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Original poster

FFS re. Hilaria & Alec Baldwin and normalisation of surrogacy

238 replies

PatienceVirtue · 03/03/2021 14:15

www.etonline.com/hilaria-and-alec-baldwins-daughter-lucia-was-born-via-surrogate-161509

The Baldwins, a baby-hungry 'Spaniard' and rich Hollywood male, have had a sixth (sixth!) child six months after having their fifth. Apparently by surrogacy, well it wasn't carried by her obviously. Which means they implanted an embryo or embryos into some poor womb-holder while she was already heavily pregnant with their fifth child.

Why? FFS. I just don't understand it. Originally surrogacy was sold as solution to the utter misery of infertility and I feel a great deal of sympathy with this. But when it becomes the go-to of extremely wealthy families who already have numerous children (cf Kim Kardashian, Robbie Williams et al), then its exploitative and transactional nature is exposed.

I can't bear the way it's become so normalised to use women like ovens. Stop call it carrying a baby, like they're handbags. It's growing a baby from a microscopic dot to a newborn.

OP posts:
missbridgerton · 05/03/2021 09:11

I remember watching Giuliana Rancic on her reality show. She seemed horribly detached from their baby as he was then, and it was very much Dad doing the parenting. I couldn't watch any more of it, I found it all quite upsetting. She's another one with very deep seated MH issues.

EachandEveryone · 05/03/2021 09:10

I reckon Amy Schumer will be the next one. She will go up in my estimation if she repeats her really tough pregnancy herself.

It’s funny how it’s rarely seen with UK celebs, I’m guessing it’s because they don’t have hollywood money.

Meredithgrey1 · 04/03/2021 23:20

@Clymene

I think this will increasingly become the norm. 'Too posh to push' will be replaced by 'too important to take the risk of gestating your own child'.

Someone will probably come up with something snappier. Too busy to bump?

Incidentally, I have had a c section. I have nothing against them before anyone jumps on me.

Paying other women to take the risks of pregnancy and deliberately subjecting your own child to trauma is I suspect going to come back to bite them on the arse one day.

Too genteel to gestate is what I meant.
OhHolyJesus · 04/03/2021 23:16

I did feel sorry for Giuliana Rancic. I used to watch her reality tv show when I was bored and didn't know any better. She has breast cancer and was already struggling with fertility but I remember her husband Bill, on the advice of her doctor, asking her to eat a bit more and she said she couldn't because of work. It seemed so backwards to me if you were trying for a baby, you would want your health to be tip top.

After son Duke was born, maybe when he was about a year or so old, they asked Delphine to do it again. Clearly that didn't happen as he is now 7.

Imagine being asked to do it again? As in that is now your purpose and having done it once how could you say no.

For the surrogate mothers who aren't financially motivated I think being a people pleaser is a strong part of agreeing to do it or even offering to do it. It's not your every day sort of favour is it?

Blibbyblobby · 04/03/2021 23:12

@Clymene

I think this will increasingly become the norm. 'Too posh to push' will be replaced by 'too important to take the risk of gestating your own child'.

Someone will probably come up with something snappier. Too busy to bump?

Incidentally, I have had a c section. I have nothing against them before anyone jumps on me.

Paying other women to take the risks of pregnancy and deliberately subjecting your own child to trauma is I suspect going to come back to bite them on the arse one day.

Too swell to swell?
Meredithgrey1 · 04/03/2021 23:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FannyCann · 04/03/2021 22:54

"What being a celebrity surrogate is really like". Odd wording as of course the celebrity isn't the surrogate. Rich women having babies for poor nonentities is unlikely to catch on.

"after welcoming son Duke Rancic, Giuliana and Bill introduced Delphine, the French au pair who carried their son to term."

That's more like it. Get the au pair to provide the baby. And no doubt carry on doing all the housework and childcare afterwards. 🙄

pagesix.com/article/what-being-a-celebrity-surrogate-is-really-like/

zanahoria · 04/03/2021 22:20

"We are living each day, bonding, and grateful for all of the very special angels who helped bring Lucía into the world."

www.people.com/parents/hilaria-baldwin-welcoming-two-babies-back-to-back-after-miscarriage

FannyCann · 04/03/2021 19:29

I feel an urgency to push back harder.
So many people don't really think through the issues imo and the media so often print happy fluff pieces rather than engage in serious ethical discussion, the general public are very accepting I believe. Without any understanding of the wider implications.

