I've got my paper census - remind me what I do?

It's not bigoted to believe that women aren't gender stereotypes. And no, it doesn't make us the bad guys either.

That's a very good point and is one of my main concerns.
There will a lot of people answering the gender question assuming it's a polite word for sex and not really understanding what gender identity is.
If you asked them "Do you fit the traditional gendered expectations of your sex?", most of them would say 'hell no'.

I chose not to answer the gender question as gendered expectations and experiences have added nothing positive to my life. They limit what you allow yourself to do, and are a burden even in the comfortable and fairly privileged life I've had.

Same here Mumsy you put my thoughts exactly in a nutshell.

Christina that’s a really important point.
I can absolutely imagine that people who are conscientious form fillers and maybe not particularly engaged in the language changes around these issues... and who in the (now) old-fashioned way might be used to seeing ‘gender’ used sometimes in places where biological ‘sex’ is actually meant... this group might be a bit puzzled by the question coming after the sex question but will dutifully give an answer anyway.

If people aren’t really engaged with the changing language around this over recent years they could just think that question means ‘have you changed your sex legally’ or ‘have you had a sex change’ or something like that. They won’t appreciate that the question asks them to endorse a political or values system if they give an answer either way. Because ONS gives no option for ‘I don’t believe in gender identity’.

I chose not to answer the gender question as gendered expectations and experiences have added nothing positive to my life. They limit what you allow yourself to do, and are a burden even in the comfortable and fairly privileged life I've had.

Work hard at school, be a good girl, don't wiggle your bum when you walk, don't forget to be pretty - why do you wear your glasses all the time - I cant see without them! you won't get a boyfriend, don't slouch - why are you so tall! why isn't your hair curly and lighter - I inherited your genes! My dm was no dragon, I loved and still miss her decades later, but growing up was hard.

I followed University with a good career and marriage. I stayed at home with my dcs as I breastfed them, and I had seen the strain that raising a family and full time work had put on my dm and her friends, and my dh liked his job a lot more than I liked mine. Stupidly though I overlooked the financial, social and personal security that comes with paid employment. So far, so very 'gendered'.

Now - happy dcs, 'detached' me, dh fed, laundered etc, all house repair, decorating, maintenance once done by me, I was pretty good at it too, has stopped, I don't like our house, nothing happens any more - I'm still a biological woman - 3 pregnancies tend to confirm that; he's still a biological man, who can't be arsed with anything practical beyond the garden. So we don't 'properly' fit gendered roles, but there was nowhere for a life like mine to be acknowledged: is my life less valid?

I wrote an accompanying letter, and pointed out that our (women and girls) difficulties come from our sex: - selective abortions, FGM, 2 - 3 women a week murdered by partners/exes, no promotion because you might get pregnant. And that I loathe the persistent power of patriarchy pushing me into a box I reject

So yes, thank you to the wise women of Mumsnet for this and all the other FWR threads

I answered the gender question with the fact that I identified as the same gender as my sex at birth.

I was usable to write in the comments at the end that I was grateful they were including a section on gender, fantastic that transgender people are getting an opportunity to be registered. 😊

If it was not for mumsnet, I would not have even thought to do that, so thank you 😊🌈

Sorry to post on the thread but just wanted to point out that there is a (much more limited) route to register objections to questions, if you are responding to census online rather than completing it on paper.

Also they shouldn’t assume that people who ticked yes or no to the question asked (whether your identity matches your sex) would NOT include people who felt the same, that they didn’t have a gender identity or felt they were living outside gender stereotyped norms and that they rejected them.

I went for the fallback option of using online version only but added my version of the sex in the census letter points to ONS in comments after submission. If you’re completing online you can give ONS feedback about the census questions in 1000 characters after your submission. So I did, based on the letter to ONS here: sexinthecensus.org/on-census-night/
Eg

Points taken from their letter that the answer given to the sex question should only ever be read as meaning birth sex, no other definition of sex:
sexinthecensus.org/on-census-night/

I said (which the sex in the census letter don’t say) that ONS should have provided a Y/N question about whether the person holds a GRC. Because currently the sex question asked doesn’t disaggregate birth sex data from GRC’s provision of a new legal (fiction of) sex data, meaning that the sex data question is flawed by asking a legal paperwork question about a biological fact.

