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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Australian GC Feminists silenced on everybump (formerly essential baby.

208 replies

kagado · 11/12/2020 11:37

First time poster, long time lurker. Thanks to mumsnet along with some awesome Australian posters over on the Essential Baby forums in Australia who first spoke up about this and pointed me in the mumsnet direction.

I’m hoping to post this story here that has played out over the last week - we have been silenced within our online community and would like to be able to direct some of our cohort here to be able to read what has happened and continue with the conversation we have been having - I hope this is ok.

The Essential Baby forums were owned by a large media company and in early November an announcement that after 20 years of active discussion on all sorts of topics the forums were being closed. There was much sadness, a flurry of activity to open up a new forum led to everybump. An amazing effort and a real show of solidarity from the community.

In recent times there were quite a few respectful, fiery, and informative threads about trans issues, and the intersection with women’s issues on the old Essential Baby Forums. Once we moved over to the new forum we continued the discussions.

Sadly, the threads were allowed to go on for a certain period of time, then unceremoniously, some of the key posters were barred from posting (you can guess one was me).

Reason for the ban:

“Hello

Please be advised that you have been placed on 24hr PA. This is due to inflammatory posting and/ or challenging Mod decisions on the boards whilst threads are being reviewed.

The Thread in Feminism is so hurtful to so many of our members so we need to ensure its not going to continue to be that way.

We have removed them for review and are taking time to do this now.”

We were sent this pm on the lifting of our ban (note, there was no inflammatory posting, we are pretty careful in our tone and wording as most gc feminists here would be used to doing also there were definitely no abusive messages sent as has been implied)

‘ Dear All

This PM is a first and final warning before banning. A forum announcement has also been made and is copied at the end of this message.

We do not have the resources nor patience to ensure the safety of other members from the discriminatory posts made in the now deleted gender critical feminism threads. Even though that means shutting down ‘feminist’ discussion. Hiding discrimination under the guise of a feminist issue does not make discrimination legitimate, any more than ‘debates about racial issues’ in the 1950’s made racial discrimination legitimate.

Post approval is now removed from your account. There will not be a further ‘post approval’ step or any warning before banning if you make similar discriminatory posts in the future. Or personal attacks against Mods or Admins.

The false allegations posted about the content of PMs on 9EB mean that we are also pre-emptively informing you we won’t hesitate to publish our PMs, and your responses (if any), alongside any relevant posts that may misrepresent the content of this message. On this issue, do not have any expectation of privacy in PM communications.

A forum announcement has been made. As stated, this is not a unilateral response but a joint one from the entire EB volunteer team.”

Then an announcement was posted to all the forum members:

“A message to all of our members.

Some of you will not like it. Some of you will think it is over the top, because you have only seen parts of the issues. Actually, it is more like a forceful lecture than a message. It’s not a rant because I mean every word.

Sorry about that if you had nothing to do with it.

The next abusive message sent by someone careless enough to use their own IP address will find that address permanently blocked from the Every Bump forum. From both posting AND reading - i.e. worse than banned.

This is not a unilateral response. The entire team has spent more time than we want to think about consulting to provide a joint response.

Firstly, and very obviously, this forum is NOT Essential Baby. It is not run by a corporation or commercial concern. Every Bump is staffed entirely by volunteers. Who have lives just as busy as yours.

We don’t have the time or resources to drop everything to give an instant co-ordinated response. It would be nice if we could provide constant updates to all members on what is happening - but we can't co-ordinate that at the same time as discussing the primary issue due to resources.

It would be great if the rules had already been finalised and posted - but dealing with these issues only delays that process. In the meanwhile, the old EB Rules stand.

This forum is run by a group of people who have given up their time and money to make this space welcoming. Whilst we want member feedback and suggestions, we expect them to be polite and respectful. Almost all of our members have no difficulty with this.

Abuse of our volunteers is not going to be tolerated no matter how righteous you think your cause is. If you think that is a dictatorship, feel free to go start your own community that welcomes abusive messages.

For members not involved but concerned we are unreasonable or need thicker skins, here are two (of many) actual examples within the last 48 hours of what is ok and what is not ok:

  • “Why am I on post approval and I want it take off by tonight please?” - ok.
  • “The Admins are Cnts and the mods are (#%)” - will not ever be tolerated.

