Would you ok your son wearing a dress?

No, because I wouldn’t want him to be ridiculed.

Absolute load of bollox.
Gender is a social construct, and all things aimed at a particular gender are made by man, not nature. Biology has fuck all to do with a boy playing with a truck or a girl a doll.
Did you know that until fairly recently it was normal to have male toddlers in dresses with longer hair?en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breeching_(boys)considered completely normal and yet would be odd if it happened today.
Did you also know that it's also a fairly modern concept to have girls = pink and boys = blue, and that it used to be the other way around?

I used to agree with social constructionism up until I actually looked at studies where macaque monkeys had gendered toy preference and that even in hunter-gatherer societies these gender behaviours kind of prove that some behaviours are innate to someone's sex such as aggression, interests and sexual behaviour. Its universal in most societies including those who have had no influence from other more egalitarian societies.

Neither of my boys have ever shown any interest in wearing dresses but both of them had a preference for everything pink up until they started primary school. They both had plenty of pink t shirts etc and so called "girls" toys.

I personally wouldn't mind at all if they wanted to wear a dress but if I'm honest yes I would try to steer them away from the idea just because of what other people would think/say.
Which reminds me of the time my oldest fell in love with a pair of patent red Mary Janes and it broke my heart to say no and steer him to the mud-coloured boys shoes. I still feel awful about that and it was over 10 years ago!

I often see little boys in princess dresses and think nothing of it. They're just having fun playing dress up.

Cats- if I really need to explain about wellies on a hot day, then there is no hope...

I wouldn't have an issue.
It's no good just saying discourage it because they'd be ridiculed - we need to break down the toxic attitudes about why it is "wrong". What does it matter what clothing someone has on (as long as it is clean and comfortable)? How does it personally affect others? Unless someone's clothing was putting them at risk (e.g. machine operator with long loose hair and clothing with frilly bits that could get caught), then it really doesn't matter.
Why do we need 'manly men'? What even is one? If it's a man that wants to have facial hair and wear trousers, fine
If it's a man that is aggressive/violent and dominating, then no, we don't need that kind of man.

I need to have it explained to me why a child is not allowed to wear wellies on "the hottest day of the year"....

(I did know that in wellies your feet are freezing on the coldest day of the year.)

Exactly. Said better than I could. Thank you.

But so are you, the parent who is using your child as an extended statement of your beliefs.

It has been pointed out time and again that we are discussing the idea of a boy who wants/asks to wear a dress.

Tableflowers- absolutely! I feel sorry for those kids because the irony is that quite often, the parents are up in arms about children being free to Express themselves etc. And yet it is the parents who have knowingly or unknowingly pushed their ideals onto their child.

What's actually wrong with letting boys be boys and girls be girls?

I have two girls. Both level headed and strong but also sensitive. Same for my boys! They have a lovely balance of qualities. The boys have not suffered for not being encouraged to wear dresses. But my boys are boys and my girls are girls and that really is OK!

ncbby- my son wanted to wear wellies on the hottest day of the year. I told him he couldn't and explained why 🙄.

Yes except that's a practical reason, not one we as a society have drawn up and socialised into each other. I got rugby tackled and harrassed and bullied when I was 11ish for being a "dyke" or a "tranny" (not words I would ever use out of that context but solely because I had short hair and presented masculinely). Would have made sense to have tried to convince me to grow my hair out and present femininely, but I wasn't going to give into peer pressure and bullying by anyone.

Teach your kids coping strategies, how to respond to bullying and who to go to if things get bad but there's no practical reason why they shouldn't wear a dress (at least not any one that people don't over look when it comes to girls in dresses).

Its never come up with my boys

I don’t think id have an issue with it depending on the age of the child

Young doesnt matter, old enough to understand potential issues doesnt matter but there is (in my mind) a few years were other people would comment and my child would potentially not understand why people were being ‘mean’ or children were bullying them

Actually adults bully as well...I remember being a pescatarian at 10 and the childminders husband going on and on and on at me

Ive always let my children wear what they wanted but this issue hasn’t come up

As an aside i was at a year 6 party, so whats that 10/11? And the children were VERY conscious of who was wearing what to the extent that a child wearing a football kit was ‘picked on’

ncbby- my son wanted to wear wellies on the hottest day of the year. I told him he couldn't and explained why 🙄.

Just because your son asks to wear a dress, doesn't mean you need to say yes.