FannyCann · 04/03/2021 19:26

Thanks for posting all those links @OhHolyJesus

So many informative posts and links.

The Law Commission are due to present their proposals to parliament early in 2022 but I really feel there is a ramping up of pressure already. The Times (which has at least two senior journalists who have made use of surrogacy) carried THREE blatantly pro surrogacy articles in January alone.

OhHolyJesus · 04/03/2021 18:23

Would doctors really suggest this?

Because they get paid more.

Kidman had two adopted kids with Cruise. Her third child was her first biological and genetic child, her forth was a surrogacy arrangement.

OhHolyJesus · 04/03/2021 18:19

It was almost like she was giving birth herself

Or perhaps she is feeling like she's pregnant too...like this sister.

https://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/2410259/reddit-surrogate-sister-pregnancy-fight/

rawalpindithelabrador · 04/03/2021 17:43

@EachandEveryone

Yes but both NK and SJP carried their first babies to term themselves? Its so arrogant to then wait and wait and just pay someone to do it. And dont get me started on the twin thing is that a conscious decision by all these celebs? They must have the highest multiple birth rate in the world in Hollywood.
The classic boy/girl designer twins.
EachandEveryone · 04/03/2021 17:20

Yes but both NK and SJP carried their first babies to term themselves? Its so arrogant to then wait and wait and just pay someone to do it. And dont get me started on the twin thing is that a conscious decision by all these celebs? They must have the highest multiple birth rate in the world in Hollywood.

EeOopLass · 04/03/2021 17:13

If NK and CB's doctors advised surrogacy, it would have been because they were both well on the wrong side of 40 when they wanted to get pregnant and turned to surrogates. Same for SJP.

Celebs do seem particularly "blessed" in being able to have babies in their 40s and 50s don't they?

Speaking as someone who was removed from their mother as a newborn, it disgusts me. I didn't even understand that attachment issues actually were a proper thing until I was in my 30s. Then it all made so much sense Sad. Like a wise poster upthread said - I just couldn't articulate it.

WeRoarSometimes · 04/03/2021 17:02

Both NK and CB mentioned that their doctors advised surrogacy, almost as if it were a treatment for infertility.
Would doctors really suggest this?

EachandEveryone · 04/03/2021 16:31

Nicole Kidman also used the same expression.

Original poster
PatienceVirtue · 04/03/2021 13:19

I suspect Caprice didn't feel like she was popping out her second son.

Such a good point about the mother having been dropped from the phrase surrogate mother and surrogate having been turned into a noun. Language is so important and where it goes, attitudes follow.

Carrier is absolutely awful, like you've a plastic bag rather than a womb.

OP posts:
NannyR · 04/03/2021 12:50

That article is awful - the way she describes the birth of the surrogate baby, it was almost like she was giving birth herself, holding her "carrier's" hand as "she popped out their first son".

rawalpindithelabrador · 04/03/2021 11:28

Sick AF!

WeRoarSometimes · 04/03/2021 11:14

I remember this lady from some years ago:

www.baby-magazine.co.uk/caprice-bourret-one-mothers-miracle/

The use of language is worrying. 'Gestational carrier'.
She also mentions this:
“We would have done it [surrogacy] in England but the laws in this country say that even though it’s your biological child, the carrier could take your child away – they have more rights than in the USA so you have to be very careful, and that’s why I went to the States,”

The carrier.
Makes it sound like a personal stylist or someone helping you with your bags at an airport.

Number3BigCupOfTea · 04/03/2021 11:01

Host says it more clearly though.

Som3body should wait til they are on tv and say "oh what is the word they use for host , it eludes me..... ih yes, surrogate".

OhHolyJesus · 04/03/2021 10:37

I've already noticed that the language around surrogacy is changing - people saying things like 'for future babies, we'd use a surrogate' or 'there's always surrogacy'. A detachment and commoditization.

Exactly. A shift in language in mainstream media has removed 'mother' from 'surrogate' (and adjective) completely, making 'surrogate' a noun, which is isn't.

This is perhaps an upgrade from 'host' but absolutely dehumanising and we are seeing it more and more.

The U.K. Law Commission will have a draft proposal for law reform of the 1985 act due for release early next year (but I reckon it will be sooner).

Blacktothepink · 04/03/2021 09:39

It sickens me 😡