The Admins and Mods have committed to making EveryBump a welcoming, safe and supportive space for all our members. As volunteers, we are not paid enough to tolerate abuse. We won’t.

We believe that all voices should be heard, and that all members should be treated with respect in the posts of other members. We will not sacrifice these principles for advertising revenue, (or even to retain or attract new members), despite accusations.

All voices being heard does NOT mean people have ‘freedom of speech’ or ‘the right’ to post anything they want.

Outright blatant attacks on another member will not be tolerated. Even if that member is a Mod or an Admin, or the attack is in a message sent to a Mod or an Admin. Even if sent via PM or email.

Indirect attack or discrimination against members or groups also will not be tolerated. Even if it is claimed to be part of a feminist discussion. Even if it is posted in a ‘clinical’ fashion - this does not prevent posts from being insensitive, hurtful, denigrating or devaluing others. Even being a vulnerable person yourself does not give you that ‘right’.

Because none of this somehow ‘prevents’ posts from being discriminatory. (Or prevents them from being hate speech - if it is clear posts or a collection of posts are discriminatory, we do not need to decide if they amount to hate speech). We simply will not tolerate posts that are discriminatory, whether sexist, racist, ableist, homophobic, misogynistic, misandrist, etc. Even if that means shutting down a ‘feminist’ discussion.

Members of our community are hurt by such posts, for themselves or for their loved ones. ‘All voices being heard’ means vulnerable sections of the community should feel safe to read and post.

If you want to have that discussion, find another place to have it. Or, work out how to discuss the topic without making discriminatory (sexist, racist, ableist, homophobic, misogynistic, misandrist etc.) posts. If you cannot, the reason is probably that either the foundations of your topic, or your reasons for discussing it, boil down to your belief in your right to exclude or discriminate against ‘others’ no matter how harmful the effect on them.

If you cannot work out if your posts are discriminatory, swap words out with 1950's USA racial issues. It will leap off the screen at you.

Now to be really specific and clear:

Repeated insensitive remarks (or attacks) regarding trans people will not be tolerated. Nor purposeful trolling or inflammatory posting.

Moving the Gender Critical Feminism threads off active topics was not an attempt to silence, but an attempt to give a volunteer admin/mod team time to respond after less forceful feedback was ignored. In hindsight, we should have locked the threads immediately pending review and put posters on post approval than merely removing the triggering threads from the active topics list.

Now these threads have been reviewed. The entire Admin / Mod team considers the posts, taken collectively, to be discriminatory, insensitive, hurtful, denigrating and devaluing others

The appallingly abusive and obscene anoymous emails sent to the Admins after threads were removed from active topics (but still accessible via the forums) reinforce my view that any 'theoretical' or clinical discussion was never more than window dressing

Warning has now been given. It is a first and final warning. There will not be another one for those who received it via PM.

We wanted to tell EB discussing Gender Critical Feminism is OK if it can be done without negatively referencing trans people. But, we don’t have the resources required to actively moderate such threads at the level shown to be needed. That approach was attempted before the threads were moved off active topics.

GFC is officially the first topic off limits on this forum, ahead of even current court cases.

There are multiple levels of censorship in almost every publication. I'm also not going to put up with rants about censorship breaching your rights to freedom of speech. It doesn't, you can say anything you like on your street corner, or build your own site, and anyway Australian law doesn’t actually provide you with such rights.

Australian law does say you can’t be discriminatory in contexts such as employment, and that hate speech is not allowed. We won’t allow discriminatory posts here either.

If your desire is ‘uncensored’ ‘rights’ to post anything you want on someone else’s site, reddit or 4chan / 8chan is a better option for you.;

* Post edited by MNHQ *

OP posts:
PotholeParadies · 13/12/2020 00:09

One of the best tricks that has ever been pulled has been the conflation of gender-criticalness with being middle-class and white.

The most cynical person I ever spoke to about transwomen in RL was an old school friend (from our absolute dump of a school where most didn't leave with 5 GCSEs) who did NOT believe her 45 years + relative was suddenly a woman because he'd put a wig on. This was about 16 years ago.

