Women's hour right now - on transitioning husband?

I thought AH sounds traumatised. Maybe it's too soon for her to realise the damage thats been done by her ex and maybe the book and subsequent publicity is her way of processing the relationship's end?
When she talked about the way she easily gave up the word 'Mother', she just sounded broken.

And as others have pointed out, if she really believes that her husband was "always a woman" surely this is worse as she has been tricked into a lesbian relationship?

I really liked her books about running and swimming but I lost all respect for her when she wrote about boycotting JKR. I have no problem with her supporting her husband entirely- her choice. But why the hate for JKR? Just seems like she is scared to actually examine any of the issues here.

Sod that for a game of soldiers. Mummy... nope.

Right at the end she talked about 'getting over' her possession of the word Mummy, how in the great scheme of things she couldn't fight over that (it's just a word.) So I imagine the man she fell in love with, who fathered her child, is now insisting on also being called mummy. The thought of co parenting with someone like that is extremely worrying. I wish her and her child all the best-I fear they are in for a rocky ride with an extremely selfish individual.

Are there any men who find themselves in the same situation? I only know of Scott Newgent - was married to a woman but they aren’t married now (not quite the same as a trans man and a husband though).

Well, as with Amanda Jette Knox, my sympathy for being in such a hideous position drops off at the point she starts being an enforcer against other women. That's a hard place to come back from, but it is possible, so I would always be compassionate to another woman who was there, but while she is using her platform to shit on other women, my first instinct will always be boundary setting.

I love my DH but if he did this, he'd be out. Marriage over. Why should women be expected to put up with this shit?

Two things that riled me- her saying something like, just like I can’t help that Im not gay, my ex can’t help being trans. Beyond the problems for lesbians others have cited, it also makes me think, so sure you’ve always been straight. If your ex was always trans why did they marry you and decide to become a father? Also that she kept saying how rife transphobia is in this country without giving examples or facts- this being accepted as fact on Beeb just annoys me so much, like how For Women Scot are often described as an anti trans group as opposed to being a pro women group... gah!
That poor woman, I can’t believe she had to go through all that and her husband did that to her.

So why write a book about your marriage?

If it's AH then, from what I remember from the other thread, she's a mother trying to stay on good terms with the father of her very young child.

I just find it so odd that she does not waver from the “be kind” narrative. Everyone is allowed to have a range of emotions. Reinforces the old stereotype, be nice, be kind, find a positive. “We can build from here, we can make something really good......”

I thought it was quite funny that she'd come on to talk about that, but that WH picked up on the fact that the DNA test showed that her baby wasn't genetically hers, and wanted to talk about that. I had visions of her husband (sorry, no way will I call him her wife) getting all exasperated - "But what about me??"

Mind you maybe she had to say whatever she needed to say to get herself and her child out of an abusive situation as safely as possible.

Announcing you’re actually a woman when your wife is in the throes of new motherhood is a bit like doing the same on the eve of your daughter’s A Levels.

Dick move.

Yes ChattyLion, everything you said, particularly the last paragraph.

“Women don’t owe men marriage, sex, children, political or sexual personal validation...”

And “Like any woman she is perfectly entitled to leave her marriage for any reason she wants...”

She could have just said that things were no longer working between them and cite irreconcilable differences rather than play the I am not a lesbian card which as others have stated has consequences for lesbians.

Perhaps in the new belief system, it is similar to in Doctor Who, by transitioning the whole timeline is altered so that by changing the present you change the future and the past too meaning that certain things (in this case a heterosexual relationship) actually never happened at all. I am not quite sure how that explains the child but then again when you attend a Catholic mass you may think that the blood of Christ tastes rather like red wine but transubstantiation means that it definitely really is the blood of Christ and not wine. It is a wonderful mystery.

Wow I’m sorry this woman had to go through all this but whether she realises is or not, that line of ‘defence’ to leaving this guy is just putting lesbians even further up shit creek isn’t it. It’s not actually relevant if she personally is a lesbian or not. The actual point is her husband isn’t a woman, he never was, he never will be, he hasn’t changed sex, no human being can do that.

Like any woman she is perfectly entitled to leave her marriage for whatever reason she wants- if it’s how he dresses, how he talks about himself or talks about her, or that he thinks he can change sex, fly, breastfeed a baby or whatever it is she disagrees with. It’s up to her. She shouldn’t have to put up with her personal boundaries being broken.

She shouldn’t have to dress his behaviour up as being perfectly fine except for it happens to be against her heterosexuality. She doesn’t like his behaviour. That’s enough, that’s perfectly fine reason to end it.

Women don’t owe men marriage, sex, children, political or sexual personal validation... the list grows continually longer of the blatantly obvious things that women seem to have to exhaustively justify if they don’t want to give them up to men..

She can say what she likes. Facts are facts and more publicity can only be be a good thing.

I can imagine my mum and grandma listening to that and turning the air blue!

And Tinsel I would buy that book. It would be very well worth reading with all your insight and knowledge.

They're interviewing her because she has a book out. So what you'll get in all these media interviews and articles is an endless rehash of her view of her own experience.

There's nothing for it, Tinsel: if you want to get the alternative view of trans widowhood in the BBC/Guardian, you're going to have to write a book.

"I'm not gay" is the the only way to leave a marriage where your spouse is trans without being accused of bigotry. It buys into the idea that the person is literally the opposite sex and doesn't require you to engage with any of the other reasons for divorce (manipulation, dishonesty etc).

I think the reason she left the marriage is pretty obvious. But I assume they’re didn’t address the elephant in the room?

But she's been sleeping with her partner for years, and a) we're told they were always what they now identify as, and b) transubstantiation has not taken place.

So either she always was a lesbian because her partner always has been a woman regardless of outer body, or else she has a right not granted to homosexual women to have a sexual orientation specific to a biological sex regardless of presentation and choices of that person.