So, its Aromantic Awareness Week

How come @ShulamithFirestone has got deleted?

I can't even remember what she said, so it can't have been that exceptionable.

Anyways, for a straight people website

This is a parenting website, with some non parenting-specific forums useful to everyone, not a "straight people website".

It is predominantly a female centred website, which i think is a good thing, is that ok with you? But saying a parenting website is a straight person's website rather implies that you don't think LGB people have families, which is a bit of an old fashioned attitude, don't you think?

Oh it's the same small-minded lack of imagination, tbh. Same reason there are people at work who think I'm trans because have short hair and wear clothes from the 'mens' section, and their bigotry is such that they can't conceive of a woman being like that. The fact that I am also oriented towards women is somehow a marker that I would be on board with all this rubbish, and that the struggle for rights over the past few decades was all about getting everyone to recognize a spiffy new flag, rather than to make sure same sex partners could be next of kin when their loved one is dying and not be shut out, for example. No, it's all about underlining how those boring old people just don't understand how very interesting you are, of course.

I don’t get this at all.

I could legitimately say that for 90% of the last 14 years I’ve been asexual (thanks GnRHAs, aka puberty blockers, for that delightful side effect).

Why in the hell would I want to declare this publicly? It’s not my identity, it does not define me and it’s nobody’s business other than mine and my DHs. Why do so many people feel the need to define themselves this way?

This is not an orientation. It does not cause oppression - I’ve never been oppressed for being asexual, because nobody in my real life knows about it. And even if they did, they’d probably either feel sorry for me or my DH or both. I can’t imagine much worse than my employer knowing I have no sex drive so it won’t be leading to discrimination there.

Perhaps I should write about it in my email signature so everyone I email knows about it...

I don't know if that means they agree it's a false accusation though.

For the record, I've never seen a poster characterise trans people a scum. Apart from anything else, many people here have trans family members and trans friends and several mumsnetters are trans themselves.

I think it's more interesting to let the biphobia/bi-erasure and homophobia stand. I speak of this classic line: Anyways, for a straight people website you sure seem to have a beyond manic interest in Queer folk.

Anyways, for a straight people website you sure seem to have a beyond manic interest in Queer folk.

ODFOD.

Just wondering out loud how this post gets to stand when women here are deleted for the slightest hint of negative generalisations that are deemed to be uncivil or 'not in the spirit'?

Probably because this isn't an echo chamber, regular posters don't want it to be and so don't report that sort of thing. Even though it showed sheer ignorant prejudice.

we need to stop coming up with excuses why some particular category of women can have their oppression disregarded.

Ah but Pothole, that's the whole point of "intersectionality" in its current form: to find excuses why some particular categories of women can have their oppression disregarded, whilst also finding excuses why some particular catagories of men can have their privilege disregarded. Its just the latest patriarchal work around for the age old problem of women wanting rights. Hence why the one type of woman whose oppression is never negated by other forms of privaledge is the type who is actually male. Just another way of taking any method by which women might gain more power and redirecting that mechanism to exclusively benefit males and hurt women.

Anyways, for a straight people website you sure seem to have a beyond manic interest in Queer folk. Isn't it sad that the majority of your posts on the feminism pages is about how trans people are scum? Don't you think you have more pressing issues to argue about? Or does it just feel really nice to be in an echo chamber?

Just wondering out loud how this post gets to stand when women here are deleted for the slightest hint of negative generalisations that are deemed to be uncivil or 'not in the spirit'?

Oh, and another thing.

You may have heard of Stonewall. This is something published in a national newspaper by one of the founders, after he had to google what ace was.

Another email arrives from the Stonewall organisation. “Get involved in Rainbow Laces, Trans Day of Remembrance and our first ever Festive Reception . . .” I learn that “you can now buy laces in the ace, bi, lesbian, non-binary, pan and trans flag colours”.

I do dimly remember the reason I sat alongside a dozen or more good souls, gathered in a tacky office, to found Stonewall 31 years ago — and it wasn’t for this. Our motives had something to do with bringing people into the fold, with winning doubters over, with quiet reason, with what unites and not what divides human beings.

That’s it now, I’m afraid, with me and Stonewall. No broadcasting, no splenetic columns, no failure of respect — none — for trans, pan, non-binary, lesbian, bi, or ace (now I’ve looked it up) people.
Just a quiet and rather sad walking away . . .

The people who experienced "real oppression" and had to hide who they loved, who had to hide their sexual relationships with other adults for fear they would lose their jobs, their housing, and sometimes their own families?

You think it's the same thing now for people who don't feel interested in having sex?

Ten years ago it was all about categorizing oneself via zodiac signs, when you are in that "who am I really" searching phase.

Pothole 👏👏👏

Just a few things that particularly irked me.

Ever get annoyed that one of the first things people want to know bout you is your kids or who you're dating?

Firstly, it doesn't much happen!
Secondly, if it does, people are patently uninterested in either, and they are merely asking questions from a mental drop-down menu in order to be polite to me!

In addition, aces are in fact sometimes subjected to conversion therapy, especially in the USA, which I think we can all agree is something that isn't great at all.

Oh do pipe down with your appropriation. You expect me to believe that religious parents are noticing that their daughters aren't interested in going out on the pull and putting them through conversion therapy?

"Beth, I have found out you don't want to have sex before marriage and I am horrified. We've got you booked for camp."

People with the experience of what you call 'real opression' said "hey, those guys deserve to be here too".

And which people are those? All the British LGB people I know in RL who are older than me are agog. I can offer you approval and unrelenting support from one member of the G, but he's 15. Which could have something to do with it.

Anyways, for a straight people website you sure seem to have a beyond manic interest in Queer folk.

Casual use of mental health slurs. Also, yawn. Also, "queer". Amazing how members of generation Z and early millennials love to call themselves by that. Did you decide it resonated with you when it was the background chant as you got your heads kicked in for being suspected to be gay? Or did that just never happen to you?

The aromantic poster last night was pleasant and engaging. The one I woke up to with the bollocks statistics and the designation of certain sexual orientations as 'queer rainbow identites' and so on, just underlines that this is a gossamer thin attention seeking exercise for people who rather like the idea of clambering over LGB people and women to claim some validation.

So, very appropriate for Stonewall, I guess.

pickleme

I dont like tea or mince pies either. Would that make us an official community now?

I am "Aisteningtospoiltandentitledyoungpeoplewhocan'thinkaboutanythingproperandspendalifepromotingapersonalavatar"

Hope no-one reads this and complains about Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.

(Should read “am now in a cishet relationship)

Shit did I move through solo polyamory without noticing, too?

Someone'schild what is the LGBT+ community and why do you think you have the authority to speak for it?

I think I am beginning to get this. After my marriage broke down I was single for 10 years, moving through asexualism (not wanting sex at all with anyone) to aromanticism (not wanting any romantic relationship), and am not in a cishet relationship.

I am genderfluid, people! Who knew that Stonewall is my spiritual home!

What a load of bollocks

Am I being aromanticphobic if my first reaction to an awareness week is 'who cares'?