Would you ok your son wearing a dress?

@Eminybob If either of my dss said they wanted to wear a dress to school, the only reason I’d discourage it would be because I know that the school will have had Mermaids swoop in and he’d come home having been convinced he’s a girl

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This is one of my fears. My ds does wear a mix of 'boys and girls' clothes but he's not wanting to be a girl. Being only 7 he doesn't know it's medically possible. The school so far have been very supportive of his choices and there's no sign of mermaids or the like although I have read horror stories that they operate without the parents knowledge?

Just reading the posts after I went to bed, I’m genuinely surprised by the number of posters who are pro-patriarchy and in the boys can do this and girls can do that camp.

It wouldn’t bother me I don’t think. One of ds’s school friends (he’s 6) wears princess dresses to birthday parties and genuinely no one bats an eyelid. Obviously as he gets older it may get more attention (although we haven’t been to a class birthday party this year for obvious reasons so he may not wear them any more)

I know it isn’t the societal norm, but I think it should be that men (and women) can wear whatever the hell they like without it being a big deal. And certainly without it meaning they are trans or whatever else.

That’s what gets me. If either of my dss said they wanted to wear a dress to school, the only reason I’d discourage it would be because I know that the school will have had Mermaids swoop in and he’d come home having been convinced he’s a girl

I just think - what is he trying to do there? The dress doesn't do much for him, and he doesn't do anything for it.

That's potentially true, Dido. I suppose there is always a bit of a competition as to who can be the next legend amongst celebrities, and maybe wearing dresses is a part of that to a certain extent.

I think the grey dress in Vogue was very unattractive (but I don't like the square neckline ruched thing as it reminds me of the dresses I wore when I was a little girl). I don't dislike the one I've attached though - it looks a little matronly but it's my favourite out of the ones he's worn.

Little kids like to role play and dress up, and I don't think that is all that big a deal.

Most kids then go through a period of being rigid about social norms, then older kids sensitive to them but are able to understand they aren't absolutes.

IME older kids, usually teens, who want to flout them are usually doing it to be edgy, or do gender reversal type things, or get attention. Which is what I'd say Harry Styles is about. He might really like dresses, and I don't think it's likely sexual, but it's probably in part about the contrast of masculinity and femininity. And there is a reason this is something you see especially with rock stars or stage costumes. I suspect Prince wasn't watching tv wearing heels, or even going down to the 7-11. It's a performance.

If my son wanted to wear a woman's dress, he can, but I'd be inclined to think it wasn't due to some overwhelming urge to wear a dress so much as a desire to make some kind of a statement.

ASatisfyingThump

I think there is a massive difference between a 4-year old dressing up and a 12 year old wearing a dress outside. Who cares what a young kid wears. The OP is asking about older children x

Harry Styles doesn't wear dresses because he likes them, he wears dresses because they will get him talked about. And therefore he will stay famous.

The two aren't necessarily mutually exclusive

I would discourage my boys - I have 3 of them. My oldest is a very good dancer, just been accepted into a prestigious dance school, and my youngest has what would be called 'girls toys'. So I am not one of these mums who thinks boys should be 'manly', whatever that means. However I have brought my children up to be proud of who they are and be confident in their own skin. I want them to be proud of being men, as I would want them to be proud of being women if they were. I also happen to be from the east end. So if my 11 year old said 'i want to wear a dress for a party', I'd tell him not to be so fucking stupid.

I don't think it would be "emasculation" if it were voluntary.

Actually with trendy stuff that will fade it’s best to watch and wait even if that means appearing ignorant.
I’m not envisioning a totally gender neutral world yet. And I’m not convinced it’s a healthy pursuit to emasculate boys.

I really wouldn’t care if I was labelled old fashioned or ignorant etc (because I am)

You are comfortable being ignorant?

I’m secure enough that I really wouldn’t care if I was labelled old fashioned or ignorant etc (because I am). But young children’s brains are not fully developed till their early 20’s, so until they are of a reasonable age some decisions are mine and in most cases a fathers decision to make. I wonder how many father would be okay with their sons wearing dresses.
As for HS, celebrities will do anything for money and 5 minutes of publicity. Fakers through and through.

(Full disclosure, I've googled these images so I don't know any context or gender identity involved) but these are some men who I thought looked quite nice in a dress.

If I had a son, I'd let him wear whatever he liked if it was comfortable and practical. I'd try and put safeguards in place to protect him from danger, but I wouldn't feel it was my place to enforce he wore masculine clothes.

My DS can do as he pleases.

bushhbb

It always happens in these threads- posters think they have some sort of gotcha that dresses are mainstream wear for women because the Archbishop of Canterbury wears a "dress" or men in Scotland wear "skirts"

The reality is of course that clerical robes are not dresses in any way that a dress is a socially constructed feminised garment.

Kilts have always been a men's garment- women appropriated them.

I do think some posters are getting the wrong end of the stick however about what the OP was about. It isn't "would you encourage your son to wear a dress" but "would you not discourage him if he wanted to?"

(Although those posters do have a point that pink, sparkly, "impractical" dresses do seem to become unobjectionable if a boy wants to wear them)

Would I be ok with my son wearing a dress? Yes, I would and I wouldn't discourage him athough as he's 30 now I wouldn't have much say (they couldn't be any worse than the hideous phase he went through of wearing Adidas tracksuit bottoms bought from second hand shops, which I'm sure was a reaction to his thinking I'm snobbish. They were vile)

Ds has barely been out of his galabeyas for weeks. Long frock for blokes, very comfy & he wears tracky bottoms underneath if it's cold.

We are in the ME, & ds has a strict sixth form dress code to observe for school - he's expected to be in western smart business attire.

If he wanted to wear a skirt suit to school, I'd have his back.

If my son wanted to wear something like that out, I wouldn't mind, but he'd look a bit odd, it's not typical clothing

But it's not the same as I'm wearing a poofy princess dress out the house and being outright stared at and possibly bullied

I don't think honestly anybody is debating a cloak like that image. We're talking about typically and overtly feminine dresses for boys

With other clothes underneath

Nor is it figure-hugging to accentuate female curves. It's just ambiguous cloth. It's not the same, really

OK so if one simply stated 'I don't want my little boy to wear a dress because I believe its a girls item of clothes' (something many people say and think behind closed doors but darent voice for fear of being labelled all manner of things) would you simply accept it or what it be met with 'you're out of date' 'old fashioned' 'ignorant' 'uneducated' I e 'you're wrong'
I'd probably avoid using those terms, as they aren't conducive to a civil discussion. But what you're asking is would I disagree with you, which is not the same as would I silence you.
I would tell you that I thought you were wrong and say why I thought that. I would ask you questions about why you thought what you did.
What I wouldn't do is encourage others to disregard you or bully you or demand that your posts be removed. In short, I wouldn't try and silence you.
Because I think it's wrong that someone should not be allowed to express themselves purely because of the opposing views of others.

I think we live in fear of what might happen but if every little boy who wanted to wear pink (or whatever they chose) out in the big world wasn't told from their own parents that they shouldn't or that it's just for home then it would soon become much more normalised.

Surely telling them they can't or it's just for home only gives the message it would be shameful/wrong. Then when they see a boy out who is wearing that stuff then they're going to naturally think of those negative lessons.

We are only on this earth once and once we're in the grave it doesn't matter at all what we wore, what we liked, what Margaret next door thought so why should anyone live by that? Wear what you want, fuck what anyone else thinks, it's your life.