Page 18 | Would you ok your son wearing a dress?

KristinaJup · 2020-12-12T18:46:53+00:00

Candace Owens recently tweeted (in response to Harry Styles wearing a dress on a magazine cover) "Bring Back Manly Men".. amongst other things. Who really cares if a guy wears tutus and glittery dresses? Prince was hot af in his heels and Makeup. Imo I would have no problem with it at all if my son wanted to put on a skirt but the tweet gained a lot of traction and I saw quite a few memes and lots of fingers pointed at feminism for "ruining men" If we carry on this way the next thing will be....women should not be wearing trousers! What do you think?

BigBaublesGalore · 13/12/2020 00:14

@Crystalclair
Sorry, but if you allow your son to wear a dress outside of the home, you are literally setting him up for misery. He will very likely be targeted. No, this is not victim blaming- in an ideal world we could all wear what we want. But it's not an ideal world is it?

And while some may say that in order to change people's negative views we must stand for what's right- don't use your child who is not emotionally intelligent enough or experienced and resilient enough as your prop in order to do so!

I think there are many parents these days who just choose to be controversial to be seen as edgy and current. Like only buying their son pink, tutu's, dollies. And their daughter's dressed in typical boys style clothes playing with trucks etc.

For the record, my kids could play with whatever they wanted and dress how THEY chose at home. But I didn't have to buy my boys barbies and pink dresses just to seem pc.

No I just simply don't agree with this! My son is 7 and I'm so pleased I didn't tell him he couldn't wear the light up pink sketchers trainers and rainbow dresses he was so desperate to wear. We've spoke about the prejudice he will face no doubt and the closed minded people he will meet and has met but overall he's had a very supportive and brilliant response from his friends and his school who have got used to him and who he is... he wears a sparkly pink coat to school and a sparkly hat and he's in his element. I was worried sick about what he would face but I think you'd be surprised how many people encourage him and love who he is... I think it's keyboard warriors and people who wouldn't dare to be different who spout off online... in reality they wouldn't say boo to a goose! I personally look down wherever I walk because I'm horrendously shy, I don't post anything on Facebook, I'm as far from edgy and current and I keep myself to myself. We just are who we are and I couldn't be more proud of my son

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 13/12/2020 00:14

If it was my eldest adult child he really would have to take a lawnmower to his legs though

I know this was said as a laugh, and youre not the only one to have said it, but why would that be expected? Because a dress/skirt is womens clothes and women are expected to be clean shaven and smooth? Again buying into gender stereotypes. Presumably peoples ds's wear shorts without shaving their legs? Why would it be different for a dress or skirt?

Crystalclair · 13/12/2020 00:14

Savory- I think we are the minority!

I've seen it first hand - couple have a baby girl, pink is the anti christ! Girl becomes toddler and is not allowed to wear a dress as its "not practical". Fair enough - makes sense to me. BUT, same couple go on to have a boy. But all of the sudden the boy is running around the soft play with a sparkly dress and tights because "ohh we don't want our son to conform to stereotypes, he is free to wear what he wants"

But we all know that's not the case, because he isn't actually deciding what he wants to wear, because you are! Because you have an agenda. And I'm sure the dress in question was super practical at the softplay 🙄

Savourysenorita · 13/12/2020 00:11

@TeenyTinyDustinHoffman

Savoury, you seem to be under the impression that people are forcing their sons into dresses in order to make a statement? I'm not going to make him wear a dress. My mother never made my brother wear a dress, it was something that he wanted to do, she just didn't forbid it. My brother, now in his 20s, is of perfectly sound mind and character and has- against all the odds- somehow managed never to mistake a dress for a condom or a tattoo or whatever other bollocks has been spouted on here.

But without guidance to what is "socially appropriate" you're not patenting in my opinion. (bear in mind we are specifically talking about children here) a parents job is to guide their children because the children simply do not know about society and the cultural "norms" (we all have them I'm afraid and we're very lucky in a Christian Liberal country that ours are rather Liberal) it wouldn't be appropriate for me to send my ds into school wearing purple socks because his school uniform states he wears black socks. Should I tell school he needs to 'express himself'? Sometimes there are societal rules (either written or unwritten) and it's our job to guide our children what is appropriate to protect and develop them.

TeenyTinyDustinHoffman · 13/12/2020 00:09

It's loaded because you've chosen it to be. My original statement remains the same in essence..... The world has gone crazy that we're all judgey against mums who have some kind of societal boundaries/norms when bringing up their CHILDREN. Anyone that dares to say 'you know what. I would discourage my (under 18)son wearing a dress because I don't think it's "normal" in our society would be attacked left right and centre. Freedom of speech is only allowed to exist where its left wing - pc approved.

