Gay men's magazine bullied into grovelling

Nobody is shaming anyone for their sexual preferences. Most posters here believe that the schools job is to teach about consent and safety. In the context of this, anal sex is more risky than vaginal sex.

It has been suggested that to teach this could put women off having anal sex (as the absence of a prostrate makes it less pleasurable and they also have the alternative of vaginal sex). I don’t think that an accurate description of risk - reward is a bad thing. I am shocked that this even is an argument.

Quaagers

The poster just minimised the harms to females, Their solution was ‘lots of lube and go slow’... but the first sentence was

‘Those things are exceedingly rare and all human sexual activity carries a degree of risk of both injury and disease’.

Then there was

If the message given out to young people is that anal sex is highly dangerous, no woman would ever want to do it and its likely to cause all manner of injuries, but it's okay for the gays then that is likely to make young gay men feel stigmatised and also its just not true.

The decision to have anal sex should come with full disclosure for females and males. It is NOT appropriate to not tell females about the risks and why males with prostates enjoy it and why there is a likelihood that they won’t.

It is in no way appropriate to tell females they are responsible for destigmatising anal sex!

If the message given out to young people is that anal sex is highly dangerous, no woman would ever want to do it.

Also noting the sleight of hand here.

The message is going to young people, but it's a woman who makes the decision? No it isn't, it's the young person.

So what if no woman ever wants to do anal sex? What's so bad about that?

Choice?

Dont be silly Quaagers, come on

Just to clarify by some I meant women, not young people before my words get twisted

If the message given out to young people is that anal sex is highly dangerous, no woman would ever want to do it.

So?

Pretty good result I should think

So, some do want to, so surely learning about safety and that it's actually a "thing" is important?
Or is anyone who doesn't conform to the pre approved what heterosexual sex has to be all to be shamed now?

So what if no woman ever wants to do anal sex? What's so bad about that?

Good grief - I've seen some arrogant gaslighting in my time but lecturing women in order to silence us from talking about the dangers that anal sex causes to women - especially young women - because some men don't want this discussed takes silencing to a whole new level. Utterly grim.

And I got deletions for responding to posters above my post and someone thought I was being a homophobic

So pissed about that

So fucking pissed on that. On a fast moving thread. Ffs

And how about the fact that many many females don’t derive pleasure from the act jj? Or are you ridiculously proposing that females are expected to go along with it so that gay males don’t feel stigmatized.

Where do you get from what was posted though that women are expected to go along with it if it's mentioned/spoken about in an educational setting in high school (which is where usually learn about sex)
Surely it's better to know about it than not, and not from a playground from peers, I think that's all that's been said?
Of course many females don't derive pleasure from it.
Don't think anyone has said otherwise
Just surely there needs to be a talk about consent and not being coerced into anything you don't want to do is really important and linked too

Me too winesalot.

Completely ignored

This reminds me of the time I was chastised on Twitter for being repulsed at the idea of a trans widow being coerced into pegging her husband while he wore negligee, because apparently that meant I was stigmatising anal sex and therefore I was responsible for gay men being killed in Russia.

If the message given out to young people is that anal sex is highly dangerous, no woman would ever want to do it.

So?

I am constantly amazed how often the needs of children and women are ignored here by some posters.

If the message given out to young people is that anal sex is highly dangerous, no woman would ever want to do it and its likely to cause all manner of injuries, but it's okay for the gays then that is likely to make young gay men feel stigmatised and also its just not true.

And how about the fact that many many females don’t derive pleasure from the act jj? Or are you ridiculously proposing that females are expected to go along with it so that gay males don’t feel stigmatized.

Just what are you saying? Not to tell females their bodies are smaller than the average males. Not to tell females that gay man derive pleasure from the act due to having a prostate. Not to tell young females that the act they are being convinced to try a) is probably not going to give them pleasure and b) may actually harm them and due to being uncomfortable and finding it not pleasurable is more likely to cause them harm, to reduce the stigma for gay males.

Tell us how you propose to explain the realistic female injuries jj.

(I don’t know about you, but when something is being shoved up one of my orifices that is NOT a pleasure, there is a lot of involuntary clenching involved And that really does not bode well for an orifice made for excretion ...)

Winesalot

I'm pretty sure it wasn't you!

Wouldn't it be easier to resist being pressured into unwanted anal sex if all pupils had been given a thorough education in what actually happens when someone suffers an anal prolapse, or how hard it is to participate fully in a normal, active, happy life when your anal sphincter leaks and can no longer be trusted? (Because that shit is the opposite of sexy).

Those things are exceedingly rare and all human sexual activity carries a degree of risk of both injury and disease, I'm not sure whipping up homophobic scare stories about the terrible dangers of anal sex is very helpful. And even if that was the approach then surely harm reduction measures are the most appropriate way to address any risks, use lots of lube, go slowly etc.

If the message given out to young people is that anal sex is highly dangerous, no woman would ever want to do it and its likely to cause all manner of injuries, but it's okay for the gays then that is likely to make young gay men feel stigmatised and also its just not true. Surely far better to focus on coercion, porn promoting unrealistic sexual practices (which in some cases can be very dangerous), enthusiastic consent and safety for all forms of sex. Because as wrong as it is a for a man to coerce or force a woman into anal sex, its equally wrong for anyone to coerce or force anyone into any kind of sex. I don't have a problem with discussions about the typical gendered nature of sexual violence, but the over-arching message should be coercion is wrong, whoever is doing it and whatever the activity.

[quote MadBadDaddy]@dyslek
I think you must be looking at a different thread. I am not interested in discussing anything like that, and haven't, to the best of my knowledge.

I made a long list of what homophobic and transphobic things the LGBA have been accused of, and LGBT education was in that list.

And in response to several posters' insistent and direct questioning, i stated that genital preferences were not transphobic.

I hope that clears things up.[/quote]
Calling sexual orientation 'genital preference' is homophobic. Don't do it.

@Stealhsquirrelnutkin that’s interesting information and I doubt it’s delivered like that when it’s taught. I don’t think dental dams are normalised.

I think it needs to be taught frankly and honestly. Yes, heterosexual couples have anal sex but 15-20 years ago, teens were NOT having anal sex as a general rule. They’d wait until they were older. Something has obviously changed (porn).

If the reality of anal is made clear then maybe a lot of the girls who agree to it now wouldn’t. There’s a substantially increased risk of fecal incontinence from having anal sex. If you’re a gay man, you might decide to take that risk, and if you have a partner you might take turns receiving, so there is a risk to both of you. If you’re a straight woman though, you might take the view that it’s a one sided risk (ie no risk to the man) and also one sided pleasure (ie man gets much more out of it than woman, with some exceptions). So if I was a girl who heard that anal sex would increase my risk of leakage from the bum and my boyfriend wanted to try anal because he’d watched porn I’d say no because it’s hardly like he’s being deprived if he has vaginal sex.

Also while condoms are taught about, sooo many men don’t want to wear them or remove them.

They may also want to tell the students that many gay men take drugs (poppers) before sex to relax the anal muscles precisely because it’s painful otherwise. Having anal with an inexperienced man who is likely to thrust too hard and whose knowledge comes from watching porn is a recipe for disaster.

Oh, this was in 2016.