Page 23 | Would you ok your son wearing a dress?

KristinaJup · 2020-12-12T18:46:53+00:00

Candace Owens recently tweeted (in response to Harry Styles wearing a dress on a magazine cover) "Bring Back Manly Men".. amongst other things. Who really cares if a guy wears tutus and glittery dresses? Prince was hot af in his heels and Makeup. Imo I would have no problem with it at all if my son wanted to put on a skirt but the tweet gained a lot of traction and I saw quite a few memes and lots of fingers pointed at feminism for "ruining men" If we carry on this way the next thing will be....women should not be wearing trousers! What do you think?

Savourysenorita · 12/12/2020 21:41

@LeglessGiraffe

I have let my son wear a dress along with a flower in his hair, out in public, but he's only 4. I hate that boy's clothes increasingly seem only to be available in various shades of blue, grey or mud. He loves bright colours and glitter and I'll continue to support his choice of clothes.

If only we lived in a world where both boys and girls could dress in whatever clothes they liked, play with whatever toys they liked, have whatever career aspirations they liked, without being pigeon-holed by stereotypes.

Are you not concerned that by allowing your son to dress on girls clothes in public that you're making him a potential target for ridicule? Fair or unfair it is the way it is. You might be big enough and wise enough to shake it off. But your 4year old isn't. It'll become very confusing when he starts to get odd comments and comes home crying all for you to make a very adult point of equality in gender. I don't mean this to you personally but I can't help but see it as a lack of parental guidance for the protection of your child. If they're 13,14 they're old enough to start having discussions with that's a, little different. But at 4 - just because you think the works Should accept it doesn't mean they DO. A boy dressing up as a 'girl' (which is how it'll be viewed) is not the 'norm' for a young child and he just hasn't got the wisdom to shield the criticism.

yourhairiswinterfire · 12/12/2020 21:40

@Awarethebear

Yes Simon you go tell your imaginary shalwar kameez wearing Christian friends whatever it is you would like to tell them. Don't forget to take your meds while you're there lol.

God, you're obnoxious. Implying someone has a mental health issue and then mocking them for it is out of order.

jj1968 · 12/12/2020 21:38

Ta @DidoLamenting

I also think where it did happen, with a couple of exceptions, it wasn't really about men being feminine, it was more about dandyism, in many ways another kind of performance of masculinity. They were the 'lovers not fighters', often aggresively heterosexual and in a lot of cases very misogynist. Bands like Duran Duran and the american big hair glam bands may have adopted a certain form of aggresive androgyny, but their music videos were full of half naked women writhing around. It was as if for man to present that way then he had to double up on toxic masculinity to compensate.

Obviously there were a couple of exceptions mostly on the London gay scene like Boy George, but I think people forget just how much he was despised by many people, especially the older generation of men. Any boy who'd admitted to liking Boy George or Marilyn at my school would have been relentlessly bullied. Even Wham or Adam Ant made you a bit suspect. The reality of the streets of Northern cities was very different to the Soho nightclubs the new romantics favoured.

Helmetbymidnight · 12/12/2020 21:37

yeah, why not?

now they're of an age to make their own decisions and anticipate consequences, sure. id happily go out with them wearing most things.

Awarethebear · 12/12/2020 21:35

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midgebabe · 12/12/2020 21:34

How the hell is wear8ng a dress anything like wearing a condom?
One requires a dick, which only men have. The other requires a body which both men and women possess !

LeglessGiraffe · 12/12/2020 21:32

I have let my son wear a dress along with a flower in his hair, out in public, but he's only 4. I hate that boy's clothes increasingly seem only to be available in various shades of blue, grey or mud. He loves bright colours and glitter and I'll continue to support his choice of clothes.

If only we lived in a world where both boys and girls could dress in whatever clothes they liked, play with whatever toys they liked, have whatever career aspirations they liked, without being pigeon-holed by stereotypes.

Savourysenorita · 12/12/2020 21:32

@user131426479642

boys - as children - wearing dresses its just not right

Why?