Who exactly is silencing you? You have the freedom to share whatever opinions on fashion you like. What you are describing is people disagreeing with you.

Savourysenorita · 13/12/2020 00:05

@Crystalclair

Sorry, but if you allow your son to wear a dress outside of the home, you are literally setting him up for misery. He will very likely be targeted. No, this is not victim blaming- in an ideal world we could all wear what we want. But it's not an ideal world is it?

And while some may say that in order to change people's negative views we must stand for what's right- don't use your child who is not emotionally intelligent enough or experienced and resilient enough as your prop in order to do so!

I think there are many parents these days who just choose to be controversial to be seen as edgy and current. Like only buying their son pink, tutu's, dollies. And their daughter's dressed in typical boys style clothes playing with trucks etc.

For the record, my kids could play with whatever they wanted and dress how THEY chose at home. But I didn't have to buy my boys barbies and pink dresses just to seem pc.

I couldn't have worded it more perfectly. Thank you. You've said what I've been trying to articulate. Spot on

BigBaublesGalore · 13/12/2020 00:05

@AGnu

I don't like dresses at all & have only ever bought 1 for my DD when she was a baby & we had to go to a v hot summer wedding. I avoid buying dresses for any of my DC!

My DS's favourite colour has been pink since he was old enough to express an opinion. I suspect partly because he knows I don't like pink & he likes to tease me. I genuinely don't care & have bought him pink clothes from the "girls'" section. Mostly PJs though because I'm v conscious that he has ASD & can be quite vulnerable & I don't want to make him an easy target for bullies. He can wear what he wants in the house though. He's probably owned more pink things than DD!

I think it's a shame that you don't let him wear what he wants outside the house. I understand your concerns but I feel we should be encouraging our kids not to change their ways because of what others will think. I was desperately worried for my DS when he chose his first pink trainers but I couldn't bring myself to tell him no based on my fear of others. I was worried people would suck the wind from his sails. Since then he's chose more and more items of clothing from the 'girls' section. His friends are all really supportive, sure some kids have asked him why he's wearing girls clothes but we spoke about that together and he was ready for it and tells them to mind their own business.

TeenyTinyDustinHoffman · 13/12/2020 00:04

Savoury, you seem to be under the impression that people are forcing their sons into dresses in order to make a statement?
I'm not going to make him wear a dress. My mother never made my brother wear a dress, it was something that he wanted to do, she just didn't forbid it.
My brother, now in his 20s, is of perfectly sound mind and character and has- against all the odds- somehow managed never to mistake a dress for a condom or a tattoo or whatever other bollocks has been spouted on here.

Savourysenorita · 13/12/2020 00:04

@ReeseWitherfork

One where we start telling mothers they're odd because they're not 'totes cool' about their son prancing around in a dress...

Why are they now "prancing"? That's a very loaded undertone. So you've made it clear you're not happy with sons in dresses, how do you feel about "prancing" in other clothes?

It's loaded because you've chosen it to be. My original statement remains the same in essence..... The world has gone crazy that we're all judgey against mums who have some kind of societal boundaries/norms when bringing up their CHILDREN. Anyone that dares to say 'you know what. I would discourage my (under 18)son wearing a dress because I don't think it's "normal" in our society would be attacked left right and centre. Freedom of speech is only allowed to exist where its left wing - pc approved.

Crystalclair · 13/12/2020 00:02

Sorry, but if you allow your son to wear a dress outside of the home, you are literally setting him up for misery. He will very likely be targeted. No, this is not victim blaming- in an ideal world we could all wear what we want. But it's not an ideal world is it?

And while some may say that in order to change people's negative views we must stand for what's right- don't use your child who is not emotionally intelligent enough or experienced and resilient enough as your prop in order to do so!

I think there are many parents these days who just choose to be controversial to be seen as edgy and current. Like only buying their son pink, tutu's, dollies. And their daughter's dressed in typical boys style clothes playing with trucks etc.

For the record, my kids could play with whatever they wanted and dress how THEY chose at home. But I didn't have to buy my boys barbies and pink dresses just to seem pc.

ReeseWitherfork · 12/12/2020 23:53

One where we start telling mothers they're odd because they're not 'totes cool' about their son prancing around in a dress...

Why are they now "prancing"? That's a very loaded undertone. So you've made it clear you're not happy with sons in dresses, how do you feel about "prancing" in other clothes?

Ingridla · 12/12/2020 23:46

@SimonJT

He can wear what he likes as long as it doesn’t need ironing.

Savourysenorita · 12/12/2020 23:44

@CookieMumsters

wearing dresses its just not right, and imo parents accepting this as normal behaviour or even encouraging it are toxic and its more child abuse, setting them up for a life of bullying.

