AIBU to think there’s benefits to communal changing rooms

I hate communal changing rooms and actively avoided places that only have them to change in.

Yes, I know precisely what you mean. I've certainly never consciously or deliberately looked at other women in the gym changing room but inevitably you do see other women's bodies in there and I have found it very reassuring at certain times in my life to see different body shapes, cellulite, older bodies, lumps and bumps and all the rest of it.

I wouldn't have chosen communal changing if cubicles had been on offer but I was surprised by just how much of an effect it had on me and how different it was from how I am used to seeing women's bodies otherwise (largely in the media). I'm not just saying that to get a dig in at how women are portrayed - it genuinely did make me almost double take as reality was so different to what I'm used to seeing when seeing women's bodies (which is quite sad).

I also don't go flashing my bits about ostentatiously in the changing room but would be perfectly comfortable with another woman finding a similar comfort from the bits of me she may chance to see while I'm changing!

I don't think it's overstating it to say that there's a certain feeling of solidarity and defiance against the world in it!

That said I also completely agree that that's not for everyone and that many people would want and would use cubicles, which is absolutely fine. But personally I do quite value female-only communal spaces like that now.

I don't really have a larger point other than to say I hear you and don't think you're at all weird!

A lot of the benefits you speak of though could actually be gained through better means. So giving young girls a more realistic view of real bodies? While the media continues with a narrow view of how women look and as long as violent porn is so easily accessed by anyone with a device, seeing my bits swinging away in a changing room ain't going to make much difference

And I really can't see how communal changing rooms will help regards periods and the mess that goes with them.

I’d rather single sex changing with some communal/some cubicles to what a pool near me has, which is mixed sex with cubicles but nowhere near enough, leaving people standing around wet waiting to grab the next cubicle before anyone else does. Eventually desperate people get changed in the walkways while maintaining as much dignity as possible.

By choice I’d go in a cubicle, but my priority is usually to just get me & the kids dry and out of there.

Land is expensive, and therefore city centre/urban facilities in particular will always need an element of communal changing, which is why it must be single sex.

I would be grateful for more private cubicles. I hate communal changing rooms, always have done, and won’t use one if I can avoid it. My local gym only has this, and I prefer to shower and change at home. It’s just a cheap option for most providers.

I am comfortable with my body and those of others, I’m a very normal, slightly saggy nearly 50 year old, but also very private about changing and have no desire to let it all hang out. I can see different body types in the gym and pool anyway, no need for further details about who has scars or unusual pigmentation etc.

I get it OP. I grew up in a somewhat prudish environment, we contorted ourselves under towels and were embarrassed about everything.
Even at the Uni gym (90s) we walked to the shower in a towel and showered behind the curtain, I used to bring my knickers in and put them on when still damp as it was awkward to get them on in the communal area discreetly!

When I started playing rugby in a different country in my 20s we all stripped off and showered together, I had no problem with it for myself, the previous efforts to conform were to avoid outraging others' decency IYKWIM.

We were all shapes and sizes and you would see the occasional tampon string, yes, not to mention piercings, scars, bruises, the works.

Members of one team is of course still different to the public swimming pool, but where I am now it's also the done thing to strip off fully and some leisure centre showers have a single-sex room with open showers and one shower cubicle in the corner.

When it suits I do go in there with my daughter and she has the option of showering in her swimsuit or going in the cubicle if she likes but I do think the normalization of women's bodies is healthier than how things were in my day!

I've been using gyms since my early 20s and every single one has been communal with no private cubicles at all. The gyms I've been to have tended to be based in the city, catering for professionals who might go before or after work or on their lunch hour. Generally, the age range has been 20s-30s, though you sometimes have older people in there.

I am not an exhibitionist. I have never and would never go topless on the beach. I wouldn't change in public under a towel. The first couple of times I had to use a communal changing room at a gym, I felt awkward, mainly because I was self-conscious about my body.

But I got used to it. And actually, being surrounded by women of various shapes and sizes, helped my confidence. I discovered that my thighs were not elephantine lumps, but actually fairly average. That even very fit and slender women have cellulite. I've seen scars from c-sections. It has been useful, in a way. (I've never seen a tampon string because I really don't look that closely!) My friend from Scandinavia says that people are more relaxed about nudity over there, and they don't have the same levels of eating disorders as here.

However, I would not feel comfortable changing in the presence of a male, no matter how they identify. I would leave the gym.

As for making all changing rooms cubicles... well, my concern is twofold. Firstly, it will be costly and time-consuming to change the entire changing area. Who will pay for that? Me through my gym membership? Also, it would lead to less changing space overall.

Secondly, I have felt more confident about my body from communal changing. This would probably be denied to other women in their early 20s.

I must say, I'm very glad that shops have moved away from communal changing areas.

