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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The cognitive dissonance from 'TWAW' women

342 replies

CheeryTreeBlossom · 10/03/2021 23:45

I've seen a few things today on social media which got me thinking: How do "liberal" feminists square up the argument that being a women is a feeling vs the experience we all know?

  1. The awful disappearance of Sarah Everard has led to an outpouring on twitter of women highlighting how they are essentially bound by a curfew all the time (and not just when the police "helpfully suggest" it) and feel the fear of being followed/harassed/assaulted by men in public constantly.

  2. Kamala Harris posted a video on Instagram about the 2.5million women how have left the workforce in the US (similar stats on Guardian about the UK) and it's driven by women being in lower paid work and not having access to childcare when schools close.

  3. This scene from Fleabag appeared on my Facebook feed where Kristin Scott Thomas gives a powerful speech about how women are constantly affected by their bodies through the start of menstruation to menopause. Lots of positive articles from the time it aired:
    www.refinery29.com/en-gb/fleabag-season-2-episode-3

And yet these same women would call others bigots for saying biology matters and instead that feelings are more important to being a woman than anything else?
That to dislike finding myself in an enclosed public space with someone visibly male is phobic, and that our reproductively system has a huge impact in our lives and why women are still discriminated against?

Argh. I'm just sick of being the only one in my friends group that seems to see the hypocrisy.
They say JKR is a nasty transphobe but equally complain about the patriarchy and how childcare costs put women put of work Hmm

OP posts:
Xpectations · 12/03/2021 22:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArabellaScott · 12/03/2021 22:33

These are women who absolutely say "fuck the patriarchy" and "men need to get their house in order, women live with constant harassment and threat of assault" but then applaud "cervix-havers", "pregnant people" and think women wanting single sex spaces to not including males, regardless of identity, are weaponising their abuse ... I don't understand the aggressiveness with which they denounce anyone who has concerns, as if it is literal violence, because it isn't.

OP, cognitive dissonance uses a lot of mental bandwidth. It's very uncomfortable to live with. Someone trying to defend the indefensible gets ... well, defensive. They attack the messenger. Hence getting furious with anyone that points out simple facts like 'males aren't females'. They can't argue the point, they can only rage and fling insults. It plays out so often.

334bu · 12/03/2021 22:29

but that transwomen were brought up and socialised as boys/men and therefore have developed male patterns of behaviour.

Could be but it is a pattern shared throughout the world. Probably a mixture of both nature and nurture. Still a really whopping difference between male behaviours and female behaviours though.

ValancyRedfern · 12/03/2021 22:24

I think the fact transwomen share the same crime profile as men doesn't necessarily show male crime is biological in origin, but that transwomen were brought up and socialised as boys/men and therefore have developed male patterns of behaviour.

334bu · 12/03/2021 22:02

So if someone is living as a transwoman , their patterns of crime are surely more likely to mirror women's than men's.
I'm disputing the fact that tendency to crime is biological.

Unfortunately according to all crime statistics transwomen share male patterns of criminality
Transwomen's tendency to crime does therefore appear to be biological. Transwomen are male and commit the same types of crimes as other men and with the same frequency.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 12/03/2021 21:33

It’s not just NAMALT, it’s No T are like that

IMO they are so very aggressive and la la la I can't hear you in these arguments as they are basically terrified of no longer being able to live with their cognitive dissonance because your arguments make it unravel, and being forced to be an unwoke pariah with you and your unpopular friends.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 12/03/2021 21:28

These are women who absolutely say "fuck the patriarchy" and "men need to get their house in order, women live with constant harassment and threat of assault"
but then applaud "cervix-havers","pregnant people" and think women wanting single sex spaces to not including males, regardless of identity, are weaponising their abuse.
It really is the hypocrisy that grinds.

Yes, I completely agree. It's batshit. They will actually denounce victim blaming and not believing victims but if you say that you want women only spaces because you are threatened by all males including MTF trans people due to a traumatic experience of male violence you are "weaponising", and they'll nod along to huge misogynists like Owen Jones who say this.

