Would you ok your son wearing a dress?

If a man turned up in a dress I'd think he was not heterosexual.

Does it matter? Would it concern you if people thought your son was gay? Surely the only person who should be concerning himself with how he presents himself should be your son, as an adult? And as a child, why does it matter if an adult woman would find his apparel attractive on a date?

If it's not OK for a grown man then surely it's not worlds away from a little boy wearing it.

Would you be happy to go on a date with a man in a dinosaur costume or a Ben10 T-Shirt? Whyever not, given that little boys and grown men wearing a given item of clothing is exactly the same thing?

Ultimately, whether you'd find it appealing or acceptable on your DP is a total irrelevance. I find it very weird that women are basing what they let their kids wear on what they'd like their DH to wear. I wouldn't like DH to wear combat trousers and hoodies but that doesn't mean no child of mine should ever be allowed to wear them. It's a weird argument.

I do remember my a lady in our friendship group doing this at a local soft play / role play kids centre. She was all 'ooh look little Tommy. Look at these lovely princess dresses. Do you like this one?' he then responded 'yeh. Wear it?' que over zealous smiling 'of course you can Tommy!' and proceeds to get him in it. This boy in question is a big lad for his age. Tall and well built and the poor thing I was cringing for him running around in that elsa dress. My two just looked at me baffled. It was actually awkward trying to answer those questions on the walk home. Of course I answered them in a pc way 'well if he feels comfortable and that's what he wants to wear that's up to him'. But I was cringing inside. I will add he was given several looks by quite a significant amount of parents in there of bafflement. I just felt really sorry for him. This same lady also suggested on a group meet up that we bring some 'dolls and prams' for the boys to play with. My boys just aren't interested. It's like she's pushing an agenda that actually gives md quite a lot of awkward follow up question. One of mine actually said re the dress incident 'I thought he looked silly mummy' and actually embarrassingly so did I. But I couldn't agree so I had to just appease the situation and say 'well everybody likes different things. He's not harming anyone' but I did worry about confusing them.

There is a tendency to say that restricting boys from wearing dresses pushes them to identify as trans if they like dresses. I'm not convinced of that - gender ideology has appeared at a time when we have a lot more freedom than most people have had historically over dress. In fact to a large extent we are encouraged to show "who we are" through our consumer choices, and that this is somehow important to being authentic and free. What's more, you quite often see families that have early on encourages cross-gender choices also jumping on to the gender ideology bandwagon.

This idea that our attraction to or interest in certain fashion choices is actually an important part of our authentic self is a lot more implicated in gender ideology than whether fashion has different stylistic elements for men or women.

And the argument about a dad not wanting his daughter to wear trousers. Completely bad comparison. No one is looking at boys in dresses thinking 'they just couldn't fancy them"

Umm.... That's exactly what several posters on here have said. They like their men manly. They wouldn't fancy a man in a dress. It's a bizarre premise to base your objection on.

I must admit, lipsticks and high heels make me uncomfortable. I probably need to unpick why a dress wouldn't bother me but those would cross the line for me. But I'd like to clarify that I'm not saying I'd be happy with a dress because this is anonymous and online and hypothetical and it isn't because I'm "woke". I just don't see dresses as that feminine.

Exactly that!

And I doubt very much some of these women would be ok with. But I'm guessing, its MN so they will simply say they would be fine with it.

I don't care what anyone thinks. My opinion is that dresses do not belong on boys/men.

And the argument about a dad not wanting his daughter to wear trousers. Completely bad comparison. No one is looking at boys in dresses thinking 'they just couldn't fancy them"

If he turned up in a dress and lipstick and high heels? Because let’s not discriminate here. Social norms for women include the above as well!

If people are championing the dress then there’s no logic behind not also accepting lipstick and high heels?

Make everyone equal....

To those who would allow their son to wear a dress. Would you be attracted to or comfortable with a man you went on a date with if he turned up in a dress??

I asked ds-just turned 11 what would happen & what he'd think if a boy came to school/out/party in a dress.

He said it would be surprising & some people, not him but he's pretty sure some people, would laugh & think dresses were just for girls. He doesn't think it matters what you wear.

He obviously has been taught that this is what we believe & like most children of his age I think, broadly believe what their parents do. He knows I'm gender critical & so this issue has been thought about & discussed a bit.

I agree that some-maybe the majority might have negative reactions to something unusual, but if there are some others willing to say 'sure what about it?', that would go a long way to changing these pointless & sometimes painful social constructs.

I think no matter how far back you go in the past, there will be differences in clothing for men and women, just that trousers hadn't been invented so everyone wore "skirts".