We are their parents and it's our responsibility to guide and protect them. Not let them do whatever they want at all costs. Especially if it would make them a target of bullying.

I wouldn't have a problem if my (non-existent) son wore a dress, but it would make me wonder if he would turn out to be gay, as I know these things are biological and acting gender atypical at such a young age is an indicator of sexual orientation. I would still love an encourage him to be himself regardless of what he wore though

Absolute load of bollox.
Gender is a social construct, and all things aimed at a particular gender are made by man, not nature. Biology has fuck all to do with a boy playing with a truck or a girl a doll.
Did you know that until fairly recently it was normal to have male toddlers in dresses with longer hair? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breeching_(boys) considered completely normal and yet would be odd if it happened today.
Did you also know that it's also a fairly modern concept to have girls = pink and boys = blue, and that it used to be the other way around?

I'm really surprised by the responses here, I would be fine with my sons wearing skirts. It was the norm when my dad was a child for boys to wear dresses - easier nappy changes for a start but I guess this was for young children rather than men.
My 3 year old ds (youngest) wears leggings as his preference, if he asks for a skirt then that's fine.
Eldest ds (18) doesn't own a dress but I can't see myself or dh caring one jot if he did.

But why actively put your child in a position where he will targeted by bullies?

Actively putting your child in that position would be saying "Here's your dress, you must wear it". Not saying "Yes since you've asked to wear a dress we can pick out a nice and age appropriate one to wear and talk about important things like self defense". Don't change your own kid's behaviour for other kids potential shitty behaviour, you just need to teach them how to cope and make these assessments themselves.

I mean firstly it's teaching kids that being different means they deserve bullying- and therefore that it's ok to bully others who look different. You are raising (or at the very least raising kids that will enable) bullies by teaching them this is a "social norm" that absolutely cannot be transgressed

Parents can’t stop other children bullying their child, so the only control they have is try to eliminate possible scenarios that they may get bullied.

I would go mad if I going out my DC was bullying another child, irrespective of the reason, but not all parents would reprimanded their DC if they were bullying other kids. They simply wouldn’t care.

Because I can’t be sure these parents would teach their DC to be non judgemental across the board, my choice would be to not use my own DC as a guinea pig to see whether they would get bullied or not.

Kids can be cruel so why throw them in to the lions den?! Because it’s fashionable eh?....hmm might be fine in the local village where 10 kids are in the same year group, all the parents are friends and all is well wealthy middle class England suburbia - all insulated and protected, but try sending a boy in a dress to a school with over 1000 pupils and smack bang in the middle of a big city, where there’s no protection. I bet it wouldn’t be quite the pleasant experience.

I agree with the poster up thread, who says it’s like a trend, parents jumping on the bandwagon to be different, and ‘cool’. A bit like becoming a vegan. You hear them shout loudly in the restaurant ‘Do you have a vegan menu?’ I cringe!

You do what suits you, stop judging others for the choices they make!!!

Medusa- no one is saying that children deserves to be bullied! But why actively put your child in a position where he will targeted by bullies? Yes the bullies are in the wrong, massively so. But so are you, the parent who is using your child as an extended statement of your beliefs.

When kids are old enough and resilient enough then they can make their choice and be able to handle any negative criticism much more effectively.

As a parent it really is ok to say no to your child sometimes!

Isn't wearing skirts/dresses more comfortable (and hygienic?) especially in hot conditions?

Why exactly is it embarrassing for a boy to wear a skirt? Could it be because a skirt is associated with being a woman and obviously having any feminine traits whatsoever is absolutely terrible in a man

Also maybe we should ask ourselves why skirts are historically more associated with women. I don't know the answer to this but am interested to know.

Cats, I'm baffled, It's all over the place.

And while some may say that in order to change people's negative views we must stand for what's right- don't use your child who is not emotionally intelligent enough or experienced and resilient enough as your prop in order to do so!

Yes this.
It reminds me of political activists who parade their banner carrying children at marches or religious cults who knock on doors with them spreading the word

It isn't fair to push your own political or fringe cultural ideas into them or use them to prove a point. Children like to fit in, be like their school friends. They are conformist

Are the posters who are saying that they'd never let their lad wear a dress the ones who would believe that it's okay for that to happen if the child is a "trans" child?

That's a feeling I'm getting..

(I put that word in inverted commas because I myself wouldn't call any child that.)

This thread has attracted a lot of new people that I've never noticed on FWR before.

Welcome!