Joe Wicks and his breastfeeding journey

LOL @OverTheRubicon - I can't imagine any young men reading this.

There was a poster on here a couple of weeks ago, really worried because her baby wasn't eating what fucking Joe Wicks said he should be.

I mean Joe Wicks has as many qualifications for writing parenting books as I do ie zero. Actually I have more, because my children are older.

Men writing books about raising babies when 90% of the hard work is done by women is a bloody joke.

Put him in the bin.

Just when you think you can't dislike somebody more.

I think it’s very cringe

Hipster twat.

Sooooooo..... Joe Wicks makes everything about him? I'm shocked, shocked I tell you. Nothing about his conduct to date remotely indicated that

Don't get me started on how he is apparently the 'nation's PE teacher' when he was briefly a TA before becoming a PT. When I see what my colleagues in PE departments do that label really annoys me.

@IHaveAGreyLamp I've only read your OP and replies on this but I just wanted to say I think you're spot on!👌

I really would like to know what is required of men. I remember how little they used to do, bugger all. Now they still do bugger all but a bit less of it. There does seem to be more engagement and the language they use 'their journey' is probably what some women want to hear.

I find this throws light on the subject but it sure does throw up a strange clash

Do you think he didn't discuss the chapter with his partner? I know Joe Wicks get a lot of hate on here - for having the temerity to run online exercise classes during lockdown and raising lots of money for the NHS - but it feels a little odd to slate him for writing a chapter about his family's experience of breastfeeding unless his partner is decrying it - is she?
My DH was hardly dad of the year, but he was still involved in feeding our DCs. Whether it was getting me drinks or pillows, or trying to get them to take breastmilk from a bottle, and then discussions about weaning, etc.
Stylistically, if he'd written 'Rosie did this; she did that; Rosie felt this' - readers would ask why Rosie hadn't written it herself. If he'd written 'I did this' then readers would say 'no, you didn't because you're a man'. I'm guessing they opted for 'we' because Rosie was involved in the writing but didn't want her name on it.

Sooooooo..... Joe Wicks makes everything about him? I'm shocked, shocked I tell you. Nothing about his conduct to date remotely indicated that.

Next you'll be telling me he's a bit thick.

I haven’t read the book but maybe it’s more about the weaning bit?
I quite like the idea that the woman should not be solely responsible for weaning. I think that men get so used to only the Mum being able to breastfeed that they continue to expect her to deal with all feeding as the baby gets older.

As soon as other sources of nutrition are introduced why not have the man be equally involved? Good for him for promoting this.

OverTheRubicon - I think it's powerful to have a popular and aspirational figure for lots of young men talking openly about and supporting breastfeeding. Maybe let's focus on that.

That's a really interesting point!

My only problem with that would be that i doubt Joe Wicks looms large in the minds of many young men, and the existence of his book even less so (i only know about him because i have a 6 year old and his book 'cos of this thread).

However - if he did influence others for the better then yes, that would be great :)

I get the cringing but honestly choosing to breastfeed was a decision that had a huge impact on our lives and sleep. I made the decision on my own (no way my DH would ask me to if I didn’t want to), but he did wake up several times each night to pass the baby to me, and settle her back to sleep after.. years of broken sleep, raging hormones, and doing so much other stuff to make up for my feeding her constantly. So it has had an impact on him. And physically I didn’t have pain unlike some others, just the exhaustion of always producing her food and never being able to take a break (wouldn’t take a bottle). So if my DH talked about bf I wouldn’t call him a twat - he was involved in almost all of it.

I think it's powerful to have a popular and aspirational figure for lots of young men talking openly about and supporting breastfeeding. Maybe let's focus on that.

I read the 'my journey' thing more as a disclaimer for the inevitable backlash of people who would be equally happy to jump in to say that any support he gives to breastfeeding minimises their pain as not being able to, that 'fed is best' etc (all true but not the focus here - and it's good to hear of more dads getting involved feeding new babies full stop). He could have said 'our journey' but then it's not his wife's book and for all we know, she doesn't want to be a part of it.

Sure it's cringey but no-one needs to read it, and in the country with one of the lowest bfing rates in the world, perhaps it can help some women who would like to breastfeed but struggle due to unsupportive or clueless partners.

I get that it's a bit cringe, I find any discussion of "my journey" a bit cringe. But is he talking just about bf or feeding/weaning more generally?