Oh ffs. Stop feigning ignorance

do you REALLY have to ask that? It's like insisting a women wears a male condom.

midgebabe · 12/12/2020 21:32

Btw, I totally get the concern about potential bullying

midgebabe · 12/12/2020 21:31

Why should women have more choice in clothe styles then men and boys? There is no justification. Surely letting boys and men express themselves in different ways would be good? Why should men not want pretty dresses and make up? You want equality except you want men to stick to a rigid and harmful masculine role? Pathetic

Savourysenorita · 12/12/2020 21:28

No I wouldn't OK it. Its confusing them and sticking them directly in the firing line for being bullied. We can all pretend a dress is 'just material' but we all know it is a female item of clothing. Some things are still attributed to gender and that's not such a terrible thing. We don't permenently have to challenge absolutely everything that separates male and female all of the time. Would I let my 18 Yr old son wear a dress? Yes. If that's what he wanted. He's an adult and old enough to understand what he is doing and why he is doing and has the ability to balance counter arguments about his choices if needs be. The maturity is there. Would I allow my 5 year old to wear a dress for school? Absolutely not. It's all parents with their own agendas impressing it on to their kids. It's borderline abusive imo.

DidoLamenting · 12/12/2020 21:26

Cornrows aren’t clothes

Gosh ! Thanks for putting me right! !

I included corn rows as an example of a style which has caused considerable controversy over cultural appropriation since it seems to be a concept unknown to you.

SpudulikaSlob · 12/12/2020 21:26

It's such a shame when I want to comment on threads in FWR and the derailers have already been in and messed everything up.

midgebabe · 12/12/2020 21:25

@Awarethebear

No that wasn't what I was insinuating, that is what you said to try get off the subject of your dishonesty. Christians don't wear shalwar kameez and especially not at weddings and funerals.

Why not ? Especially if the groom asked ?

midgebabe · 12/12/2020 21:24

I think the concern over potential cultural approbation is slightly different to an opinion that men should not wear dresses . Because perhaps I would like to think that the discrimination between men and women was no longer as strong a problem as racism at least in the uk

SimonJT · 12/12/2020 21:24

@Awarethebear

No that wasn't what I was insinuating, that is what you said to try get off the subject of your dishonesty. Christians don't wear shalwar kameez and especially not at weddings and funerals.

I’ll go and tell my friends that they’re pretending to be christians, I must say they’re obviously incredible actors.

Awarethebear · 12/12/2020 21:24

No that wasn't what I was insinuating, that is what you said to try get off the subject of your dishonesty. Christians don't wear shalwar kameez and especially not at weddings and funerals.

Chumleymouse · 12/12/2020 21:23

No not where I live , he’d get the shit kicked out of him ....... or worse 😮

SendHelp30 · 12/12/2020 21:22

No I wouldn’t.

TheGremlinsAreComing · 12/12/2020 21:22

My son has worn dresses. And tutus. He can wear whatever he likes.

SimonJT · 12/12/2020 21:21

@Awarethebear

O so it was a wedding or a funeral you attended now haha your wholes just getting deeper.

No, but of course I have attended both weddings and funerals thay have taken place in a church. Do you really think non-christians wouldn’t attend weddings and funerals in a church?

PumpkinWitch · 12/12/2020 21:21

@SimonJT

He can wear what he likes as long as it doesn’t need ironing.

This is the best answer. Who wants to do ironing.

DS likes to dress up and wears all sorts of outfits and wears them out of the house.

It is sad that children get bullied and made to feel that they can’t express themselves. A lot of boys wouldn’t feel brave enough to go out in a dress. I hope that will change.

midgebabe · 12/12/2020 21:20

Christian events does sound more like weddings and Batista and funerals to me more than mass on sundays !

SimonJT · 12/12/2020 21:20

@DidoLamenting

Why would someones skin colour have an impact on what they wear?

Are you seriously saying you have never come across any discussion ever as to whether it is acceptable for white women to wear saris, shalwar kameez, cheongsam or corn rows?

No I haven’t. Lots of white people wear sari, not all people from the subcontinent are dark skinned. People are encouraged to wear sari, shalwar etc at events or day to day by a great many of the communities they are traditionally worn by. My white partner will be wearing a shalwar kameez during part of our wedding ceremony.

Cornrows aren’t clothes.

Kanaloa · 12/12/2020 21:20

I wouldn’t personally have an issue with it, my younger son wears a nightie at home since he has issues around uncomfy clothes/feeling restricted in bed.

I also wouldn’t actively encourage my sons to go out in a dress. I think in our area people would be nasty. Although I encourage my kids to stand up to bullies, I also wouldn’t want to give nasty kids any unnecessary ammunition.