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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

Son's Secondary school renewing STONEWALL membership. I'm devastated, please advise.

97 replies

WeeTorag · 17/12/2020 17:40

The HEAD OF SAFEGUARDING called today to inform me that they were planning to renew their membership with an organisation KNOWN FOR DISMISSING CHILD SAFEGUARDING! You couldn't make it up.

But despite my months of communicating with them, sharing links, articles, recommending Transgender Trend and SSA etc, all for nothing, because (supposedly) the majority of the teachers feel it would be good to use their resources and get the (dreaded) training. I've explained that Stonewall are widely considered to be an aggressive, high politicised pressure group with a narrow, but extremely controversial agenda and that the new DofE guidelines advice against using groups like this for teaching materials.

But I'm wondering if there's something fishy going on. Maybe one or two of the teachers also have an agenda. I've not met any of them in person, my son is only in Y7, so can't judge very well. I also don't believe that I'm the only parent concerned but because STONEWALL have harvested their #NODEBATE culture, they're probably too scared to raise it with the school. Anyway, I'm going to start the official complaint procedure with an email to the Head Teacher. Any advice? Any snippets I can include in my email? I'm struggling to think straight, I feel like I've really failed on this. :-(

Thanks, x

OP posts:

ThatIsNotMyUsername · 16/02/2021 16:44

Well done OP! To paraphrase...

“ The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good women do nothing”

MaudTheInvincible · 13/02/2021 23:25

That's good to hear WeeTorag. I was a primary school parent governor before moving counties. It was really enlightening and interesting, I'd recommend doing it. It's great that you've been able to have a positive effect already!

Original poster

WeeTorag · 13/02/2021 23:02

@BuntingEllacott

Please name change when you do, and add TheGuvnor to your name.

Thanks everyone. I will keep you all updated.

And @BuntingEllacott that's really funny, I might just do that! 😂 Being a Governor sounds very grown up and responsible but I think it's important that as many of us as possible are on the inside keeping schools in check, so I'm going to seriously consider it. For the cause as well as the kids.

OP posts:

peak2021 · 13/02/2021 22:08

Well done.

BuntingEllacott · 13/02/2021 15:26

Please name change when you do, and add TheGuvnor to your name.

OvaHere · 13/02/2021 15:23

Wow. I missed this thread originally. Well done OP and yes please do become a governor.

VioletAlder · 13/02/2021 14:57

Excellent work, & yes you should definitely go for governor! 🍷

Biscuitsanddoombar · 13/02/2021 13:28

Wee that is absolutely brilliant work and just goes to show how people unthinkingly nod along to ‘be kind’ and the wider implications just don’t occur to them

ListeningQuietly · 13/02/2021 13:17

well done

JulesJules · 13/02/2021 13:04

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Redshoeblueshoe · 13/02/2021 13:02

Brilliant please become a governor

MrsSteveMcDonald · 13/02/2021 12:55

Fab news

ChickenonaMug · 12/02/2021 22:27

Oh well done WeeTorag.

MsFogi · 12/02/2021 22:26

Well done OP!
It would be good if many more parents contacted schools to raise their concerns/questions about RSE teaching and Safeguarding, Stonewall and other related issues. I am a school governor and it would find it really helpful if I wasn't the only one constantly catching this stuff (and coming accross as though it was a personal crusade rather than something many parents cared about).

PaleBlueMoonlight · 12/02/2021 22:00

Great work. Am seriously impressed.

aliasundercover · 12/02/2021 21:38

Nice work WeeTorag

UppityPuppity · 12/02/2021 21:07

malloo · 12/02/2021 20:38

Well done, hope you're enjoying a well earned glass of something tonight

StillAWoman2 · 12/02/2021 19:58

Well done, that’s really significant and provides a good way forward for parents to tackle other schools. The Head may still insist on going ahead but if they do it’s worth getting your points minuted in a Board of Governors meeting.

We’ve all found talking to other people is useful but it’s more limited at present, we need to get involved in positions like school governors and charity trustees to ensure we’re in the right place to put the sex based rights view.

I had taken the improvement in women’s rights in my lifetime for granted a little, I’ve had some battles along the way but its been a side issue until I came here. I think it’s time to step up more.

BuntingEllacott · 12/02/2021 19:54

Definitely consider becoming a governor. As much as it's a pain in the arse, we need to take a leaf out of the anti-woman activist's playbook and take up the positions of influence that mean action is effective.

ChakaDakotaRegina · 12/02/2021 19:52

Amazing result!

persistentwoman · 12/02/2021 19:33

Well done WeeTorag. That's great.

It's another small step when you can have a discussion with someone who listens to the actual issues. Of course, today's outcome in the initial stages of the Alison Bailey case will inevitably raise concerns in schools about allying too closely to an organisation like Stonewall that allegedly uses tactics of intimidation. Of course, we need to see how the court case pans out but the judge was clear that there was a case to answer.

MrsWooster · 12/02/2021 19:29

Soz-i see my point is a bit late!

MrsWooster · 12/02/2021 19:28

Worth, when escalating to Govs, mentioning the cost of Stonewall ‘training’. School budgets are pared to the bone and it’s hard to see how this is going to be value for money. (Also SSA and TgT stuff is free!)

Original poster

WeeTorag · 12/02/2021 19:23

Evening everyone. So I had a long Zoom chat with the Chair of Governors this afternoon and it was very constructive. Although he is "across the issues" he's never really delved into them until I brought about my complaint.

In order to gauge where he stood, not only did I look him in the eye and asked if he thought TWAW (which he ummed and aaad about, just trying to be polite I think) I also asked him THE STANILAND QUESTION!! It was the best and quickest way to get to the crux of the issue and to see what side he was likely to fall on AND highlight why so many of us are wary of the ideology and especially of it being taught in schools, with influence from Stonewall. It really made him think.

Long story short, we both believe I've made a better case for NOT signing (back) up to Stonewall then the School have made FOR signing up. He's a good guy, believes the Head's intentions are honourable but totally sees my point of view too. Rather than go straight to the next stage, the panel, which he and the Head won't be part of (you were right about that @SkeeterP) we're going to have a face to face chat at the school, the three of us including the Head, to try and establish a way forward and that it's sensible to hold off on signing up until we can all agree on an outcome.

He's also asked me to consider becoming a Governor! Something about my integrity, conviction and passion! I might just go for that. :-)

I might still lose this battle BUT I've made the school stop and think and have potentially instigated a catalyst for change. That's something I suppose. :-)

OP posts:

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