People realize, don't they, that when women first started wearing bloomer-trousers, all the same objections were being raised - not natural, goes against cultural norms etc.

Thank goodness these women simply kept pushing back against sex-stereotypes, or we'd still be confined to frocks today!

There is zero natural reason why males can't choose non-pant outfits for variety, comfort or aesthetics.

Also, they wouldn't fit.

Men or boys who want to wear skirts/dresses for fashion or comfort should buy their own clothes, and have them altered to fit a male shape.

I

Being gender critical and, consequently, critical of gender stereotyping, rejecting stereotyped clothing is the logical thing, this has nothing to do with ‚wanting to be viewed as xyz‘. I‘d also like to add that gendered clothing norms for kids are today way more extreme than in the 70‘s when boys and girls oftentimes wore pretty much the same type of clothes.
The one argument against some (not all) dresses for one‘s son that I can wrap my head around is that you instinctually feel the dress objectifies him somehow. But then, surely, you would not want your daughter to wear it either - unless you are socialized to accept the objectification of your daughter but not your son.

Some people making it about gender and perceptions of, yet the reality is, it’s starting to become ‘in fashion’ and ‘cool’ to say ‘ohhh were gender neutral, our child will decide what they want to do/wear etc... check us out, with liberal parenting choices’

If you feel like that crack on, but don’t preach to others what they should/shouldn’t do with their own kids!!!

I personally wouldn't say seeing my DH in a dress is the same as letting a little toddler or a younger child dress up in clothes designed for the opposite sex.

Savourysenorita:

Would you tell a Muslim they should feel free to eat pork if they wanted to because it's a ridiculous notion that they shouldn't?
Yes. Of course. It is, indeed, ridiculous, at least for the reason they tend to offer.

Would you tell a lady from dubai that she should feel free to wear a bikini if she's hot in summer?
Yes. Of course, anyone should be free to wear what they like.

Would you tell a jehovas witness they should feel free to celebrate christmas because their poor little children are missing out?
Yes, although that is one of the minor mistreatments JWs inflict on their poor little children.

You disagree: ' No ,' you say, ' because you respect their culture. We leave them to it and don't try to rationalise their beliefs.'

However, there is a difference between respect for other people (which connects with respect for other cultures) and respect for beliefs. It is not at all contradictory to have respect for others and their culture whilst criticising their beliefs, of course in appropriate contexts and with appropriate manner. I have lots of respect for my muslim friends and acquaintances, but very little for their religious beliefs. Likewise my christian friends and acquaintances. Many of them are fine people, but their religious beliefs are nonsense, as I will explain at appropriate moments; yes, giving reasons (is this what you take 'rationalising' to mean?).

To do otherwise to fail to criticise a false and/or harmful belief of some group or other out of a misunderstanding of what tolerance and respect demand of us is just patronising. It shows a lack of respect for someone if you can see where they are mistaken but refrain from explaining to them.

Of course I may be wrong. Perhaps it is indeed a good thing to acknowledge Christ as my saviour, to deny my children blood transfusions, or to refrain from eating pork because a certain medieval god mandated so. But if I am wrong, I want to be told so -- and I want to hear the reasons why I am wrong. ' Do-as-you-would-be-done-by ' applies.

Many people mistake tolerance and respect for other people with relativism of various kinds. Our respect for others, wholly desirable though it be, does not entail their beliefs are as respectable as ours.

As for boys wearing what they like. Sure, why not? All the reasons offered for denying them the chance seem to me bad ones (some just plain sexist, of course). My own children now grown, I refrain from telling them what to wear; grandchildren wear whatever they like when I am looking after them (which sadly has been less in recent times), given what their parents supply, for the most part. Sometimes a grandson will choose a dress; that is fine with me.

Bullied for what he wears? Tackle the bullies, not the victim.

But, yes, of course circumstances alter cases. In Dubai it would not be sensible seriously to try to persuade someone to wear a bikini. Likewise, there might be times and places where you would want to secure your child's safety by adjusting the clothes he wears. We should temper the wind to the shorn lamb as Sterne reminded us.

You might not allow your son to attend at the Den in Millwall wearing a Chelsea replica shirt; likewise, there may be cases/places/situations where you would temper the wind by explaining to a small boy why he might not want to wear his dress.

The principle stays, though: boys (all of us) should be allowed to wear dresses if they (we) want to.

Or, to phrase it with a greater parallel to the way it's been phrased about little boys, if he only wanted his little girl to wear dresses and skirts because he likes his women girly/feminine?

My question, for the people who don't want their little boys in dresses because they are not attracted to men in dresses, is how would you feel about a dad who didn't want his little girl to wear trousers because he only finds women in dresses sexy?