I (with my middle-class aspirations) thought she was terribly unkind. In retrospect, she was right and I was wrong.

Flickflak · 13/12/2020 00:00

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

GlorianaCervixia · 12/12/2020 23:49

That's a powerful article. It's shameful, really, that women in countries as wealthy as Australia pretend that sex-based oppression is such a blight on so many women's lives and they can't opt out of it.

AnnHibbons · 12/12/2020 23:28

great article ^ thanks - i have added it to my favourites.

PotholeParadies · 12/12/2020 23:23

Any time someone says gender critical feminism is middle-class white feminism, direct them to this

dgrnewsservice.org/civilization/patriarchy/gender/white-feminism-thing-gender-identity-ideology-epitomizes/

SunsetBeetch · 12/12/2020 22:57

@Maudythebudgie

Hi *@GCFeministNC* that was me with the nuance comment. I was having a discussion on the old eb with someone who was a trans ally and kind of exploring the edges of our thoughts and what's was ok and what was not. There seems to be lots of people who are quite decided on their opinions here so there's not that kind of discussion here that I've seen (haven't been here that long). I'll be honest... I'm still thinking about the edges of my thoughts in this area. And I swear I'm not a liberal feminist!!
Ah see, we're a lot further down that road than you. We've all been there though!
DontpoketheTERFmum · 12/12/2020 22:02

I love lipstick alley! They always have me in stitches. I love how unapologetic they are.

Maudythebudgie · 12/12/2020 21:42

Hi @GCFeministNC that was me with the nuance comment. I was having a discussion on the old eb with someone who was a trans ally and kind of exploring the edges of our thoughts and what's was ok and what was not. There seems to be lots of people who are quite decided on their opinions here so there's not that kind of discussion here that I've seen (haven't been here that long). I'll be honest... I'm still thinking about the edges of my thoughts in this area. And I swear I'm not a liberal feminist!!

PlantMam · 12/12/2020 21:25

@AnnHibbons

yes apparently the feminists on mumsnet “lack nuance” and the other one directed my way is that gender critical feminism is “white, middle class feminism” - this was from a white, middle class woman, so...
Anyone who says that is just ignoring non-white women’s voices.

Tell them to go read the feminist/womanist board on Lipstick Alley. It’s a hell of a lot less ‘nuanced’ than Mumsnet (and I mean that in a good way!)

Winesalot · 12/12/2020 21:14

@BlackWaveComing

It's no worse than others (have lived abroad). That doesn't make it good. Misogyny, though, is global.
I tend to agree. I keep hearing this said, but I cannot see it is worse than the UK. In fact, it was here in the UK that experienced bullying in the workplace for the first time and being sacked while pregnant.

I don’t consider that Australia is worse than here in the UK.

AnnHibbons · 12/12/2020 21:13

yes apparently the feminists on mumsnet “lack nuance” and the other one directed my way is that gender critical feminism is “white, middle class feminism” - this was from a white, middle class woman, so...

BlackWaveComing · 12/12/2020 21:04

It's no worse than others (have lived abroad). That doesn't make it good. Misogyny, though, is global.

Alethiometrical · 12/12/2020 21:02

We've read about Australia's increasingly misogynist censorship.

Australia's always been a deeply misogynist culture. I survived 35 years of it ...

BlackWaveComing · 12/12/2020 20:51

In the SMH this morning.
Parent speaks out - anonymously.

www.smh.com.au/national/my-child-is-transitioning-gender-but-i-feel-the-system-makes-it-too-easy-20201211-p56mqe.html

PlantMam · 12/12/2020 20:43

@GCFeministNC

"She is still very welcome to come add her options here though - they might well be challenged but you don’t have to argue a point any longer than you wish too - abandoning thread is always an option."

My comment came across as snide and unwelcome. (Shit day coughing whilst waiting for a Covid test result if that absolves me of rudeness). Sorry all

No it didn’t! Your comment was fine. Women aren’t obliged to be anyway, not in my world!

I just don’t want any woman to get stuck in a place where she can’t ask for ‘breastfeeding’ support without someone telling her she should be calling it ‘chestfeeding’ rather than actually helping. So even if this particular person is a bit ‘fun feminist’ by FWR standards, she is still v welcome to come over (to the ‘Radicalisation Portal’ Grin)

We have Gin

kagado · 12/12/2020 20:23

Haha you have no idea (or you probably do) how frustrating it was trying to post in that kittens thread without being deleted. Ask me how I know. And there were much more interesting threads when we were still allowed to post.