Best way to avoid bullying - stop the bullies. Not change how someone dresses.

But that's an adult debate. Not one to use your kid as propaganda in.

kobo · 12/12/2020 23:43

My daughter got the Spider-Man reversible outfit aged three, one side blue and red the other black. She loved saving people. This as the youngest of 3 girls. Now 18 years later she still does ballet taken up aged 10. Her male cousin used to love dresses, again a heterosexual 20 year old let's just key kids be kids.

Savourysenorita · 12/12/2020 23:43

@IAmADNAMA

My son can wear whatever makes him happy. Of course he has to wear school uniform but doesn't have to be a boys uniform.

I just want him to feel happy and accepted. He will never be judged by me. This world is a crazy place and I like to think he could come to me about anything and I'd be his safe space.

Honestly, he will be whoever he wants to be and my love for him wouldn't change.

Yes you're right. This world is indeed a crazy place. One where we start telling mothers they're odd because they're not 'totes cool' about their son prancing around in a dress...

CookieMumsters · 12/12/2020 23:41

wearing dresses its just not right, and imo parents accepting this as normal behaviour or even encouraging it are toxic and its more child abuse, setting them up for a life of bullying.

Best way to avoid bullying - stop the bullies. Not change how someone dresses.

Truelymadlydeeplysomeonesmum · 12/12/2020 23:38

My sons can wear dresses if they like. Clothes are clothes. Would maybe worry about bullying for school age kids.

If it was my eldest adult child he really would have to take a lawnmower to his legs though

DidoLamenting · 12/12/2020 23:37

Like a Miss Havisham who’d spent the weekend living in the garden during Storm Gareth, eating worms

Agreed- it was a horrible dress and it didn't fit him. I also agree that the fawning over Harry Styles just because he's wearing a dress is ridiculous. I can't think of any that were attractive or that he looked good in.

I don't know who the bloke in the black dress on this thread is but he looks much better than Harry Styles. There's a thread about Grayson Perry- the black dress Perry is wearing in the picture in the opening post in that looks much better too.

Pyewhacket · 12/12/2020 23:29

His older sisters would rip the shit out of him if he tried.

TheGreatSloth · 12/12/2020 23:27

I thought Harry Styles looked awful. The colour was completely wrong for him - it made his skin look grey. The dress was unstructured in a bad way - it wore him rather than vice versa. The material looked cheap & nasty. He needed something to bring our skin and eye and hair colour and to flatter his physique. Instead he just appeared to be draped in a dismal dishcloth. Like a Miss Havisham who’d spent the weekend living in the garden during Storm Gareth, eating worms.

This is actually something that pisses me off. So many men seem to think they can just throw on a dress and look great in it, because they’re men and so naturally stunning etc etc. They can’t. They need to think about what suits their skin and hair and shape if they want to look good in a dress (just like they think about these things with shirts & jackets).

But they just seem to think the world will swoon and grovel with admiration even if they fling on something that doesn’t suit them at all. The arrogance is really irritating.

MedusasBadHairDay · 12/12/2020 23:25

Totally happy with my DS wearing dresses if he wants to, just have to hope he doesn't run into any of the pillocks on this thread who think it's not ok

I'll admit a little nervousness that he might get picked on, but also know he's got a couple of ex-goths for parents, and I certainly haven't dialed things down since having him. So would hope he's learnt that people are allowed to dress "differently" and it's not their fault if other people have a problem with it

DidoLamenting · 12/12/2020 23:16

@ReeseWitherfork

Have we talked about the fact that a boy/man wearing a dress doesn't make him transgender? There seem to be some posts which assume that would be the case but I might be reading between the lines incorrectly.

Nobody has suggested that.

DidoLamenting · 12/12/2020 23:13

@Blubellsarebells

IN THE UK boys in Scotland wear kilts. Scotland is still in the UK. Much to many people's disappointment I know.

Fgs- the whole point is a kilt is a recognised cultural exception. How many times does that have to be said ? Constantly pointing out "but men in Scotland wear kilts" adds nothing to the debate.

It's not even a valid comparison. Kilts are a male garment appropriated by (a) female Highland dancers (b) tweedy women in the WRI and (c) girls at private schools.

DidoLamenting · 12/12/2020 23:05

@Savourysenorita

I must admit.... He looks quite cool

He does- unless of course he's doing it for kicks- but no doubt the FWR mind readers will be along soon to tell us if he's an acceptable bloke in a dress or one of the dodgy ones, like the one in pencil skirts who was discussed a few weeks ago.

DontStopThinkingAboutTomorrow · 12/12/2020 23:04

Agree, in my school there were way more girls in top set science and maths than boys. Sat my GCSEs in school year 1999/2000.