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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Mumsnet Says They Are Trans Friendly; What do you think?

790 replies

Nightinghawk · 03/03/2021 15:22

I’m coming over from Twitter since @/MumsnetTowers has encouraged people to join, promising that they would not ban people for using the word “cis” and also that they think “Campaigning against trans people’s existing human rights and legal protections is transphobic” is “an interesting question and a debate [they’d] welcome seeing on the boards.” When asked if they believe that trans women are women, trans men are men, and nonbinary people are nonbinary, they responded with “We believe adults have a right to say what they think about matters of active public debate.” However, they do say they do not tolerate hate speech, malicious content, sweeping negative generalizations, derogatory or aggressive content on their site.

Given the conflicting messages I’ve seen from them in the past, and the fact that they to this day think campaigns against trans people’s rights could in any way not be transphobic and their hesitance to affirm trans people’s autonomy in our self-description and our gender(s), I’m hesitant to believe that Mumsnet the site is actually trans friendly. I mean this as no disrespect to the mod team or others in position of authority; it is merely my opinion (and lived experiences) that any online forum that doesn’t immediately consider campaigns against trans people’s rights as transphobic tend to have (accidentally or otherwise) cultivated a transphobic customer base on their forums. I say this as a trans person who has been leveled all kinds of harassment in a variety of online forums, where those which had not condemned transphobia had immensely more transphobia in quantity and in vitriol.

All this is to say, I’d like to hear your (Mumsnet’s users’) opinions on the matter. Is Mumsnet really a trans friendly space? Do you believe that advocating against trans people’s existing rights is transphobic or anti-trans? Do you think these existing rights for trans people are “interesting” enough for “debate”? Do you think the term cis should be censored? Am I safe asking for/providing advice here as a trans person? Why? Why not?

For reference: I am nonbinary trans and use xe/xem pronouns. I understand they can be difficult to use or to remember to be used for some people. If you don’t want to use my pronouns, then please use my username: Nightinghawk, or NH as shorthand.

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Mockolate · 05/03/2021 02:35

I haven't said anything about a jam jar of gender, so not sure what you're on about there.
Will take a look at the article you say you've posted though.

Impatiens · 05/03/2021 02:25

@JaneJeffer

They want someone, not me though, to tell them why transmen want to get pregnant.
Well I could say why but I'm not going to because it's pointless.
Impatiens · 05/03/2021 02:24

'jam jar of gender' - now that's chuckle worthy! 😂

GCAcademic · 05/03/2021 02:24

jam jar of gender

😂😂😂

Impatiens · 05/03/2021 02:22

newstart1337 I reckon you're allowed a chuckle in the middle of the night Grin

JaneJeffer · 05/03/2021 02:22

They want someone, not me though, to tell them why transmen want to get pregnant.

PheasantPlucker1 · 05/03/2021 02:21

Mockokate I linked to sn article by a transman explaining how they felt about pregnancy.

I think you missed it talking about your jam jar of gender?

Impatiens · 05/03/2021 02:20

Poor ol Mockolate, you seem very disgruntled and conflicted. What is it you want?

JaneJeffer · 05/03/2021 02:19

Transmen

Mockolate · 05/03/2021 02:17

Why don't you ask them? How are we supposed to know the answer to that

Did I say you, lol?
Also, who's "we?"
Thought we were all individuals on here with own thoughts and not some collective borg?
Funny how the question has been asked several times by "GC" posters but the minute anyone else does it's "how are we supposed to know" or "ask them?!"

PotholeParadies · 05/03/2021 02:15

@newstart1337

Apologies, I dont know if we are allowed to laugh on these threads but In a jar by the door? That made me chuckle out loud.
Yes. Otherwise we'd all go completely bonkers!
newstart1337 · 05/03/2021 02:13

Apologies, I dont know if we are allowed to laugh on these threads but
In a jar by the door?
That made me chuckle out loud.

Impatiens · 05/03/2021 02:11

@PheasantPlucker1 It seems exactly the same to me too. Plus the need to persecute/punish non-believers.

JaneJeffer · 05/03/2021 02:08

I' am here to have a discussion in I like to get different points of view, (eg why do trans men want to get pregnant when it's the most womanly thing you can do) I'm genuinely interested.
Why don't you ask them? How are we supposed to know the answer to that?

PheasantPlucker1 · 05/03/2021 02:02

Ive said this before, but gender reminds me strongly of religious faith.

I have friends who are very religious. They know God exists. That isnt up for debate, they just know. They can feel Him, and his presence in their lives.

I think theyre batshit.
They think Im batshit for questioning it.

Gender seems to be very similar. To some its an absolute certainty, to others it just doesnt exist.

Impatiens · 05/03/2021 02:02

When you say 'pointless' I assume you mean you didn't like posters disagreeing with you, rather than that you couldn't get a discussion going?

Mockolate · 05/03/2021 01:58

I mean you're not posting to have a discussion, as you've stated that you're not going to explain what you mean by your comments

I' am here to have a discussion in I like to get different points of view, (eg why do trans men want to get pregnant when it's the most womanly thing you can do) I'm genuinely interested.
I'm not going to enlarge on what it means to have a female identity/self alongside my female body if that's what you mean. as I know from past experience it is absolutely pointless even trying on here.

Impatiens · 05/03/2021 01:53

I mean you're not posting to have a discussion, as you've stated that you're not going to explain what you mean by your comments.

Mockolate · 05/03/2021 01:50

So you're just browsing then? Ok

Just browsing? Confused
No, not sure what you're on about there.

Impatiens · 05/03/2021 01:49

So you're just browsing then? Ok.

Mockolate · 05/03/2021 01:44

Mockolate why have you responded to my joke and not the posters asking you direct questions?

I've already answered that a few posts up.

Impatiens · 05/03/2021 01:41

Mockolate why have you responded to my joke and not the posters asking you direct questions?

Mockolate · 05/03/2021 01:35

In a jar by the door?

Yes.
Yes, in a jar by the door.
That's right.

Hmm Biscuit
Impatiens · 05/03/2021 01:33

In a jar by the door?

JaneJeffer · 05/03/2021 01:21

I have a strong female sense of self along and separate to my body.
Whereabouts exactly?

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