ChakaDakotaRegina · 12/03/2021 21:16

I agree OP. The aggressiveness of which they denounce anyone with concerns is baffling

It’s not even the perma- offended crowd, it’s rational people. People who would defend the right of religious groups to not hold same sex weddings but can’t listen to concerns on this. Institutional capture.

RootyT00t · 12/03/2021 21:12

@bourbonne

"So if someone is living as a transwoman , their patterns of crime are surely more likely to mirror women's than men's."

Read again. As has been said a thousand times. What you think is "surely" true, is in fact false. There is no point having a discussion about what we each assume hypothetical TWs would "surely" do or not do. If you dispute the data, then dispute it with data.

I'm disputing the fact that tendency to crime is biological.
ChakaDakotaRegina · 12/03/2021 21:03

@Ereshkigalangcleg

The point is not so much that, as a woman, I am afraid of being assaulted by men. The point is that I am much more afraid of being assaulted by a man than I am a woman, and the evidence tells me I'm right to think that way. As a woman, it's (some) men that are a threat to me statistically, not women. When I am vulnerable e.g. I am in a state of undress, I am sleeping, I want to be in a single sex space.

Yes exactly. And the women who parrot TWAW but are tweeting about male violence in the last few days also feel like this. Which is why it's striking that they call us bigots for not exempting a small group of males from this just on their say so.

It’s not just NAMALT, it’s No T are like that

Theyre acknowledging the male violence issue and bringing males into women’s categories but also sending (often young and vulnerable) females into men’s. It’s the encouragement of youngsters into men’s spaces that seems to be so thoroughly overlooked.

bourbonne · 12/03/2021 21:02

And sorry, I don't want the thread to derail. It's about cognitive dissonance, and I'm wasting space probing a separate phenomenon, denial.

bourbonne · 12/03/2021 21:01

"So if someone is living as a transwoman , their patterns of crime are surely more likely to mirror women's than men's."

Read again. As has been said a thousand times. What you think is "surely" true, is in fact false. There is no point having a discussion about what we each assume hypothetical TWs would "surely" do or not do. If you dispute the data, then dispute it with data.

RootyT00t · 12/03/2021 20:56

No.

That crime is largely a societal construct as opposed to a biological one.

So if someone is living as a transwoman , their patterns of crime are surely more likely to mirror women's than men's.

And yes, I'm aware there are rapist transwomen in prison. We can't not bloody know about that, because every discussion is pinned on them.

Back to the point of the thread though. I don't understand how someone can believe that TWAW but also give it the big guns about males. I don't understand how the two theories are remotely compatible.

ValancyRedfern · 12/03/2021 20:56

Just went to the link for my local vigil and it states 'the word woman refers to anyone who identifies as such'. I was going to go but I guess they don't care about my safety as I don't 'identify as such'. Fuck this shit.

bourbonne · 12/03/2021 20:53

@RootyT00t

Hang on. If they are just as likely to commit a crime as anyone else, can't we just equate them to women?

Looking at reasons and motivations for crime, are any of them biological?

Oh my God. They are just as likely to commit a crime as men in general. And the crimes they commit are the same sort committed by men in general. People have pointed this out on So Many Threads. Men and women have vastly different criminal profiles. What are you getting at? That we haven't found the "rape gene" yet?
RootyT00t · 12/03/2021 20:52

@CheeryTreeBlossom

I started the thread because yes I want to understand the logic. I want to be able to discuss this rationally with my friends without them denouncing me as a bigot and destroying our friendship. I would love for the penny to drop, but if not I want us to be able to respect one another regardless.

These are women who absolutely say "fuck the patriarchy" and "men need to get their house in order, women live with constant harassment and threat of assault"
but then applaud "cervix-havers", "pregnant people" and think women wanting single sex spaces to not including males, regardless of identity, are weaponising their abuse.
It really is the hypocrisy that grinds.

I have mulled upon it the last few months of lockdown and can understand the be kind mentality, as on sm they follow tw like Monroe, Juno, Paris who have done a lot to try and pass. They maybe don't see as much the Alex Drummond/Pippa bunces of the movement.
However I don't understand the aggressiveness with which they denounce anyone who has concerns, as if it is literal violence, because it isn't.

