Hermes Delivery Driver Sexual Harassment

thisisnotdelivery drivers are now sometimes taking pictures as a way of proving that a parcel has been delivered, it's a safety measure to avoid signatures (and the handling of devices that entails). But I'm surprised there haven't been challenges about photos of people (rather than just parcels)they should surely just be taking a photo of the parcel. I would raise it with Amazon to follow up with the driver.

The comment was totally inappropriate and not excusable, but your daughter's reaction still seems quite extreme unless she has particular reasons for being especially upset by it. If a delivery driver said that to me I'd just think he was a twat. I'd probably give him a bit of a hard stare.

I was harrassed at my local Sainsbury's. One particular young man works on the Self Service tills. He'd loom over me (I'm short, he's tall) and ask me questions about myself. He wanted to give me his number so I could arrange coffee with him. When I told him I had a boyfriend he still wouldn't drop it.

I changed the way I shop so I'd avoid him, or I'd make sure that he wasn't working in that section. The embarrassing thing is I'm an opinionated woman in my late 40's and felt I couldn't tell him to get to fuck.

I hadn't seen him around for a month or so and used the self service tills recently. He was there, but stood back respectfully and was politely formal. It was such a relief. I wonder if he'd been told. I'd mentioned to a friend this had happened, and she guessed who he was immediately, so perhaps I'm not the only woman he's creeped on.

I have heard people say that girls of fourteen or less ought to have been flattered when a man working on a building site made loud comments to his mates about what he'd like to do with her -- after all if he didn't comment she'd know she wasn't attractive.

I'm struggling to see a difference in kind.

BeepBoopBop , there is a difference between someone well known to you saying something intended to raise a smile, and total stranger saying something of a sexual nature to you. One is affectionate; the other is predatory.

"Great slippers!" would be light-hearted, smile-inducing. "Sexy slippers" is neither.

I mentioned smiling in my post -not to say she should smile at him, but in the context of two human beings smiling in greeting each other ??

If my partner does something to 'make me smile', 'make me laugh' etc. The 'make' is not translated as 'force', merely to provoke/encourage/share a feeling of happiness/mirth/lightness.

Clearly this bastard completely got his comment on the slippers wrong. He is an utter, sexist fucker and he should have kept his perverted, misogynist thoughts to himself.

Actually another poster has explained that the driver was likely expecting her to smile having had no contact throughout the day, whilst poster also makes reference to saying something in return if she must, she does this whilst minimising the negative experience of the woman throughout and blames her for being over sensitive and that Hermes would roll their eyes if they heard about it. The post legitimises the drivers actions and suggests he was only trying to make her smile, why should he be able to make someone uncomfortable to try to get a smile?

Nobody on here has said that the response to the driver should have been a smile.

The driver's remark is indefensible, so I'd say the apologists can be ignored.

I hate that people are defending the driver, why is it appropriate to comment, why on earth as a woman should she have been expected to respond with a smile because he hasnt had much conversation during the day so he has somehow become entitled to female attention, I work at home all day alone I dont sexually harrass our postman when he is trying to post the letters.

I just had an Amazon delivery driver pretend (I hope) to take a photo of me and then called me sweetheart. And it made me feel so uncomfortable!

I can't imagine a female delivery driver doing or saying this to me - or my husband.

When are they going to learn that it is not okay to make people feel like this?

I haven't read the whole thread but I did see OP's post and I am sad to read that your daughter was spoken to like this. Feels unreal that it's 2020!

Take a new pair of windscreen wiper blades to the counter in a hardware shop only to be told that you can't buy those now because the man who fits them is on his lunch break and won't be back until after two (and your own lunch break ends at two) -- is that sexist, stupid, or just an indication that the shop doesn't really want to serve customers?

That wasn't harassment, but it for sure was casual sexism.

And of course men have no idea that this sort of thing is standard; it doesn't happen to them. I would hazard a guess that there is not a man in the entire country who has had it suggested to him by a shop assistant that he can't change the wiper blades on his car.

I hear you, OP, and that's why I think free speech is important. If we only tell the stories we know will receive 100% agreement, we'll have fewer stories to tell.

As for educating men not to harass, at a more basic level, I think we have to educate men to see women as full human beings, and ends in themselves. We've come a long way since only a couple of generations ago but have far to go yet.

I've got a story about unwanted attention too: had to have my car fixed once and when I picked it up, the ashtray (which had been disgusting before, I was a heavy smoker) was spotless, and there was a note with a number and name on it, too. Was that kind of sweet or kind of creepy? I still don't know.

They honestly think have carte blanch to say or do pretty much anything to us, irrespective of the circumstances of our interaction with them.

I once got invited in for an account review (aka trying to persuade me to get a loan or overdraft) at my bank. The next day I had a call on my mobile for the bloke that did it, saying he thought I was hot and would I like to go in a date - I asked where he got my number from and he readily admitted he took it from my account. I mean - what the fuck?! Told him to leave me alone in no uncertain terms but in hindsight should have reported him to the bank.

There's a brilliantly scripted moment in Brooklyn 99 where Jake and Amy are discussing the everyday sexism that she experiences. He has been oblivious to all this, and comments on how sad it is, to which she shrugs and says, "Oh, it's OK - I'm used to it." "That's even sadder!" he exclaims.

It just sums up how quite a lot of "good guys" - the ones who aren't creeps, etc, themselves - still have no idea what the day to day experience of being a woman is actually like.

I don't disagree. There's that nice expression 'having a word with' - confronting an individual about something they've done wrong with the intent of giving that person the space to reflect on their behaviour and do better next time. Sometimes 'having a word' works (obviously NOT a substitute for punishment in case of criminal behaviour) and, as a society, we've become too timid when it comes to openly confronting people about crappy behaviour (provided it's safe, of course).

But humans are sometimes woefully inadequate at understanding how they come across.

Even if this is the case, reporting him will ensure he receives training to stop him from being 'woefully' inept at conducting himself in a normal, professional manner; which will benefit him in terms of job retention. It isn't the case, though.

"gaslighting", "morons" - well thank you!

I've just become a bit careful when it comes to calling for punishment, sackings, excommunication etc. for things that seem pretty shitty but not crimes. It could be you next time.

If someone gives you the creeps, absolutely, listen to your inner voice and take appropriate measures. Nobody would deny that we live in a sexist society drenched in male sexual entitlement. But humans are sometimes woefully inadequate at understanding how they come across.

Bluntness, now i was being sarcastic regarding the pps reply to me xd

Also, please let us know the results of the complaint. Hearing about fellow women standing up against everyday sexism gives the rest of us energy to continue doing the same.

I'm glad you're not listening to any of these morons trying to gaslight you and your daughter into blaming your daughter for overreacting, OP. As usual a lot of male-apologists here are trying to pretend that social context does not exist.

Whilst it was an unneccessary comment, feeling violated is excessive.
Other pp saying find some resilience are
not wrong, life will be exhausting if you choose to be offended by every little comment.