Contraception

Hi OP. If you're bf an 8 month year old, it is likely that you are not ovulating, and if that's so - that would probably explain your lack of interest in sex. When ovulation returns, so will your sex drive - or at least, it did for me. Bf suppresses ovulation, but as baby eats more food and consumes less breast milk, ovulation often returns even if some bf continues. For me, that happened around 9 or 10 months I think. Periods and sex drive both switched back on overnight, even though I carried on bf until the babes were two.

Pregnancy wise yes, but u need a back up for a few weeks until tests are done to determine if it worked.

Sti wise no. But that's same as anything besides condoms obviously.

It all comes down to what you trust ajd what makes you comfortable and of course if your dp wants one. They might not agree to it.

If you don't even have time for non-sexual intimacy, it sounds as though sex and contraception are rather theoretical at the moment anyway.

What combination of contraception would make you comfortable I do believe with vasectomy u still need a back up.

It all depends what the issues are really. A lack of time is not going to he solved by stopping breastfeeding or changing contraception. And unless you are confident in your contraception choice you aren't going to want or enjoy sex anyway.

You aren't necessarily going to get more time by giving up breastfeeding though.

I think you need to have a think about what you want. Yes the pill isn't fir everyone. If you want to get back to having an.intimit relationship and are worried the pill is affecting that, then there's no harm.coming off it provided of course you use other contraception. But, you will also need to decide if not being on the pill is something you are comfortable with, as in can u trust and do you trust your partner to use condoms. And if you are happy with any change in risk factor ( condoms are obviously very effective but sone like to double up on the pill ajd condoms and of course you need to ve happy and confident in your choice)

If you want to give up breastfeeding because it feels like the right choice to you that of course is fine.

But I do think you sound a little like you are pinning hopes on things that won't necessarily solve any thing and are considering forcing yourself to have sex.

Your partner understands which is great but either way the choices you make should be because they are right fir you. Not because they may solve an issue that isn't actually something you feel you want to do at the moment anyway.

[quote Nicknamegoeshere]@Whatwouldscullydo Goodness no - I love breastfeeding. But am I hurting my partner by carrying on?[/quote]
If you love feeding your little one then keep doing it. Baby is only 8 months old and they grow up/ time goes so quickly at that stage. Keep the communication open with your partner x x

I had the problem with feeling like no time to just us as well. It helped to have a portable crib in the main area where I could put the kid down for a nap then get busy in the BR.

Incidentally, condoms can be highly effective if used properly.

I never got on with the pill (loss of libido plus crippling depression) so always used condoms. An entire reproductive lifetime later, I have had precisely one planned and much wanted pregnancy.

He sounds like a fairly considerate partner, so I’d say think through whether you might enjoy helping your partner out sexually, without intercourse since you’re not feeling up to that. Could just be cuddling, low effort for you. Obviously its OK if it’s still a “no” (like if you’re touched out) but it might help you both through the current situation to feel some physical intimacy. Or not, anyway you'd want to think about what you and he might enjoy.

Plenty of ways to avoid pregnancy while off the pill too although With BF natural contraception may be complicated as you may not have regular cycles.

[quote Nicknamegoeshere]@Whatwouldscullydo Goodness no - I love breastfeeding. But am I hurting my partner by carrying on?[/quote]
Any partner worth his salt should know if he's chosen to enter into a relationship and have children, he should at least be trying to make that relationship last 20 years or more - and 20 years will have its ups and downs.

It is normal to lose libido while breast feeding, and often through the toddler years (often women find they are too "touched out" to want sex). Most women find their libido does come back as the children grow and parenting becomes less intense. A decent man will find ways of coping with this sort of temporary lull.

Ask yourself if he had a long-term illness which took months, even years to recuperate from, would you cope with lack of sex during this period?

No need to ask permission but obviously inform him. Another vote for you to think about what you want, you seem very skewed towards what he wants

[quote Nicknamegoeshere]@SnuggyBuggy I have. He says it does bother him but he understands.[/quote]
Well there you go then. Respect him enough to take him at his word. Everything is fine. Condoms are easy to use and he will quickly get in the habit of using one when the need arrises.

I believe the advice often given to couples having a 'dry' phase is other forms of intimacy, not PIV sex (or any type of sex as such initially). Maybe that type of approach would be helpful?

I think what might hurt him more is you forcing yourself to have sex, and giving up doing something you love that's beneficial to yourself and the baby.

How do you feel about it all?

What would you do if there was no one else to consider?

If you don't feel able to have conversations with your partner about this sort of thing maybe you need to do some work on your relationship.

If you want to stop becuase you find it draining and don't want to do it then you go right ahead you don't even "permission " or to justify yourself.

But don't stop if it's just to make the man happy and have sex you dont want.

What is it you want.