Would you ok your son wearing a dress?

I can understand why you've done it Dido, but in the context of what you've said it came across as passive aggressive.

My point was that he has worn outwardly feminine things and he has worn more passively feminine things. Maybe coloured shirts weren't the best example of that - he will sometimes wear my (relatively feminine) jumpers if they suit him and he likes them. That's the example that I was trying to provide, that he has dressed brashly feminine but he still has tints of feminine style even when there's a social and employment-related pressure to dress masculinely additionally given the nature of his work. I never insinuated that to be groundbreaking, I was responding to the question "would you fancy your husband in a dress?" and I said "yes, I would because here is his style that is occasionally feminine which I don't object to at all".

Could you please tag meDidorather than vaguely referencing things I've said if you'd like to comment on them?

Tagging is usually frowned on FWR and even if it wasn't, I wasn't going to plough back through goodness knows how many pages to find out who made the comment. It's hardly unusual to refer to "a poster said"

Pastels aren't feminine. Pale blue, pink, or yellow shirts are standard wear with a formal suit. It's practically a uniform for City workers, lawyers, accountants and the like. So much so I can't really see the point of mentioning it.

Anything for attention and drama these days and we all have to be ok with it
Unless your a preschooler No

I'm sure your husband looked lovely in his flowered shirt, but sorry, that is about as gender ground breaking as the poster who thinks her husband is making some sort of statement wearing pink shirts

Could you please tag me Dido rather than vaguely referencing things I've said if you'd like to comment on them?
I said he wore "feminine" pastel shirts which in this context can mean pink. I never said he was groundbreaking for it, but I've met men in my life who would never be caught dead in a "woman's colour" as ridiculous as that is... He's also previously worn a dress, and has gone out once in one of my wigs, and lets me do his makeup and paint his nails. I also pluck his eyebrows, all of which are stereotypically feminine things (as of this point in time). Whether you want to consider that "groundbreaking" or not is up to you, but let's not deride my point based on one example I provided that didn't pack as much punch as the others you chose not to reference.

I can’t say I disagree with you. Pink/floral prints for men I’m cool with.... but dresses absolutely not!

*I have an all black kilt (no Scottish heritage that I know of) that I wear in the summer when it's hot.

Though 'hot' in Scotland is a relative term.*

Yes, the hottest I remember it being is about 25C and I remember thinking that was disgustingly sweltering Still, means I can forsake bulky jackets in winter as I'm acclimatised to the North Pole!

Figure this - DH and pretty much all the men and DS all worse kilts at our wedding as were a large Scottish family. DH also wears T-shirt’s and the like in pinks and with flowers on and even on our first date he wore a flowered shirt and combat trousers

Kilts are irrelevant to this discussion. Kilts are culturally a man's garment since roughly the C16th occaionally (allowing for period of banning after 1745) appropriated by women and girls at private schools.

I'm sure your husband looked lovely in his flowered shirt, but sorry, that is about as gender ground breaking as the poster who thinks her husband is making some sort of statement wearing pink shirts. My husband buys suits from as conservative and traditional a tailor as you could hope to find and they stock both and he owns both.

@ncbby

I grew up in Scotland (mostly) and I like the look of a man in a kilt but I would usually think it had some kind of familial or cultural tie to it. I'm not sure there's a "Styles" tartan either

Though 'hot' in Scotland is a relative term.

I'd have thought it was cultural appropriation to wear a kilt if not Scottish. Could be wrong though

You are wrong. Kilts come in all sorts of fabric now- leather, tweed, plain flannel, pin stripe, Missoni stripes, not just tartan. Vin Diesel looked rather splendid in a leather kilt. Jean-Paul Gaultier used to regularly wear a tartan kilt- often paired with a stripy Breton/ Kurt Cobain top.

Figure this - DH and pretty much all the men and DS all worse kilts at our wedding as were a large Scottish family. DH also wears T-shirt’s and the like in pinks and with flowers on and even on our first date he wore a flowered shirt and combat trousers.

