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Original poster

Looking forward - supporting girls with becoming young women

61 replies

xxyzz · 01/12/2020 12:55

Two great pieces of news today: Keira's victory in court, and Joanna Cherry's (and allies) victory in Scotland.

Great to hear that the grown-ups are back in the building. But thinking about Keira's case, and about the future for women more generally, while today's judgement should notably call a halt to children (largely girls) undergoing unnecessary surgery and taking dangerous untested drugs in the UK, it won't on its own stop those same girls transitioning once they're a bit older. It's awful that we live in a society that is so misogynistic that young girls feel the only way they can achieve happiness is by opting out of being women altogether (via drastic surgery and dangerous, untested drugs).

As well as cutting off the supply of these drugs, we need to think about cutting off the demand, i.e. think about what is causing these young girls to hate their own, healthy, female bodies to such a degree.

All of us who are adult women know that female puberty is a difficult time, and many of us experienced misogyny and hence dysphoria too at that age. Is there more we can do to provide support, a welcome for young girls to the sisterhood? Very moved by Raquel Rosario Sanchez's tweet on this, addressed to Keira.

How can we help these girls to love who they are, the bodies they're in, to feel supported, and realise that despite the misogyny that they will undoubtedly encounter, being women is great, something to be welcomed, not feared?

Any thoughts welcome.

OP posts:
Original poster
xxyzz · 01/12/2020 14:11

Great idea, FeedTheSparrows. Yes, I definitely hated my female body too as a young teen. This is so common, it's almost unusual not to experience it, I think.

But not a teeny tiny bit of me would wish now to have been encouraged to act on those dysphoric feelings. Shock

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PopperUppleton · 01/12/2020 14:10

We need to start calling out the men and boys every single time. Yes, yes, we've been doing it for years (all my life!) but perhaps more coordinated campaigns to highlight the issue of misogyny and male violence against women and girls, making more and more noise. I know it has been and is being done, but keep shouting. I know I do.

FeedTheSparrows · 01/12/2020 14:07

Keira's win is such good news and a victory for common sense!

One way of supporting girls with becoming women might be telling our own stories of puberty and teenage years and sharing any feelings we had of wishing we weren't female - because of all the sexism and ogling of females.

Getting those stories out there will be the harder part I imagine, given the publications that would have once carried such things have been captured. Then again there are 'blogs', self-build websites and FB groups now...

I certainly recall feeling pretty depressed when I started my periods (aged about 12), hated my breasts and wearing bras (up until my mid 20s) and around age 18 (and until my mid 20s) just did NOT want to look in any way feminine. I wanted to be tough and masculine so that no one (meaning men) would mess with me (meaning try to abuse or harass me) - and I did my best to be seen as 'a bloke' and 'one of the lads'.

Now I am a grown up (well, sort of) in my 40s I can look back on the younger me and see what was going on. I am so glad not to be a teenager/in my 20s now!

Surely loads of us have similar stories to recount?

Original poster
xxyzz · 01/12/2020 14:06

Youth wings of GC feminist orgs? Festival of women?

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Original poster
xxyzz · 01/12/2020 14:04

Or Minimumsnet Grin

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Original poster
xxyzz · 01/12/2020 14:03

Websites/forums aimed specifically at teenage girls? Kind of like the antidote to Teen Vogue et al?

I think back to the 90s and while the Spice Girls were not unproblematic role models, nevertheless, the idea of Girl Power was a positive.

I'm thinking something that firmly teaches girls that they are allowed to have boundaries, that violent porn and sex aren't required or 'normal', that they don't need a man to feel complete, that women come, as ArabellaScott says, in all colours, sizes, creeds, lesbians/straight/bi, GNC etc.

Aah, I have the name: Teennet, or TN for short.

I'll get my coat... Grin

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midgebabe · 01/12/2020 13:18

Happy to support however I can

But short on ideas through . I sort of feel that the commercial world likes stereotypes and that there is more pressure than ever for children to conform

Need to get stories out, real life stories, fictional stories , that cover

ArabellaScott · 01/12/2020 13:06

Er, sorry, not Keira! Name is on the brain today! Smile

OP.

ArabellaScott · 01/12/2020 13:05

Great idea, Keira.

I think highlighting strong role models, non-conforming women, lesbians, women of all creeds, sizes, colours, seems a good way to help.

I suppose amplifying these women who are already out there doing their thing.

I do think that moves to question sexism and stereotypes need to be gently but repeatedly made.

Supportive spaces for girls and young women online - websites, sources of good information, evidence based information, perhaps?

FizzyDizzy121 · 01/12/2020 13:02

This is exactly what we need for both sexes. Thank you for the idea OP

persistentwoman · 01/12/2020 13:01

Lovely post OP.
I don't have the answer. But I do hope that as the excessive gaslighting of children by organisations, the BBC, charities and self interest lobby groups reduces (and today's judgement will help a little) girls will be allowed to talk, think, explore and grow in a safe environment - rather than be caught up in a toxic ideology that labels any thoughts or actions not in line with Stasi central as 'bigotry'. It must be terrifying for girls trying to navigate all this.

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