Would you ok your son wearing a dress?

When my dd was born, l always let her play with what she wanted and she loved cars and trains - as she got older, she turned much more feminine and thought wearing jeans, trousers or shorts was just the worst thing ever. She is naturally a very girly girl which l never was and actually l have decided to embrace that because as much as there is nothing wrong with letting boys wear dresses etc if they wish, there is also nothing wrong with letting girls be feminine or liking your man to be manly.

*ask to wear

I would disagree, however, that this is because they're desperate to be seen as a modern parent, any more than someone who puts their daughter in dresses, gives her Barbie to play with and refuses to buy her a toy truck because it's a "boy's toy" is desperate to be seen as a traditional parent. In both cases, they are simply people enacting the values they hold. There are exceptions, I'm sure, but I don't think it's true that people only allow or don't allow these things because of the type of parent they want to be seen as.

*Are mothers, and I think it's mainly mothers, steering their young sons into directions where they ask 'Can I wear a dress?
I have 4 brothers and parents who were considered fairly liberal back in the day and I can't recall a y of them ever asking if they could wear a dress. +

Did they ever dress as historical figures that need a tunic eg Roman centurion and if so did they always wear trousers or shorts underneath?

Nativity plays are the only place I really see young boys in "dresses"

There are people I'm sure who, if they met my girlfriend and I, would be very friendly to our faces but later go home to their partners and say "I know it's not PC to say it but it's Just. Not. Natural." I am aware of this.

Are mothers, and I think it's mainly mothers, steering their young sons into directions where they ask 'Can I wear a dress?
I have 4 brothers and parents who were considered fairly liberal back in the day and I can't recall a y of them ever asking if they could wear a dress.
My father wasn't a man's man, whatever that is.
They were never pressured into playing like boys.
Don't remember any friends saying their brothers wanted to wear dresses either.
It's another example of parents deciding something is in fashion and then steering their children in that direction.
A desperation to be seen as a modern parent. perhaps?

But I happen to agree with the 'norm' of boys not wearing dresses.

Why? it's not a particularly strongly held norm, it's just fashion. You might as well have a strong opinion on culottes or doublet and hose or kilts.

I wonder how many women on here would be comfortable coming home to their husbands wearing their clothes. I suspect itd make most deeply uncomfortable.

I wear my husband's clothes, but he wouldn't fit into my clothes.

However, that is beside the point. It would be creepy for a man to stop his daughter wearing trousers "because I don't fancy women in trousers" and the opposite is also true.

With not Ruth!

My point being that there's a difference between saying something SHOULD be accepted and the reality of whether it actually is

I know this distinction all too well, having grown up in a small town that had very tight social control. And the reality is: At the end of the day does not matter if something is accepted or not. Those people only hold as much power over you as you let them. And funny enough, five, ten or twenty years down the line, their attitudes may change, because they've seen more and more people transgress some ''sacred norm'', maybe even their kid or grandkid. I've seen it.

So how idiotic would one have to be to live one's life according to other people's nonsensical norms, norms that may be totally irrelevant even to them 5 years from now?

I wonder how many women on here would be comfortable coming home to their husbands wearing their clothes. I suspect itd make most deeply uncomfortable.

exactly deepwatersolo

I think there is a maybe 10 year period between the ages of 5 and 15 when other people care what your child wears and when you can control what your child wears. I am sure Harry Styles does not consult his mother on what he wears.

I'm sorry to be harsh and offensive but so you really think that's what those people are saying when they're sat at home at the dinner table?

Who cares what they say. If there is one thing I want to teach my kid it is that it shouldn't limit itself because of what other people might say. I learned that lesson early on and I've lived a better, fuller life for it.

This thread is like a portal to a different time.

It's as though punk and goth and nose rings never happened.

When my son was 2 1/2, he saw a girl in a light colourful dress with flowers (it was a hot summerday) and said: ''I could have something like that to wear!'' I told him that, yeah, I could buy one for him. Usually only girls wear that, but there is really no good reason why boys don't. He did not like going against the grain and decided against it.

I asked him, again, some time later, but he had made up his mind. I did have a bad conscience, somehow, as I think it is a silly stereotype and why not. But, I felt I had to tell him that this silly norm exists.

I bought him a light, colourful Hawaii shirt & trousers, then, which he liked, but not more than the other stuff.

Is a women less feminine if she wears trousers?

It's just fashion choice.

You lost me at your last point @Savourysenorita - it's easy to understand why you'd want to protect your son from potential bullying, unfortunately I can't understand why you'd want to protect your son from what people might say out of his earshot.

Perhaps if you can't ever imagine a scenario where your son would ask you to wear a dress then you're not best placed to comment on any of this in the first place? The original question needs a certain amount of imagination to think of where this might be hypothetical possibility.

Not everyone is as judgemental as you I suspect