Would you ok your son wearing a dress?

I would have no problem my ds wearing a dress/skirt etc. I would have a huge issue if my ds wanted me to pretend I believed he was a girl.

I am coming in at the end of a very long thread, but I don't see this as an issue. Men already wear dresses - they just don't call them dresses. They wear kilts, or kurta, or sarongs, or tunics, or thobes, or jehllubeeya. or sherwanis - and boy, a really good anarkali sherwani both has a much bigger skirt than I've ever worn in my life, and can look stonkingly fantastic on the right man.

And men very recently did wear western-style skirts and dresses and call them skirts and dresses. I'm in my fifties, and one of my mates when I was a teenager wore skirts, quite long, dull-coloured ones. He was a straight man, just a hippie. He didn't make a fuss about it or expect attention, he just found them more comfortable, just like millions of other men around the world do.

The current problems have arisen when a small group of men put on what is currently female-coded clothes as a sexual fetish, and ruin it for everyone. Without the sexual fetish, they are just clothes. Ordinary, boring clothes that anyone might wear.

Ds school posted a short with their Christmas class song - he was an angel and I was asked to provide white clothes, I sent leggings and T-shirt from his wardrobe and when I saw the video they had popped a white tutu on him as well, whether he had asked to wear it or whether they just put it on I don't know- judging from lots of posters here they would complain (I'm fine with it as I've said upthread)

On another note I hated having to wear a skirt to school in the winter but we were not allowed trousers, I had a long walk to school and tights often bring me out in a rash, that was only 20 years ago, the irony that dd is only allowed trousers (gender neutral uniform) isn't lost on me.

I dunno, I just think it's attention seeking tbh. I certainly think that all kids should be allowed to wear skirts or trousers at school whatever gender due to trans kids but the whole argument about it's cooler in summer - wear shorts, or skirts/dresses are not to show off a woman's body (and putting up a priests cassock) or people find them more comfortable - buy looser clothing, are all just random and bizarre reasons to me. To me it's a sexual thing, a gender thing or attention seeking.

Nailed it!

Exactly midge. I didn't bother telling DS about the implications when he was 4, because, you know, he was 4.

I am not sure if it's totally clear

To me There is a difference between encouraging a boy to go out in a dress , banning him from going out in a dress , and having a little talk about possible implications and then supporting him whatever he decides

I am firmly in the third camp. That isn't encouraging and manipulating and projecting.

😂

Apart from your mythical bullies, why is it wrong? Is it going to make his willy drop off? Is he going to freeze to death? Is everyone going to judge your parenting? Is he going to grow up to be a hooligan? I'm really rather unclear what you think is wrong with it.
To begin with, bullies are very far from 'mythical.' Read some of the bullying threads on here.
Then, is everyone going to judge your parenting?' Possibly not everyone, but a fair proportion will certainly be judging - in private, if not publicly.
Those two reasons in themselves would be enough to dissuade me from ever allowing a boy to wear a dress. As I said before, boys wearing dresses is quite simply not a social norm at present. I realise that there will be some people who would like it to be, but parents who are sending boys out in dresses (to be honest, though, I've never seen one, so I suspect that the whole question is somewhat hypothetical), are not doing their sons any favours and are merely making them look ridiculous for the sake of showing others how politically correct they can be.

My ds has been wearing dresses and lots more besides since he was around 4. We never encouraged or tried to stop him, it's just him and he has always been very happy, safe and supported within our family.
He is now a very confident much liked teen and still wears girls clothing around the house.
I know he would like to go out dressed as he wants but he realises the risks even though he would pass as a girl very easily.
So no absolutely no problem with him wearing a dress at all.

TableFlowerss Definitely, it helped me in a huge way. I think it had other knock on effects too, eg. Learning that you don't have to bow to peer pressure. My parents were never worried about me being pressured into dangerous situations, because they knew I was capable of not-conforming and saying no. Useful skills to have.

I'd quite like people to start designing dresses for men. I bet they'd have pockets.

I'm wearing trousers!! I'm a woman!! Shocker!!! (My kids accept my gender dysphoria, however). My eldest boy who is autistic had a period of wearing my dresses (I have trousers and dresses in my wardrobe) He also thought he might be gay. I found an LGBTQ youth club, and he had a long chat with a transvestite friend about safely cross dressing (not putting himself at risk in public, for example, people can be intolerant) Now, 3 years later he can't even remember he was ever into cross dressing.... For some people it's life long, for others its not, but as time goes on there is likely to be less and less comment on men wearing "women's" clothes, as there is no comment at all about women wearing trousers.

Kids have a hard enough time at school. Most kids will get teased for one thing or another, the majority of which the the patent can’t control such as hair colour, height, eight, size of teeth and the list goes on....