If this is what you're referring to @Ereshkigalangcleg, then no I don't understand how you can think both.
CheeryTreeBlossom · 12/03/2021 20:51

I started the thread because yes I want to understand the logic. I want to be able to discuss this rationally with my friends without them denouncing me as a bigot and destroying our friendship. I would love for the penny to drop, but if not I want us to be able to respect one another regardless.

These are women who absolutely say "fuck the patriarchy" and "men need to get their house in order, women live with constant harassment and threat of assault"
but then applaud "cervix-havers", "pregnant people" and think women wanting single sex spaces to not including males, regardless of identity, are weaponising their abuse.
It really is the hypocrisy that grinds.

I have mulled upon it the last few months of lockdown and can understand the be kind mentality, as on sm they follow tw like Monroe, Juno, Paris who have done a lot to try and pass. They maybe don't see as much the Alex Drummond/Pippa bunces of the movement.
However I don't understand the aggressiveness with which they denounce anyone who has concerns, as if it is literal violence, because it isn't.

OP posts:
RootyT00t · 12/03/2021 20:51

@goodwolf

Violence against women is the central issue here. Violence against TWs is another issue, not unimportant, just not what this thread is about.
How many of these men who attack in broad daylight do you think wait to see if it's a trans or biological woman?
goodwolf · 12/03/2021 20:49

Violence against women is the central issue here. Violence against TWs is another issue, not unimportant, just not what this thread is about.

RootyT00t · 12/03/2021 20:49

Hang on. If they are just as likely to commit a crime as anyone else, can't we just equate them to women?

Looking at reasons and motivations for crime, are any of them biological?

SirVixofVixHall · 12/03/2021 20:45

@Gerla

which to be clear, IMO, is predatory men taking advantage of relaxed safeguarding I see this opinion expressed a lot and I find it troubling. I don't think TW are predators but I do think they are human and just as likely to commit a crime as anyone else! It seems that we are always having to pit them in a separate category that can't be criticized. I don't think that helps anyone.
I agree with this. I see it all the time in real life and also here in FWR . “Genuine” and “fake” trans, as though the former category never commits a crime.
RootyT00t · 12/03/2021 20:44

@Ereshkigalangcleg

In other words, as is usual practice, can we have an echo chamber.

No, can we focus on the actual topic of the thread. Do you have anything to contribute in a more general sense? Why do you think this cognitive dissonance exists?

Because it is possible to believe that TWAW but also be appalled by male violence?
Ereshkigalangcleg · 12/03/2021 20:41

In other words, as is usual practice, can we have an echo chamber.

No, can we focus on the actual topic of the thread. Do you have anything to contribute in a more general sense? Why do you think this cognitive dissonance exists?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 12/03/2021 20:38

The point is not so much that, as a woman, I am afraid of being assaulted by men. The point is that I am much more afraid of being assaulted by a man than I am a woman, and the evidence tells me I'm right to think that way. As a woman, it's (some) men that are a threat to me statistically, not women. When I am vulnerable e.g. I am in a state of undress, I am sleeping, I want to be in a single sex space.

Yes exactly. And the women who parrot TWAW but are tweeting about male violence in the last few days also feel like this. Which is why it's striking that they call us bigots for not exempting a small group of males from this just on their say so.

RootyT00t · 12/03/2021 20:35

@Ereshkigalangcleg

But we can't win here , Eresh. You are asking us to give up our beliefs on TWAW because we don't agree with the way women are treated and that isn't fair.

You're not one of the women in the OP, you are not calling out men and campaigning against MVAWG. You are an "equalist", who says WATM to everything women say about male privilege and male violence, and I wouldn't call your beliefs feminist.

This is specifically about women who have cognitive dissonance between their perception of reality for female people as an oppressed class and the TWAW mantra they mouth.

There are lots of other threads where your own TWAW thoughts are relevant. This is quite a specific phenomenon under discussion and the thread is being derailed to centre on your views. Can I ask that you don't, please? If we are going to respect each other?

In other words, as is usual practice, can we have an echo chamber.

No problem.

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