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here.
When I was younger (and slimmer and fitter) I was also incredibly self conscious. Would only get changed in a cubicle.
But over the years, and going to gyms and pools with female friends I have changed. Being around other women who were more chilled about communal changing made me more relaxed too. I've never been made to feel uncomfortable or watched by another woman. Yes, you can see people in your peripheral vision but it's not really looking, you're just getting on with changing.
So, I think being in a place that you feel safe and comfortable, can allow you to use a communal space with confidence, there will always be a need for more private changing for some and anyone using those shouldn't feel judged or marginalised.
Women and girls have enough barriers to overcome to engage in sports activities, so poor changing facilities shouldn't be added to that.
As an aside, the only changing areas I have felt uncomfortable in are unisex changing'villages' - cubicles but mixed sex. My local pool has a perpetual problem with pervs trying to take photos under the doors. Another similar place I took my young DD to, the staff advised me basically to stand guard by the door due to problems with men trying to take photos.

The thing is that the ideal is that there's choice, communal single sex but also including ample family group spaces for those who have opposite sex children, caring for those with disabilities, even couples who forgot to bring two shampoos! Trans people can use these individual cabins.

I know not everywhere can offer a choice, but we can start with mandating minimum standards for new facilities and those being refurbished thoroughly.

I've been in communal changing and a person with male organs walked past naked (but full make up and feminine hair style) and I was uncomfortable, not threatened just unnerved - my then 7 year old dd thought the man was lost, innocence.

Please don’t misrepresent what I’ve said.

Apologies if that is how my post came across.

My main point is that communal changing rooms are really only beneficial to people who like communal changing rooms. There is nothing wrong with preferring communal changing rooms - I just don't think they have a wider benefit to society beyond being more practical in a small space.

I have no desire to see naked bodies. In fact a busy communal mixed changing room would be no worse or no better than a communal single sex one.

Interesting question OP.

The more I thought about it, the more I realised that, when it was the norm (lots more mixed-sex cubicles these days) I actually enjoyed the easiness of pootling around in a female-only, all shapes and sizes, all ages space. Didn't need to keep my swimsuit on when showering, didn't need to squish me and the kids in a small cubicle and try to get everyone dressed without dropping dry clothes on the wet floor, and yes, it was cheering to register, however obliquely, that none of us had perfect bodies.

Used to go swimming with a gaggle of women for a while; the chat in the changing room was a real laugh and other women would often join in. I miss all that.

So yes, cubicles for those who want them but here's a vote for communal spaces too.

None of us watch other women while we are getting changed, but none of us get changed with our eyes closed either or our eyes shamefully averted.

The standard I aim for and expect of others is politely averted. Again, there are plenty of imperfect people on every British beach and in every British swimming pool.

@IWillSqueakAgain
Tofu my post is about single sex communal changing rooms. Not anywhere men will there filming

I didn't say that you were suggesting communal changing rooms for both sexes, and neither am I. Photos still get taken and posted online, even in single sex communal changing rooms. Not for titillation, but because people can be cruel about bodies that do not fit the norm.

I do agree with the PP about ableism. I'm a wheelchair user. I don't want my body to be on display any more than it already is, for the simple fact that I'm in a wheelchair and people love to stare. I imagine that many woman would choose to use the single cubicles, which would be limited in number due to space, so I'd have to wait even longer than usual to use a changing room. I don't think the benefits of communal changing rooms outweigh the negatives.

I kind of get what you mean, but I think a lot of those benefits occur in any female only spaces anyway, particularly inter generational ones, and not necessarily only those spaces where we get naked. Of course, they are under threat too, everywhere we look

I completely agree and I think it really does improve self esteem to see real female bodies and realise that yours is no different. Yes there should be cubicles too but I think communal us fine for most people. I go to a pool with a large communal area and cubicles. Most of us prefer the space of the big room and the chit chat!

I'm so sorry @IWillSqueakAgain, I've literally never witnessed a woman referring to a "tampon string hanging out" and the only person I've ever seen write that is Yaniv.

I still don't think that woman have to be fine with communal changing if they don't want to be, and the resolution to the issue is not to increase communal changing.

You don't need to see people naked to see their different bodies. Any pool or beach you will see the full range of female (and male) body shapes in their swimming costumes.
Having said that, I'm not against communal changing rooms. I've always been a bit shy, so use a cubicle if I can.
I have no desire to see naked bodies, young or old.

That’s precisely why the idea of men in women’s changing rooms isn’t ok, because they’d witness these things that are normal to women.

A man or woman in a changing room watching me get changed wouldn't see anything they wouldn't see me do on a beach.

I think Barracker is right - women have a right to say no, and that should be the end of the argument. However, I don't think it's helpful to say that people should use communal changing rooms, because so many people find them off-putting.