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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Thanking mums for juggling childcare/work during pandemic

33 replies

MedusasBadHairDay · 26/01/2021 13:17

Just seen a tweet by Emma Barnet (and RTed by WEP) where she was reacting to Rishi Sunak saying "We owe mums everywhere an enormous debt of thanks". Her response was, "Did you forget a parent group?"

I'm torn on it because, while men clearly should be stepping up, we know that actually women have been the ones most likely to take on the childcare and homeschooling and housework and have to give up or reduce their hours at work. So thanking parents instead of mums seems blind to the gendered nature of the situation to me.

I do very much doubt he's approaching it from a feminist perspective though, and women could do with more than just thanks right now - so I'm a little loathe to agree with him. But I do lean towards thinking he is right to phrase it like this.

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Ohalrightthen · 26/01/2021 13:50

Tbf, I'm with her. My DH has picked up all the parenting slack since last March. I know lots and lots of families in similar situations.

OhHolyJesus · 26/01/2021 13:37

Recent studies published by W&E show the impact of the pandemic on women.

In my family the sex-based split on childcare, cooking, shopping etc is fair and that's because I've worked pretty hard to create that since returning to work.

Thank parents, sure, but to thank mums especially who have undoubtably done more, carried more than normal, in these unusually time is quite nice for once TBH.

MedusasBadHairDay · 26/01/2021 13:37

do you think this 'debt of thanks' could be paid by FUCKING LISTENING TO US?

That'd be good wouldn't it, but no, no chance.

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ivfbeenbusy · 26/01/2021 13:36

If he had said "parents" then people would have complained that he hadn't singled out mothers in particular so I don't think he could have won either way

Floisme · 26/01/2021 13:32

I think it's a fair point about acknowledging fathers but quite honestly I also think it's something men should be picking up on. We've got enough on our plate without taking on their battles too.

MedusasBadHairDay · 26/01/2021 13:24

IKR.

Just seen people on twitter pointing out that he's probably thanking mums now because he believes that it's a woman's role to do these things, and not for a man to lower himself to, and I get that. The intent behind it might not be good, and there's an argument for normalising parenting not just being a woman's role by using gender neutral language. But, having read Invisible Women, it's clear gender neutral language doesn't stop people associating traditionally gendered roles with particular sexes. It just seems to hide the bias instead.

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ArabellaScott · 26/01/2021 13:22

Torn, also, as I do know some (very few) men who need included. But it should also be acknowledged that this pandemic is fucking women like nothing else since the 1950s.

do you think this 'debt of thanks' could be paid by FUCKING LISTENING TO US?

No, didn't think so. We'll be patted on the head and fucking patronised some more while everyone carries on calling us fucking cervix havers, childbearers, gestational carriers and non-men.

OhHolyJesus · 26/01/2021 13:19

She can't let us have anything of our own can she?

Periods? Nope.
Thanks from Sunak? Definitely not.

Parent group? DFOD.