There’s certain things that are in the control of the parent. To allow them to wear something that isn’t standard to prove a point and jump on the bandwagon is just is pointless.

Actually this is interesting to me, I was bullied a lot for being short - something utterly out of my control. And I found it very hard to cope with.

At some point though I made a conscious decision to dress in an unconventional manner, figuring that if I was going to be picked on them it should at least be for something I had control over. Initial reactions were as expected, but interestingly the bullying then dropped off. I suspect because I'd chosen it I was less insecure about it and it made me less of a target, bullys thrive on insecurity.

So maybe allowing kids the freedom to choose what makes them stand out actually makes it less likely they'll be bullied?

And again i agree that some men do it out of choice...or so they say !

But on that note some very few women do actually bald and some get alopecia and its more likely that those women will try and replace the hair rather than be bald

So your point still stands obviously...it just occurred to me, and i need a delay function that stops me from typing everything that comes into my head

I was thinking of the ones that do it through choice because they suit it or like the look etc..

it’s like women shaving their heads. You rarely see it, yet every 5th man has a shaven head

Although I absolutely understand your point every man i know who shaves his head does it because he is balding...or bald

and no I wouldn’t discourage my DC from take subjects she’s good at. If she wanted to go in to a science/maths based subject, I’d be very proud and encourage it.

To add, it’s about a parents intention to protect their child and make their life as easy as possible. Nothing more nothing less. There’s no right or wrong answer.

Should it matter what type of cloth, whether it be cotton, nylon, Lycra... and how it’s shaped, ie trousers, skirts, bow ties, hats whatever.... anyone wears? No it shouldn’t.

At its basic level it’s to protect our modesty and prevent all and sundry seeing our Crown Jewels and the like.

Over time fashions change for both men and women. (Before I continue, I reiterate I absolutely understand the argument put forward saying why does it matter what fabric we chose to cover out bodies, eg skirt/trousers. The concept that it should define us is ridiculous, I agree, it shouldn’t matter really)

However, we live in a society where there are norms. It’s not debatable whether they exist or not- they absolutely categorically do. It’s a fact. Cultural norms, social norms inclusive. This is across the board, certainly not just here in Britain. There norms are world wide.

Whether you agree with it or not, at this present moment in time, it is not the norm for a boy to wear a dress outside. Once again, should it matter really the shape of fabric covering us? No - but it’s either the norm or it isn’t. I can say that it isn’t currently the norm for boys to wear dresses to school (not to say I agree that it should be like that)

It’s like women shaving their heads. You rarely see it, yet every 5th man has a shaven head. Why do more women chose to have longer hair? It’s the social norm here for women to not shave their heads.

I imagine some women would love to shave their heads (and I’m sure they’d look gorgeous if they did) but you rarely see it, because they know they’ll get stared at, as it’s very unusual. So it’s easier to just go along with it and carry on with the norms.

Again, should it be like that? Well no but it is
(Sadly really)

As parents we have two choices. Either try to get your child to conform to the general guidelines of what the current norm is or to chose to throw caution to the wind and say ‘fuck scat others think’.

That’s fine if it’s the adult dealing with the backlash and negative comments but many parents don’t want to put their children in a position they (the child) won’t anticipate could happen - getting the piss taken out of them.

It’s not a matter of right or wrong. I’d applaud anyone that had the guts (because I’d think it would take guts) to send their 8 year old boy to school in a dress. I wound sincerely hope that they had the best day and the next day some of the other boys also wore dresses. That would be great.

Sadly, I imagine that would be very much the exception. The boy would get picked on, laughed at and come home in tears. I know that I couldn’t put him through that.

It’s all very well saying ‘you need to instil to him about bullies and he shouldn’t need to change etc’, but wearing a dress doesn’t define a person. If he’s happy and he doesn’t care what other people say then great, but many kids want to fit in with their peers, it’s a normal part of growing up.

Clothing doesn’t define a person to the extent some people thing it does.

So you would not allow them to wear what they like out of fear ( supporting and therefore reinforces gender stereotypes which are harmful to boys and girls )

What about encouraging them when their interests are technical ( because despite what some people here want to believe, I did get bullied at school because I was good and loved maths and physics ) should my parents have steered me gently to other subjects just for my own safety ( I was good all rounder ) ?

Where would you draw that line ?

I don't think a cassock is really a dress. It's not made the same way.
What, you mean with fabric and thread?
Of course it's made the same way.
Lots of boys and men round here on their way to mosque on a Friday in dresses too. Or are those not really dresses either? I don't see them being bullied for it.

I’d let my son wear whatever he wanted within reason (no mismatched/dirty/creased clothes or inappropriate clothes, eg pyjamas) but I would probably try to gently discourage any outfit that would invite ridicule if only to protect him.

At his current age (2) he has lots of pink stuff and wants a Little Mermaid doll for Christmas.