Educating men about women

Russel Howard sketch here thank you so much for this, will share with my teenagers, streets ahead of school sex ed!

What's that list when it's shows what men have to worry about when leaving the house? Men grab their keys. Women have to think about how they are getting home, where is a safe
To walk etc etc etc. I've tried many times to find it to show my teenage son the challenges his sister and I face.

I think it's very powerful.

Women know loads more about men than men know about women. It's the nature of a power imbalance: the oppressed are fully aware of the oppressor, but the oppressor doesn't really see/hear/feel/understand what is like to be the oppressed.

I think Katz is one of the leading voices on this - abd he's ignored by many men.

Someone posted about Dworkin's request for a 24 hour "ceasefire" of men raping women. I hadn't heard that before (need to read her work!), but it is extremely considered in making an excellent, easy to convey point. And one I think teens can get. Imagine 24 hours with all women knowing that there was no chance of being raped. None. How on earth could men be persuaded - as it would have to be men - into that? And the only answer is they couldn't (well, I think if they were told they could have a rape free for all the second day it might persuade the raped ones..but basically, can't do it).

And teens can come back with "yeah but you can't persuade all thieves/muggers/fraudsters not to commit a crime for a day". True. But their crimes aren't against predominantly women, and the discussion is focussing in women. Can talk about burglary victims later.

Sorry as I'm not directly answering, but I did find this a spectacularly effective way of making the point. And from there Katz can be brought in etc.

One example below, but if you can be more specific if you want support personally or at school for example you might get more useful links, or this document might give you more search terms. I agree with you OP that this is important.

promundoglobal.org/resources/9-tips-for-parents-raising-sons-to-embrace-healthy-positive-masculinity/

Interesting that there is nowhere near as many charities for men.

I don't get the re-educating men bit?

I don't think that there are any feminist groups focusing on that. Sounds like, dunno. Not heard that before.

I don't know that there are lots of resources educating women about men either. If that's what you mean?

I may have the wrong end of the stick!

thanks for this thread,

I have sons. I'd like to have them turn out to not be, well,

A colleague of mine tried to get Caroline Criado Perez in to give a talk in his boys' school. Caroline agreed but it never happened because the Head didn't see how it was relevant to the boys....

We do a fair bit of work encouraging girls to consider STEM careers - but it is just as important to show boys that there's nothing remarkable in women working in these areas (which is a challenge when sometimes, there are only a few of us.)

I do think that girls and boys are now routinely being taught that there is no difference in strength and speed between men and women.

I think it also plays into the hands of those who claim (against the latest scientific evidence) that it's entirely fair for trans women to compete in women's sport. We know teenage boys can beat the best adult female athletes.

I do think that girls and boys are now routinely being taught that there is no difference in strength and speed between men and women. This is really damaging to women as, after puberty, there are large differences in strength and speed. I've been told by my female students that I am being sexist in pointing out women are less physically strong, but to me it's a vital feminist point, otherwise we have the madness of mixed sex sports and the death of women's sport to contend with.

Back to your main point. I think it's a massive issue that boys aren't taught well about women. Most books, plays, artworks studied in school are by men and about men, and this is even more pronounced in boys' schools. I've taught in both boys' and girls' schools. Guess which ones spend masses of time and energy on topics like sending nudes and sexual harassment? The girls' schools. When it's the boys schools that need to be teaching about those things, but instead there is radio silence.

I've seen a quote from Jackson Katz about the use of language e. G. '1 in 5 women are raped'. It's always in the passive voice, and men are never mentioned, making it into a women's issue. When what we should say is 'men rape 1 in 5 women'.

A colleague of mine tried to get Caroline Criado Perez in to give a talk in his boys' school. Caroline agreed but it never happened because the Head didn't see how it was relevant to the boys....

The slowest and weakest boy in a class is not faster and stronger than the fastest and strongest girl in that class by default.

Eh? No one thinks that.
However, a 16 year old boy can break a women's world record quite easily in any sport..... Not the slowest 16 year old in class obviously, but basically your average normal fit teenaged boy.

Check the statistics

boysvswomen.com

My first MN post... I've been lurking for a while, came for the Feminism Chat for support and sanity on GRA reform and other concerns around gender identity. The topic of educating men is really close to my heart - most have little idea of the reality of women's lives. I have two teenage sons and a teenage daughter and I am committed to sending my sons out into the world with a clear idea of what it's like to be female and of how to be a properly good man / friend / colleague / partner. I have searched for good material aimed at boys - there is tons of great stuff on empowering girls, and some for parents, but nothing much for boys themselves. It's really frustrating as I agree with @EBearhug (did I do that @ right? Is it good manners? yikes newbie fear) that we won't reach equality without men on board. Re pornography, which I personally think is crucial to discuss, some of Fight the New Drug is useful fightthenewdrug.org/about/ but it's more for concerned parents and older young people, and a bit too intense. I'll checkout J Katz and the goodmenproject, thanks. Any other pointers very welcome!

Luke and Ryan Hart.
Coco awareness.

Amazing men.

To emphasise, as a mother of boys, my eldest, at 10, is within 2 inches of my height, and has bigger feet than me. I think I could out-lift/stamina him, but for sprinting he would already leave me in the dust (well, mud and snow)

At his age, I was 7 show sizes smaller, and another 2 inches shorter - there is no point lying to your children about physical capabilities.

Don't lie to your children, just provide evidenced expectations!

I have boys. I tell them how tall they are likely to be (one tall, one short), I talk to them about sports they might have natural advantages in given their body proportions. I tell them the subjects that genetically they might be good at/I and my mum or dad can help them with (maths, computer science, mechanics, engineering). I tell them what they might find hard (oldest is dyspraxic).

Physical = possibly affected by sex
Mental = entirely up to you and your interests

“boys are stronger than girls” or “boys are faster than girls” etc.

What an odd thing to focus on? Approaching and past puberty this isnt' an opinion, this is fact, there's no point trying to teach them falsehoods about that!

Whereas, boys are better at maths than girls, boys are just 'better' than girls, girls should have long hair, etc. is not reality based.... (speaking as someone who's mother has a pure maths degree, earned at the same time as I earned my electronics degree)

Well men are generally stronger or faster than women. Child level difference- not really.

It's the gender expectations that I find irritating- girls won't like football etc. That is nonsense.