I genuinely don’t care how others dress, it bares no impact on me. I draw the line at my DS wearing a dress though, for no other reason, he struggles to fit in at the best of times - so I just think a dress would be like red rag to a bull for unwanted attention.

Cultural appropriation is an idea spun out from on the concept of intellectual property, which is a legal fiction. One with some use but which legally that it has limits in time for good reason.

Kilts have appeared in many cultures, in any case.

I grew up in Scotland (mostly) and I like the look of a man in a kilt but I would usually think it had some kind of familial or cultural tie to it. I'm not sure there's a "Styles" tartan either

On a final note - you say you have a toddler, now they may be your 4th child....or your first.

If they are your first, it would be interesting to see if you still hold the same views when they’re at school and trying to fit in! It’s easier to have ideological views when you’re not faced with the reality.

The kilt is an interesting point, or a sarong, or any of the other outfits that are materially the same as dresses or skirts but are considered men's clothing. Why would Harry Styles or some random bloke or boy not wear a kilt, which would fit and look better on him than it is likely to on a woman, if he wants a skirt type garment? A sarong or centurion style skirt might be a bit too culturally weird though could be possible, but a kilt is pretty standardly recognised as a male garment.

I'd have thought it was cultural appropriation to wear a kilt if not Scottish. Could be wrong though.

GAH! Must put the bloody phone down...

No one else has answered and it’s appears to have been turned in to something more than the question that was asked.

FWIW, DH generally wears his hair long but wouldn't wear a dress (I have asked). I wouldn't mind at all if he did.

If the idea is to appear as a woman, the dress is just a prop, and any other prop that signals woman will do.

The kilt is an interesting point, or a sarong, or any of the other outfits that are materially the same as dresses or skirts but are considered men's clothing. Why would Harry Styles or some random bloke or boy not wear a kilt, which would fit and look better on him than it is likely to on a woman, if he wants a skirt type garment? A sarong or centurion style skirt might be a bit too culturally weird though could be possible, but a kilt is pretty standardly recognised as a male garment.

One answer might be that it's because they don't want a garment associated with men, they are looking for one associated with women. Why?

Wasn’t a hard question really....

Okay that's great @TableFlowerss. I was just asking you to quote anything you thought was skirting around the issue as I thought you might mean me. E.g you might have thought I was answering to prove a point rather than what I actually felt (which I wasn't, he's a very pretty man in a dress )

I wasn't talking about little boys. I was talking about all grown up men.

And yet this thread is about children... All right guys, this is getting circular and I really need to sleep. Thanks for the interesting debate. Night all.

The question was asked whether those willing to send their DC to school in a dress, would be equally happy about a date turning up in a dress.

@DidoLamenting

Answered honestly and said ‘actually no I wouldn’t’. Totally respect her openness and honesty.

No one else has answered and it’s appears to have been turned in to something more than the question that was asked.

I actually wasn’t referring to you at all. To be fair to you, you answered the question in the first paragraph saying about your DH looking nice in a dress!

Sorry didn't link that at all to the point ^^ I think it may be the same for men who like to wear dresses for the sexual fetish, I think it might decrease if non-fetishist men wore dresses or skirts casually because the stigma or shame would be removed

Isn't a fetish usually based on the taboo? So remove the taboo around men wearing dresses and you remove the potential for said fetish?

That's actually an interesting point! The amount of young men (who I've either dated or had friendships with) who have foot fetishes is actually very surprisingly high. It's slightly unrelated but I think it may be because hardcore porn is so normalised, and I think feet are still something people commonly have an "ew" response to which maybe makes it attractive in a repressed way.

Has been very honest, unlike some people..... trying to deflect their answers, which I’m not altogether sure I believe on an Internet forum.

Mate, it's 32 minutes past midnight and my toddler is going to wake me up at half five. Could we cut the cryptic crossword stuff and just say what we mean?