Gay men's magazine bullied into grovelling

The pornsick generation has just got old enough to be in positions of trust and responsibility. That's very dangerous for girls and young women in particular.

The 'lots of lube and go slow' advice is not going to avoid nasty injuries when an inexperienced, selfish or frankly misogynistic male is acting out porn fantasies.

It's consent and respect in healthy relationships we need to be teaching children, not 57 varieties derived from hardcore porn.

I don't think it should be promoted or stigmatised as abnormal.

If the recent stats stating how many young women have been forced or even just coerced into anal sex are to be believed jj, you completely are missing the female experience again. Why should something that is only pleasurable to some women (and I keep saying this, it is UNLIKELY to be teenagers with inexperienced partners) be normalized for heterosexuals?

Why shouldn’t these young females be told what to expect by way of risk/enjoyment and to be told that many many many women say NO!

The odd thing is I normally spend a minimal amount of my time concerning myself with other people's sex lives. If asked before today, I would have said that I assumed in a world of 7 billion people, some women enjoyed anal sex and that was up to them.

However, this thread and the focus on how much girls need to told about anal sex is creepy.

I've just had a look at that Teen Vogue article that doesn't show the clitoris. It's even creepier. So there's yada yada yada about how to have it, what it might feel like and so on.

Then this. The writer specifically admits she's saved the cons of anal sex until last because she didn't want to put readers off. So she's not neutral at all. She's personally invested in persuading young people to try it. Why?

I quote:

Forgive me for waiting until the very end of this piece to get to this burning question, but I wanted you to know the benefits and positives when it comes to anal. Because there are many!

Yes, you will come in contact with some fecal matter.

I want to personally assure you that that you will not poop on anyone during anal sex. Sure, there are horror stories, but aren’t there always?

Among my female friends in the late 90s/early noughties it was like 'Ew anal, no way, lol' A few of my mates then did go on to have experiences with anal sex, but it was still very much like sort of drunken conversations about how it's not something you should do if you aren't comfortable with it and it kind of remained an 'ew' subject. Is there anything wrong with that really, among women?

I'm an old saggy tittied married hag now, whose husband has always known anal was off the agenda so its moot these days!

with harm reduction information given, with an explanation it may cause pain and discomfort, and even that it may be more enjoyable for men due to prostate stimulation.

‘Even more enjoyable for men’

How about ‘it may not be pleasurable AT ALL for many females’. No stigma, just the truth.

oh grow up @Datun

I'm not the slightest bit interested in having penetrative sex with anyone so I've no idea what you think my agenda is supposed to be.

If the message given out to young people is that anal sex is highly dangerous, no woman would ever want to do it

Yes, but a woman who does is exercising choice too.

Isn’t this a discussion about teenaged girls? And sex education given in school?

Shouldn’t teenaged females be given all the risks, including being told they are NOT prudes for saying no to something they don’t want or feel coerced into.

A fully informed women making the informed choice with an experienced partner seems quite different to teenaged girls being told any harm is rare and all sex has risk when describing anal sex.

What is your view on how anal sex should be covered in sex education? All the risks? Or minimize the risks, ignore the fact that it is not pleasurable to many females.

And have you seen how anal sex has been written about in publications aimed at teenage girls? Actually read the information? Does it give teenagers the information they need to make an informed choice from those publications. One didn’t even get the female sex organs correct on the diagrams.

Your reaction was to think that if a woman decided that she didn't want to as a result, that her choice had been taken away?

Your post implies that giving people information makes their choices... less informed? I assume I've misunderstood.

We are talking teens here, not women.

Any female who is allowed to develop and follow her own desires organically will instinctively centre her erogenous zones. The inner anus is not one.

Different for men, who have a prostrate. Different for adult women who have had plenty of experience and has reasons of her own to do whatever she wants.
. Really and truly, theres no need for adults to patiently explain all the different and exciting ways one body part can penetrate another, or all the wonderful items you can buy with your pocket money. Desire is enough to guide the average human. Teens need to know about safety and that it is supposed to make you happy. Not uncomfortable, or rushed, or used for someone else's agenda.

Those things are exceedingly rare and all human sexual activity carries a degree of risk of both injury and disease, I'm not sure whipping up homophobic scare stories about the terrible dangers of anal sex is very helpful.

It is common enough that there are surgeons that specialise in repair of serious injuries - sometimes life changing, and they have concerns that they are seeing more cases. Damage in this area can lead to lifelong faecal incontinence - do you think it wise to warn girls of the risks? The women that I know who have tried anal sex (because they were being young and adventurous and their partners were super keen) found that once was enough.

