Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

DD (13) has been shown Trans 101 video at school. Please help me draft a response.

61 replies

veryconcernedparent · 03/12/2020 11:55

NC for this.
I've been lurking on the Feminism board for the last few months and have really had my eyes opened.
I have just discovered that DD, who is in year 9, has been shown the following video in form time:

www.trans101.org.au/video1.html

I'm horrified and really feel I should get in touch with the school but I am not as well informed as many posters here and I don't know where to start. What issues do I raise and how?

There was apparently no discussion in class after the video, although there was plenty among the children afterwards. I have discussed the issues with DD in the past and thought she understood but the discussion we've had since she saw the video shows that she is now very confused.

Many thanks in advance.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
StillWeRise · 17/03/2021 18:51

great result OP and hopefully encouraging to others who might be hesitating in a similar position

StellaAndCrow · 17/03/2021 18:35

Oh that's a great result veryconcerned - you did a great thing in following that up.

StellaAndCrow · 17/03/2021 18:33

From the video and booklet
"Physical transitioning usually involves a person altering their appearance to what feels right for them, like clothes, makeup and hair, or seeking medical treatment like hormones or surgery."

Two of those things are not like the others. I think it's very dodgy to put serious life altering medical treatments in the same field as changing your clothes or make up.

And if it is all about appearance, then why not just say so. Does it mean any more than any other type of cosmetic surgery or cosmetic treatment?

OneEpisode · 17/03/2021 17:40

Again it isn’t the depiction of trans people that’s the problem. It’s the depiction of everyone else.
From the first minute:
“We are expected to act a certain way based on what’s between our legs. But that actually isn’t true for everyone”
That implies that it’s ok for anyone to have broad expectations imposed on them just based on their sex. It’s not ok.

Helmetbymidnight · 17/03/2021 16:46

That is a fantastic result - v well done for being persistent.

persistentwoman · 17/03/2021 16:14

Excellent news OP. When adults with pastoral responsibility for children actually look at so much of this stuff they see how inappropriate it is. The trouble is it's been presented to them with a layer of "if you disagree with this, you're an old fashioned bigot" so challenging it needs courage.
Parents are so important!

malloo · 17/03/2021 15:58

Well done, that's a good outcome.

Wearywithteens · 17/03/2021 14:21

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 17/03/2021 14:21

That's excellent OP, well done!

Wearywithteens · 17/03/2021 14:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Original poster
veryconcernedparent · 17/03/2021 14:16

An update:

I emailed the head a couple of days after my original post setting out my concerns in some detail (I included many of the suggestions on this thread) but didn't hear back from him. I decided to take it up with the school again after they opened up again to all pupils earlier this month, and last week I emailed the person in charge of sex and health education at the school.

I spoke with her on the phone yesterday and it was all very positive. She hadn't actually realised that the video had been shown as she has been off sick for the last few months. She was fairly horrified herself and very apologetic. She said it should never have been shown and that it was a clear breach of DfE guidelines. She was very keen to hear my concerns about it and completely agreed with the points I made.

The upshot is that she wants all teaching on this topic to be absolutely transparent and is arranging a parents' forum to discuss the issues. She said that she would welcome my input and I was also able to direct her to Transgender Trend and Safe Schools Alliance. I suggested as well that she might want to arrange a session for pupils in which the opposite 'point of view' is discussed and she seemed keen on that.

So thank you again to all those who posted here with positive suggestions. It gave me the courage to respond, as well as enabling me to put together a coherent argument that was backed up with facts and sources.

I'm so pleased with this outcome.

OP posts:
NancyDrawed · 04/12/2020 09:12

I think the 'use bodily functions so as not to exclude NB and transmen' is a bit of a red herring.

It was pointed out on another thread that bodily functions / specifically female body parts must be referred to as such because the transwomen can't identify their way into that group. But situations that TW can identify into - sports, changing rooms, prisons etc - are fine to be called women's.

If women's sports became 'uterus havers sports' that would exclude the RMs and LHs and HMs and that would never do.

