Hyperbole spin-off

It's a good topic for nuanced discussion. I don't feel as strongly about cosmetic surgery as you might imagine. I suppose my view is that we're all products of our environment, and we all choose which battles to fight and when we're ready to surrender. How we relate to our bodies, and how we appreciate them is so complex. If my body was a temple that I wanted to keep optimally healthy, I'd exercise more. And eat better. And sleep better. But I grew up in a society that didn't exactly make all of those things easy or second nature. I'm used to my way of life, and these things, they're an uphill struggle. Habits die hard.
Similarly, I grew up in a society that upholds a particular standard of 'beauty', and it's hard to become immune to the bombardment of that standard and the poor self esteem resulting from realising you fail to measure up.

Sometimes it's the work of a lifetime to learn to think and behave and feel differently. And sometimes the work required to unlearn one's self-criticism is too much.
So if a woman throws in the towel and thinks, damn it, I've weighed it all up and decided I'm getting an eyelift and then I'm getting on with my life, I'm not inclined to be judgemental. Better if she can feel she doesn't need to. But not such an enormous big deal.

Where the line is between "I'm getting this done so that I can stop being annoyed by my droopy eyes and move on" and "I'm in intense distress with my normal healthy body and can't live with myself like this" is probably where counselling should kick in.

Unnecessary for who? My boob job wasn't unnecessary for me

My surgery wasn’t unnecessary for me either

Apologies tellme

You were exactly who i was thinking of when i said medical issue

Reconstructive after a mastectomy, making up the difference between massively different boobs, no boobs at all

I obviously didnt make that clear ...the nhs cover things like that and reductions obviously

brandine

We were going to get it done privately and pay but ‘luckily’ he had apparently a proper medical issue (we had no idea) and it was covered by the insurance

So labia surgery i think is completely unnecessary UNLESS its for a medical reason

And now women get it done cos they think they should have tidy labia NOT because it’s causing them a physical issue

Boob jobs for me would be similar

• I don’t think GETTING surgery

I don’t think it’s a surgeries a bad thing to do at all- it certainly doesn’t reflect on the morals of those getting it done. What it does indicate is how shit society sometimes treats people for something completely arbitrary and out of our hands.

My ds1 was very upset about his nose

And ive had surgery

Where you asking from a feminist point of view about pressure on primarily women or was there something else you were thinking of?

I think it's awful that you felt the need to have the operation, but I can completely understand why you did. It wasn't your nose that was wrong, but society and our obsession with appearance and our narrow ideas of what is acceptable.

Sorry OP. My comment was a bit stream of consiciousness. You just got me thinking!

I guess I could have learned to love myself without the surgery but the reasons I don't love myself are totally unrelated to my looks.

Brandine I didn’t see the earlier thread so don’t know context. I am sure you did the right thing for you at the time. In an ideal world you wouldn’t have needed the surgery, wouldn’t have become anorexic. The world is far from ideal and women pay the price for that with their bodies and minds. Can you let go of what happened, if not, is there a counsellor you feel you can talk to? We can only try to make the world that bit more accepting for other women so they don’t feel their only choice is to do the same.

One of my boobs didn't develop. I had an implant in that boob at the age of 16 on the NHS. I don't regret it but I think it does give me some empathy for teenagers struggling with their bodies. I can't say I love my boobs but I don't hate them and I think it would have had more of a negative effect on me had I not had it done. I am the most low maintenance non looks focussed person you can imagine. I am the last person who would get cosmetic surgery in other circumstances. But I wanted to wear tops without people noticing I only had one boob. I suppose that is societal pressure to a degree but does it matter? When I was in the hospital there was a lovely woman in there who was in for the same reason. Her and her husband were so lovely to me. Men have never cared even though the difference is still pretty obvious (texture and sensation). One horrible boyfriend looked at me with disgust and said "why did you do that to yourself?" but otherwise it has all been well received. I never felt I needed to do more. I never wanted perfection. I just wanted a pair of boobs.

But referring to your OP, personally I don’t have a massive issue with cosmetic surgery

I think there can be a place for it but for me it really depends what its for, and it’s something that should be thought about. I’m also concerned about the relentless circle some surgery goes round for some people, where they are never happy and keep thinking they need to get more

Especially around female actors and their faces

Feels to me like it's the attention that's wrong , al though you only live once