OP posts:
GCFeministNC · 12/12/2020 19:34

"She is still very welcome to come add her options here though - they might well be challenged but you don’t have to argue a point any longer than you wish too - abandoning thread is always an option."

My comment came across as snide and unwelcome. (Shit day coughing whilst waiting for a Covid test result if that absolves me of rudeness). Sorry all

PlantMam · 12/12/2020 18:53

@GCFeministNC

Wow. I just went over to the every bump site and... very limited activity on the feminist board. And the interesting thread 'kittens' was locked. One poster there though did say they'd move to MumsNet but found it TOO pro-gcf and that we over here lack nuance. Taken aback by that - but I guess that's liberal feminism.
She is still very welcome to come add her options here though - they might well be challenged but you don’t have to argue a point any longer than you wish too - abandoning thread is always an option.

Mumsnet as a whole has members from right across the political spectrum, including many completely apolitical people. No one is going to force a Germaine Greer quote into the baby names section, for example.

The really fantastic thing about the parenting and relationship sections of this site is that no one is going to force you to use gender neutral words when you want to talk about a female experience. That’s pretty powerful, and might look pretty radfem from the outside, but it’s only what was completely normal until what feels like five minutes ago.

GCFeministNC · 12/12/2020 18:47

Wow. I just went over to the every bump site and... very limited activity on the feminist board. And the interesting thread 'kittens' was locked.
One poster there though did say they'd move to MumsNet but found it TOO pro-gcf and that we over here lack nuance. Taken aback by that - but I guess that's liberal feminism.

Wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 12/12/2020 15:39

Welcome fellow feminists and misandrists 😁

PotholeParadies · 12/12/2020 15:19

These days, WHTM lurks and mocks the women posting on ovarit for their "transphobia" as well as the men on AVFM and reddit for their misogyny, and insists over and over again that GC feminists are MRAs.

No mention of the glorification of violence against JKR that I've seen though. But I don't hang out there very much any more so maybe I missed it.

SunsetBeetch · 12/12/2020 10:26

@Hmmmph

I think for me as a general lefty, I wasn't paying close attention, I like to be inclusive! until the sport stuff started which could impact my family and then the jk rowling stuff and that's when I started reading and thinking...
Oh I hear you! For me it was Rose McGowan being shouted at by a TRA during her book launch where she was talking about her own abuse. And all the lefties I'd been following on twitter thought Rose was in the wrong! Even after it was revealed that Andi Dier was an abuser and harrasser themselves.
LittleCabbage · 12/12/2020 07:44

Hey Aussie feminists - welcome! It's great to have you here BrewCakeXmas Smile

Winesalot · 12/12/2020 07:34

Fellow Aussie but now living here in UK. Before we moved 5 years ago, this was not even on my radar. Was it being discussed on ESsential Baby then?

Mind you, I only cottoned on about it late last year anyway, most of my friends are still completely unaware here or back in Australia unless they have directly effected in any way. I am sorry to hear that this new forum has taken this tone. I find it hard to understand how they think no part of feminism is left uneffected by the redefinition of woman and our rights and need for protection. Ahh well. Such is the form of feminism that puts all women as carers for everyone, ay.

Agrona · 12/12/2020 05:29

@SunsetBeetch

From Australia and arrived here a few years ago due to following some wise women who were forced off a supposedly ‘tracking misogyny’ site. I don’t post often because the women who contribute to this site amaze me with their patience, intelligence and wit.

WHTM, by any chance? I was on there a few years ago. I didn't even know what "terfs" were when they first started going on about them! Then I "educated myself" and fucked off. Some strong cognitive dissonance going on with people like that, surely. I can't get my head around it.

Yes it was that site and as Pothole states it is an echo chamber. When certain posters arrive here and vehemently aver that MN is an echo chamber (and toxic etc.) I feel like pointing them to WHTM and other sites like Return of Kings or AVFM where no dissent is permitted. This is not a recommendation to visit those sites.