Original poster
veryconcernedparent · 03/12/2020 23:06

Thank you for the explanation, especially Mumofgirlswholiketoplaywithmud.

Makes perfect sense - no idea why I found it so confusing. Hmm

I'm getting a headache with this. Think I'll leave it for today and aim to send it on Monday.

Thanks again everyone.

OP posts:
Alethiometrical · 03/12/2020 21:58

The video is soooooo wrong in so many ways, and I only could bear to watch the first 5 minutes.

They completely mix up, and then misunderstand totally, sex & gender. Gender is not an "internal feeling" nor is it what we're "assigned" at birth. It is an historically & culturally specific set of power relations, which maintain the oppressive hierarchy of patriarchy.

Te young women in that video should be ashamed of their disregard of the battles fought by generations of women. It is within living memory that they would have no right to equal pay, for example.

If I were you OP I would be steamingly angry at that rubbish being shown.

Accept difference, YES! but tell young girls that "gender" is something they should internalise is pure misogyny.

Winesalot · 03/12/2020 21:57

veryconcernedparent

You heard right. Mumsofgirls explains what I think they mean.

And this ambiguity And potential for confusion is why it is not suitable as an educational tool.

Mumofgirlswholiketoplaywithmud · 03/12/2020 21:48

Oh and then if you are talking about the group of women eg. For a women's political representative - by the new definition of "women"- you can't define it by anatomy as the term now includes people who were not natal females.

I can't imagine why children would find this confusing Hmm

ChonkyLamp · 03/12/2020 21:46

Placemarking

Mumofgirlswholiketoplaywithmud · 03/12/2020 21:45

The argument is that non-binary people and transmen can also have eg. endometriosis, and so be using the word "women", they are excluded.

Mumofgirlswholiketoplaywithmud · 03/12/2020 21:42

@veryconcernedparent

I need help working out what they're even talking about on the video!

So at 6:34, they say this:
"[Say] 'people who have uteruses' instead of 'women' when talking about bodies because some trans guys and non-binary people have those too.
Or, if you're talking about being a woman, avoid things like 'people with vaginas' and just say 'women' because not all women have those."

Is it me? I just can't work that out. Have I misheard? Am I being stupid?

It means when talking about bodily functions you describe "the people formally known as women" as their anatomy eg. For women's health issues: "people with uteruses can experience pain from endometriosis" not "women can experience pain from endometriosis"
Original poster
veryconcernedparent · 03/12/2020 21:28

I need help working out what they're even talking about on the video!

So at 6:34, they say this:
"[Say] 'people who have uteruses' instead of 'women' when talking about bodies because some trans guys and non-binary people have those too.
Or, if you're talking about being a woman, avoid things like 'people with vaginas' and just say 'women' because not all women have those."

Is it me? I just can't work that out. Have I misheard? Am I being stupid?

OP posts:
HipTightOnions · 03/12/2020 18:05

Have just watched the first minute or two of the video. What a crock of shit.

It’s extremely easy to demonstrate that it’s exactly what schools must not be teaching.

RaymondSpectacles · 03/12/2020 18:04

Please email the head with your concerns, and links to Transgender Trend etc. Also the latest DFES advice.

The Y9s at the school I teach at were shown something on LGBT+ issues this week and the teachers I spoke to were worried about it, which is unusual as they are very 'woke'!

HipTightOnions · 03/12/2020 18:00

Sadly, it’s been my experience that you can make the most reasonable case and it can be easily dismissed as just one person’s opinion.

However I strongly agree that what can make a school sit up and take notice is pointing out that they are going against DfE guidance.

Transgender Trend have some excellent examples that you could use as a model.

www.transgendertrend.com/product/inclusive-relationships-and-sex-education-in-schools-rse/

RubyQ2010 · 03/12/2020 17:44

@vermeil - thank you for your feedback. Upon reflection, perhaps I should have kept it simple and stopped at the first paragraph.
I’m curious to know what scare quotes are and what you think the trick is that I missed?

MichelleofzeResistance · 03/12/2020 16:42

And then say "No." And "Don't be silly." and "Do you remember the bit where you said people shouldn't be reduced to body parts?"