I think the majority of women DO NOT enjoy it - there is bugger all in it for them.

As someone on here said, they 'learned about lesbians from a dodgy video being passed around' ... well, unless it was purely lesbians doing the passing around none of them needed to watch this video to learn, there was nothing there they actually needed to know or that would enlighten them about their own sex lives, they chose to watch it because it was porn made for the male gaze

Yikes, good spot.

Who needs to watch a porn video to find out about the existence of lesbians, especially today? If you can comprehend the existence of homosexual men without watching gay porn videos (and I find women can), then homosexual women shouldn't be beyond a man's credulity

jj1968

What I'm reading into your posts is that anal sex should be promoted as normal to girls in order than gay men shouldn't feel 'stigmatised'?

A woman not wanting to have anal sex is exercising choice...

Yes, but a woman who does is exercising choice too.
They do exist, and doesn't mean they only come across that conclusion as they've watched porn or whatever and think they don't know any better.

Who on earth is saying that? you are.

The argument seems to be that heterosexual anal sex should be stigmatised. No. but the male agenda that seems to be published regarding anal sex should be significantly reviewed and reality presented.

I repeat ... have you actually read and reviewed the tools and resources you and MBD were so keen to portray LGB Alliance as hateful for objecting to ???

It really seems from your posts that you have not.

Spending one's whole Saturday advocating for more anal sex teaching in schools is an odd way to spend your weekend.

It is in no way appropriate to tell females they are responsible for destigmatising anal sex!

Who on earth is saying that? The argument seems to be that heterosexual anal sex should be stigmatised. I don't see how that helps anyone. The potential risks of all sexual activity should be pointed out but scare stories about prolapses or claims no woman would ever enjoy it are both dishonest and dangerous. We used to teach young people that just one toke on a joint could cause reefer madness. It wasn't very successful at stopping kids taking drugs. Sex education should be factual, and focussed on consent and safety, because if young people suspect they are being misled just for a second they will ignore the lot of it.

Ffs. The lack of care for females has just ramped up so many notches. It cannot be lack of self awareness. It seems so blatant.

We still seem to be strangely focused on penetration in this thread and the only person conflating heterosexuality and penis-in-vagina intercourse is you, Quaagars.

Any thoughts about how women might really enjoy other activities more commonly classifiedas outercourse and the importance of including them in RSE? Or is it just the anal sex that is really, really, really important to be positive about in school, instead of merely factual?

I think by the thread and the comments given about what lesbians do is their own business (still gone unanswered as to why, does that mean shou;dn't be spoken about/taught?)

Sorry for having a life and not hanging off your every post - I see you've been bewailing the fact that I haven't replied to you and are still pretending not to understand something that is really easy to understand.

What everybody does in the bedroom is their own business and not something that needs to be taught in depth at school, not just with lesbians. Any in depth discussion of sexual acts in lessons is inappropriate and anyone pushing for it is dangerous.

When it comes to lesbians there is the risk that people advocating that schools should teach how lesbians have sex are doing so from a porn soaked and fetishist reason for doing it. Not the lesbians - you understand, they are the not the ones pushing this. You are.
Lesbian sex has always been distorted and fetishised for the male gaze and this needs to be taken into account and safe guarded against, because this is not going to help young girls questioning their sexuality.

As someone on here said, they 'learned about lesbians from a dodgy video being passed around' ... well, unless it was purely lesbians doing the passing around none of them needed to watch this video to learn, there was nothing there they actually needed to know or that would enlighten them about their own sex lives, they chose to watch it because it was porn made for the male gaze.

Bringing that into the classroom and claiming this is progressive is not progressive - it's abusive.

As I have repeatedly stated, there is no need to spend time in lessons specifically differentiating which sexualities engage in which sexual behaviours. Not least because there is no hard and fast rule on that. You seem to keep missing the part where I keep saying this. It's not that lesbian sex can't be discussed - it's that certain sexual acts do not need to be flagged specifically as lesbian acts. They're just sexual acts.

RSE is not there to teach children how to have sex, it is there to teach them how to have sex safely. That is all children of all sexualities.

To try and pretend that this is somehow suggesting lesbianism shouldn't be spoken about is deliberately missing the point in order to push a pornified version of RSE on children whilst claiming to be the progressive one. Well, I see you and so does everyone else on the thread.