My LO has been combi fed and had formula at the start whilst establishing bf. She lost weight, concerns re jaundice, not enough dirty nappies, saw feeding specialists, hired pumps, lots of sterilising, setting alarms to give bottles, debating how much formula to top up etc, lots of long sleepleaa nights. My DH was 50/50 in all that and a my biggest cheerleader with bf. I'd cringe if he talked about "his journey" but I have to accept he has his own experiences of how we fed her in the first few weeks and wasn't just a bystander.

DH actions on becoming a father for the first time (it wasn't my first time) was something which bonded us together even more strongly.

He was attentive and supportive and tried to be pro active and use his initiative but just asked me what i wanted/needed if he wasn't sure at the time. I mean it's what decent normal humans do for each other isn't it?

If your partner is bleeding and knackered and sore and stuck in a chair feeding a tiny baby then you simply do .... all the things that need doing. Make sure they're fed and watered and then get on with what ever passes for normal service in your house. Do the washing, do the hoovering, get the shopping in, keep the kitchen clean, keep the loo clean and look after any older kids. Do the nappies, do a bit of burping. Creep about when the baby is asleep. Is this really rocket science? Do the courtesy of looking as if you are trying to be awake at some point during the night feed to offer a cupper, and a few words of moral support. Get up and get said cupper without complaining if it's accepted. Get up and help clean up the projectile vomit.

DH is NO domestic goddess but knows what clean house looks like and he was fab because he wanted me to not stress. His mother was gob smacked by the way. I like the woman but i've never understood how/why that was. Did she think he was some neanderthal? That's a whole 'nother thread i guess.

It smacks of me. me. me doesn't it? I'm the first parent in the world, etc, etc.

I think it's ok to talk about his breastfeeding journey as a man, i.e. focusing on how he supported his wife, what worked, what didn't work, his expectations for how he would support her and how he dealt with the reality of it.

However I'd be ragey if he was directly talking about what SHE did and talked about it like it was his journey.

until we stop treating fathers as if they were rather dim Labradors we need to train up to be slightly more than useless, we're never going to get equality

I well remember DD's father trying to play the dim Labrador. Full on puppy eyes and everything. He got short shrift, and pulled his finger out when it was pointed out that we were both in exactly the same place on both the 'not having a clue' scale and the 'access to parenting education' scale.

Why they think we're born with the holy grail of childrearing manuals pre-installed in our brains is beyond me.

Joe Wicks can have a breastfeeding journey if he likes, but it's a secondary one, not a primary one (unless he's actually lactating).

And I still haven't forgiven him for the squats.

My husband has had a wonderful breastfeeding journey...

Sleeping through the night.
Watching whatever boring programme he wants on tv while I do every bedtime.

See, I'm such a cynic. I just think we've had decades of men being 'hands on dad' in visible roles (and getting masses of kudos for it). And it doesn't seem to have changed very much at all.

SarahAndQuack
I see what you mean. Yes, the isn't daddy good language is nauseating.

Unfortunately I suspect that to normalise hands on fatherhood, we might have to endure a bit of that. If seeing someone like Joe Wicks gets more dads being more proactive then it's a step in the right direction IMO.

My husband told my obstetrician about "our breastfeeding journey" to which she corrected him very quickly and frankly "I think you mean kidscreatemess's journey"

That was him told and I've never let him forget it either.

# A slim and beautiful woman, clad in long pristine white nightie, seated in a chair by an open window. The white net curtain is billowing gently inwards and we can see a garden. The sun streams through the curtain and the light bounces off her beautiful clean hair while she smiles serenely down at a baby peacefully breast feeding (also wearing perfect white of course).

The reality? Well - you can have fun changing the details yourself

They never do the breastfeeding a toddler photo in that style do they. In fact I dont think any guide shows a serene mum lovingly nursing a calm toder without a hint of acrobatics or nipple twiddling

I can’t say how much I dislike this sort of post from you OP. All I know is that when I tried endlessly to breastfeed and it hurt so much but I refused to give up but also refused to bottle feed, that it was every bit as much of a “journey” for my son’s OTHER parent as it was for me. He was beside himself with love for the baby and desperate to get it right but had the added nightmare of watching me disintegrate too. Why does it have to be a competition about who it’s hardest for? It’s comments and judgments like many on here that make many committed loving fathers feel like whatever they do they can’t get it right. Rant over (and I do know that lots and lots of women go through all of this stuff without a loving and committed other parent).