Title and name when married

83 replies

Nicknamegoeshere · 04/12/2020 23:51

So when I marry OH I am remaining Miss Family Name. I'm 40 and divorced, this will be my second marriage.

My mum is shocked at this and says I will be Mrs Husband's Surname. She thinks anything else is "disrespectful".

My in-laws are less judgemental but also just assumed I'd become Mrs Husband's Surname.

The idea gives me the rage!

I know we're going to get cards to Mr and Mrs... eurgh!!!

OP posts:

BibbityBobbityBellend · 05/12/2020 00:46

They probably just assumed because it's the most common outcome and they don't think much about it.

But yes. Your point is a good one. Why would you need to be anything else!

Saisong · 05/12/2020 00:32

I also married in my 40s and by that point couldn't contemplate being anything else.

People do still default to Mr & Mrs though, which I can forgive in the older generation, but it infuriates me when my good friends do so. However i ignore it - there are worse things!

Possums4evr · 05/12/2020 00:26

I think being miss is a little odd when you're married, I've been a ms since I was old enough to use a title. Keeping your name - well you'd like to think no one bats an eye at that any more but they obviously do. Ignore them.

PinGwyn · 05/12/2020 00:24

EyesOpening that's what I said - if you're getting married for the sake of a name change there are cheaper ways to go about it!

EyesOpening · 05/12/2020 00:21

“I did get a few odd comments "what's the point in getting married?" “
I hadn’t realised the whole point of getting married was to change your name. What’s the point for men (who don’t change theirs) then?

ContessaDiPulpo · 05/12/2020 00:12

Sounds fine to me! Do what you're comfortable with and, to a lesser extent, what your STBDH is comfortable with. My DH didn't really mind what name I went by, which is good as I kept my own

PinGwyn · 05/12/2020 00:08

I didn't change my name and genuinely don't care what title they use so I just say whatever I feel like when asked, although I do usually default to Mrs.

Everyone was a bit puzzled at first and i did get a few odd comments "what's the point in getting married?" and people justifying why they changed their name "I liked the idea of a family name" or "I needed to have the same name as the kids" and my personal favourite "i wanted us to share a connection"... That's fine, I chose differently no need to justify it to me!

If your hair with it then it really doesn't matter :)

OneEpisode · 04/12/2020 23:54

Cards are fine. Perhaps in 2020 no cheques made out to Mr & Mrs his name.

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