Friends dd has just come out as agender

They. I'm bloody sick of calling everyone they its such bollox.

I don't have a gender, I have a sex.
Does that work?

sorry, that's full of typos, hope the gist is decipherable.

I've started putting none when asked what gender I identify with. If agender was the only option I'd happily pick that. Naturally I'd prefer no questions on gender but people seem to have trouble spelling sex.

As for the pronoun thing - mine is she in some much as that equated with my biology, but I'm buggered if I'll go round announcing my pronouns as though they reflect my gender.
If I absolutely had to use a pronoun to reflect my gender rather than sex I wouldn't feel happy with she, as it has no relevance in that context to me. I could live with 'they' other that it implies plurality but if I could almost square the dissonance by regarding it as a rejection of the 'she' imposed by society.
I really don't see the adoption of agender as being that far from gender critical, but through the lens of the young and woke.

Can I suggest vagina?

Vagina/vaginaself

If you were keen on grammar, maybe you'd keep up with changing trends?

You're quite correct that singular they has been used for centuries (this predates Shakespeare by some distance - cf Chaucer), but that notion is absurd.

Singular they is not always conducive to clear communication and useless in quite a lot of modern constructions (i.e. ungrammatical).

Now, if used as traditionally used, to refer to an unknown, unnamed individual, in order to avoid generic he, there is little risk of confusion and ungrammatical construction. But the demand now is to use it outwith those tightly constrained circumstances. And that makes for awkward language construction and comprehension problems.

Oooh eresh that sounds fun.

What pronouns do you prefer?

Can I suggest vagina?

(It’s my answer when any muppet has been stupid enough to ask me in rl. Preying for the day my girls start copying that!)

Providora

"Of course, why wouldn't you be?
We're talking about a teenager here, one who's confused about their gender identity, that makes them vulnerable and at risk of depression and self harm."

So gaslighting and emotional manipulation is ok if the one doing it is a teenager?

Just use her name. So instead of How is she.? Say How is Jane (or what every she is calling herself as an agender person)
Just use the name instead of the pronoun

Just treat her as you always have. 99% chance it’s a rebellious/discovering yourself phase she will grow out if like we did with punk and then the next generation with goth and the one after with emo. These days it’s not culture/fashion it’s gender. It will pass

But will it pass with the teens body intact? Will a double mastectomy be done? Will hormones be given, changing the teens voice, giving them facial hair and other issues?

One of my boy dogs is currently running round the house with my bra in his mouth.

Maybe he’s trying to tell me he wants referred to as she.

Or that he’s transhuman.

Yep that will be it, he already sleeps in people beds, sits on a people seat in the car with his doggy car seat & harness, jumps on kids trampoline in the garden and frequently climbs in the bath with them.

Must be his way of saying look mum I’m a real human too.

(the definition I got came from a wiki page)

It's someone who doesn't identify as either gender

But genders are infinite, there are only 2 sexes however.

So (general) you can identify as any gender you like, not many people care except ( general) you.
But you will still have a sex. And that sex is an absolute.

Gender is not the same as sex. Let's not conflate the two words here on fwr

Poor bairn, it's not easy being a teenager growing up in this crazy world. Hopefully she'll realise that she doesn't align with gender stereotypes because they're bollocks and regressive - maybe a baby radfem in the making!

Ereshkigalangcleg
Fantastic 'gender aethiest'! I think I'll put that in my 'other' box at work where I need to describe my gender.

Like I said before, ' they' has been used as a singular pronoun since Shakespeare's time. It's really not new.

As several of us have pointed out on this thread, using “they/their” when you either don’t know the sex or aren’t speaking about a specific person is not in any way the same as being compelled to refer to a person as “they/their” when you know both the person and their sex.

Agender is defined as denoting or relating to a person who does not identify themselves as having a particular gender

Doesn't that describe most gender critical feminists?

Yes, but it is the language of gender ideology. I prefer "gender atheist".

The notion that we must go along with a child's beliefs is founded in queer theory, not sound psychological practice.

The study just published from the Tavistock showed no improvement in psychological functioning with puberty blockers. This also means they had no improvement in their psychological functioning. Full stop. They had no improvement going to a gender clinic for several years, and being referred to by preferred pronouns. If it’s meant to help, why don’t these kids improve when there are objective measurements?

This article (by Sue and Marcus Evans, psychotherapists who both worked at the Tavistock) : https://quillette.com/2021/02/04/first-do-no-harm-a-new-model-for-treating-trans-identified-children/ is very good at explaining why it is not in a gender questioning child's best interests to be surrounded by 'affirmation'.

"Family members and clinical services are pressured to support the patient’s belief that his or her psychic problems can be dealt with by interfering with the body’s appearance and functioning. And many do come to believe that the most humane course of action is to help alleviate the individual’s distressing symptoms of gender dysphoria with affirmative therapy. But there is evidence that this can further cement the trans identity—rather than allow for some acceptance of one’s natural body and gender (which would allow the individual to avoid the medical risks of hormone therapy)."

The notion that we must go along with a child's beliefs is founded in queer theory, not sound psychological practice.

DD floated the idea of being agender when she couldn't understand why her contemporaries were giggling over boys.
Later she realised that the reason she couldn't understand their attraction to boys was because she preferred girls. She's now happily lesbian.

They has been used as a singular pronoun when the sex of the person isn’t known or when it is being disguised. To pretend it doesn’t mean anything more significant now and it’s no big deal is disingenuous rubbish. We all know it means being complicit in going along with the idea that a person - a child in this case - can be something other than the sex they are, or is not the sex they are. It helps no one and is the first part of a pathway that ends in permanent changes from testosterone and a mastectomy. It’s not benign. And I’ll say it again, no one should be compelled to lie.

Just repeat the name if you don't want to use pronouns. 'How's Dave getting on?'