretty if she'd only take a bit more care of herself/wear a bit of make up/put on a nice dress." And "butch" isn't usually employed as a compliment either. Although "that looks a bit more feminine" is.

Poor Jack. That sounds horrific. And utterly unrelenting.

That story about the sentencing too. As if it being an opportunistic crime in some way excused it!

God, it's all just never-ending. So much you couldn't even begin to list it all. And when you try to mention it, just to be hit with namalt and disbelief and not even an attempt to see.

So many women will always say they feel tired, often without any really apparent reason. I'm one of them. But is it any wonder?

As I have never heard another woman questioning someone for wanting to look less feminine, never mind lambasting them for it, I am certainly interested if it is a common thing

I don't engage with the sort of media where this happens, but in a culture where every tiny aspect of a woman's appearance is considered fair game to be picked over and criticised, I can easily believe that Jack gets a lot of grief over her appearance