I complained that I could not complete the new gender identity question they’ve added because it asks me to classify myself according to the unprovable, unquantifiable and non-politically neutral concept that gender identity is possessed by everyone when it’s absolutely not. It is not universally experienced, accepted or proven to exist nor is it a well understood thing with any commonly used or accepted language to describe it making this a very poorly expressed census question. I don’t feel I have a gender identity, I object being asked to put myself anywhere on that scale because gender is a series of outdated sexist stereotypes.

ONS should have treated gender identity like the question of religion and allowed for an ‘I don’t believe in gender’ or ‘I have no gender identity’ answer at the top of the list. It is sexist of ONS to make the assumption that we all subscribe to gender identity stereotypes, so I was unable to give them an answer to that question.

Also they shouldn’t assume that people who ticked yes or no to the question asked (whether your identity matches your sex) would include people who felt the same, that they didn’t have a gender identity or that they felt they were living outside gender stereotyped norms and they rejected them. (Rather than that they felt drawn to live in the gender stereotypes of the opposite sex which was all the question asked about)

I thought it was really leading and unfair, the way the current question was asked didn’t allow anyone except those who do believe in gender identity to give an answer.

I need to crank my printer into life today. Does anyone know of I can include my children on my letter? I.e. state how I want their data used/not used the same as my own? I assume it's ok given they are minors and I am their parent?

Having tried to explain it all to DH, I'd say he's vaguely on board and if I do the legwork on the letter, he's happy to include it. Certainly won't be answering the gender q.

Ooh. Excellent Socrates11 and ChristinaXYZ

A letter for each member of the family, added in a bit about gender being a social construct. And thanks for the reminder to top my letter with an Adult Human Female sticker.

@Socrates11 Excellent! I wish I'd thought of that.

Ours filled in and sent with letters attached.

Filled it in, attached a slightly amended letter... along the lines of the gender question would surely be better with the religion question as its measuring a belief. And popped an Adult Human Female sticker on it for good measure 👍

We ordered a paper copy and both filled in the same copy (with kids details too obvs). We both printed out the letters and put two letters, one in his name and one in mine, in with the family form. I am sure you don't need two forms even if you are sending two letters.

If you have filled in the online one and still want to send the letter - can you not do so nay way? They are still processing your data and you've still got rights over how that data is held and processed surely ? And if they have to match the letter to the online form then that's their problem.

In 100 years from now... family genealogists will be looking at these and saying ‘what the bloody he’ll was going on in 2021 - ohhhhh the first Black Covid epidemic... must’ve melted their brains or something...’

I won’t say what I put... needless to say 🤣

I've done mine, left the gender question blank and will print off the letter.

I was feeling a bit mischievous and marked DD2 down as asexual.
That's what happens when you leave form filling to your Mum.

Oooops! The printer has run out of ink so I have had to write out my letter by hand. I pity the poor soul who has to read (and decipher) it!!

Also bumping I'm filling mine in now and had to check what the latest guidance was.
The Sex in the Census advice is still to fill in a paper one and add an accompanying letter:
sexinthecensus.org/f-a-q/

Bumpette. Happy Census Day.

If your paper copy hasn't arrived, don't panic. You can fill it in late and/or the census officers will be calling round later this month to help any non-fillers-in. They will have paper copies you can use.

Let's hear it for biological sex!

Bumpette. Happy Census Day!

I can see the new version now, I've also tweaked because I wanted to add a paragraph with regards to TRAs now stating they'll be lying on the census, the ONS should have stuck to the definition by law from the start and my hope that lessons have been learned and we won't get a repeat of this shitshow situation for future censuses.