Calling all “older mums”

At 28 I didn't even want children. People asked and scared me. I look back and think of how much I did care therefore didn't get bothered by their opinions and am surprised. I started entertaining thoughts of children at 37, started trying at 39 had my first at 41, second just 43. Am exhausted and have discussed with partner how kids at 35 might have been less exhausting (but still exhausting) and more financially prudent. But then I think of the amazing places I've been to due to work since I turned 35. Over 20 countries. Not possible with kids. Of the lessons I've learnt that I think mean I look at life differently. Of the great partner I met at 28 and got to know well over 10 years plus before kids! So whatever path you take there will be pros and cons. Embrace it all!

Was that a name change fail?

The very best age to have children is when you're ready. It can turn out fine if it happens and you're not ready, but best is when you want.

Your friends with 4 kids by the age of 28 may or may not be happy but almost certainly don't have a career they want to (or can just yet) prioritise. You seem to have which is also totally fine.

It's your life and your body. Anybody who passes comment on you not having kids/"settling down" is rude and don't deserve a response.

I hated the thought of being tied down with kids at your age. Didn't matter what my peers were doing.
It was split between those who had kids in late teens early twenties and those who'd prefer to wait until their thirties.

I bloody loved 28. Worked hard played harder. You have plenty of time. Ignore the daft questions from family.

I'm in my 40's with a toddler. No way was I ready to parent emotionally back then.

I didn’t realise this posted in feminism as it was in active.

I’m going to go back to other topics to see what women talking about & leave pregnant stuff to feminist

Most women I know have children in their mid to late 30s. Old enough to be established, but before that feeling of middle age really starts to settle in. Of course, I’ve got one friend who just had her second at 45 so there are exceptions.

It all depends on your circle. Having a baby at 28 would be quite young in mine. It’s barely time to have finished graduate work and begun a career. You certainly don’t have to wait until you are 40 either, but there is nothing wrong with building a good, strong cv and a good, strong savings account before you have a child.

That question you will not get same two replies, as lot depends on health circumstances and other factors. Some found having babies harder / easier than in 20’s.

There is no right or best age to have kids.

I'm unclear from your opening post whether you actually want children. If you don't, you need either to simply tell your family outright "I don't want children, now shut the fuck up" or come up with a series of deflection techniques if you think the blunt approach would cause a family rift you don't want.

If you do want kids 28 is young. Most of my friends had kids in their 30s, I had mine in my 40s.

Finally, did you mean to post in feminism? You might get a broader audience in chat, or in one of the parenting boards. MN will move the thread for you if you ask.

You don't have to explain yourself to anybody OP, if the truth is that you don't feel ready, can you not just say that?

How old are you?
Are you in a relationship or married?
Do you earn a decent wage now?
Own home?

You would have more traffic if you had posted on another board.

Older mum depends on your definition 20-40? All I can suggest is you get your hormones tested to see what state your ovaries are in and if you are still ovulating. I’ve forgotten the test names but they can indicate how many eggs are left in the basket so to speak to develop properly for ovulation- that will indicate —assuming all other functions are in order- roughly how much time your body has left before you’ve fired all of your eggs & you hit menopause.

There was a thread I was on it called something like if you was pregnant at 43?, I can’t find it to link to. So many replies from women in their 40’s having babies some it was their 1st. Lots of different reasons why

Ancient mum here. People’s thinking changes and develops over time but right now do you feel you want to be a parent?