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Original poster

Breastfeeding support group wants to allow males

306 replies

user643899 · 22/11/2020 20:03

I am in a Facebook group for breastfeeding support.

There's a new comment from admin asking if we'd be comfortable with males joining the group, then a subsequent poll.

I commented on said poll, "I am a feminist. Call me a terf. Biologically you are male or female. Feel free to identify as what you wish but you cannot change your sex. This group is for breastfeeding. Only females can breastfeed."

I was called a bigot. One comment read, "you aren't a feminist. Feminists want equality for all genders." I responded,"Equality for both sexes, yes. Female is a sex. Feminism derives from the word, female."

Now my original comment has been deleted. I daren't comment again through fear of removal.

I'm upset. This is the group I used when I had thrush. I posted pictures of the thrush on my boob. I can't be comfortable in a group made for my sex.

OP posts:
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Original poster
user643899 · 22/11/2020 23:47

So you’re being picky about the word someone uses to describe the act. Sorry but that’s ridiculous. The group is to support people who are undertaking that act, not to police what word they personally choose to describe it. It’s about supporting parents in feeding their babies human milk, it’s a really hard thing to do and I wouldn’t exclude someone from accessing support just because they use a different word to describe it than I do. I would however exclude people who don’t need to be there because they aren’t undertaking that act.

Nope, I'm not being picky. It's a breastfeeding support group for people who breastfeed.
I'm not describing it. I'm using the name of the act. Breastfeeding.

I wouldn't exclude them for that either. I would exclude anyone who isn't breastfeeding or planning to, that includes men.

OP posts:
PucePanther · 22/11/2020 23:44

It's not a nipple-feeding support group
So you’re being picky about the word someone uses to describe the act. Sorry but that’s ridiculous. The group is to support people who are undertaking that act, not to police what word they personally choose to describe it. It’s about supporting parents in feeding their babies human milk, it’s a really hard thing to do and I wouldn’t exclude someone from accessing support just because they use a different word to describe it than I do. I would however exclude people who don’t need to be there because they aren’t undertaking that act.

Original poster
user643899 · 22/11/2020 23:43

Let me rephrase.
Can males breastfeed?

OP posts:
Original poster
user643899 · 22/11/2020 23:43

@Quaagars

Can men breastfeed?

Trans men can

Can men breastfeed?
OP posts:
Original poster
user643899 · 22/11/2020 23:42

@Quaagars

Because women share intimate photos and stories.

Photos?! Stories yes, I get, have shared stories in the past but didn't know people took intimate pics of themselves to show others?!
Or maybe that's just me, never heard of that being a thing

I shared photos when I was in pain. They were able to tell me it was thrush. People share pictures of their latch, tandem feeding and others.
OP posts:
Quaagars · 22/11/2020 23:42

Can men breastfeed?

Trans men can

Original poster
user643899 · 22/11/2020 23:41

@MoonJelly

Given that men can feed babies and can get breast cancer, I'm not sure why you're being so precious about the term 'breastfeeding' in relation to men.
Can men breastfeed?
OP posts:
Original poster
user643899 · 22/11/2020 23:40

@june2007

Men need to be informed, men support. I have been a association of breast feeding mothers mother suppiorter and a Le lkeche league trained peer supporter. And we supported the whole family including men. If we want to "normalies2 bf we need to include men.
And the only way for men to learn about breastfeeding is by joining a group for women? Right...
OP posts:
Quaagars · 22/11/2020 23:40

Because women share intimate photos and stories.

Photos?! Stories yes, I get, have shared stories in the past but didn't know people took intimate pics of themselves to show others?!
Or maybe that's just me, never heard of that being a thing

Original poster
user643899 · 22/11/2020 23:40

@PucePanther

Ffs stop being facetious. Only allow members who are currently feeding a baby milk from their nipples. Regardless of what they call that process or what they identify as, because both are irrelevant.
It's not a nipple-feeding support group.
OP posts:
MoonJelly · 22/11/2020 23:38

Given that men can feed babies and can get breast cancer, I'm not sure why you're being so precious about the term 'breastfeeding' in relation to men.

ClaireP20 · 22/11/2020 23:38

@june2007

It,s an online group why not allow men/? Dr Neuman is a man Arub Gupta is aman both big BF advacates.
Because women's spaces should be protected. Because women share intimate photos and stories. I cannot believe this needs explaining.
june2007 · 22/11/2020 23:36

Men need to be informed, men support. I have been a association of breast feeding mothers mother suppiorter and a Le lkeche league trained peer supporter. And we supported the whole family including men. If we want to "normalies2 bf we need to include men.

PucePanther · 22/11/2020 23:36

Ffs stop being facetious. Only allow members who are currently feeding a baby milk from their nipples. Regardless of what they call that process or what they identify as, because both are irrelevant.

ClaireP20 · 22/11/2020 23:34

It is horrific...and there seems to be fuck all we can do about protecting our spaces, whilst left leaning men like Kier Starmer, Billy Bragg, Daniel bloody Radcliffe continue to call us transphobes and tell us how we feel is wrong.

Sorry OP, this makes me so angry. Xx

DidoLamenting · 22/11/2020 23:34

Surely rather than going down the 'I'm a TERF' route you would have been better just questioning why transwomen need to join a group about breastfeeding?

Absolutely. I still can't work out from the OP's posts whether the original question was about men joining or if she interpreted it to mean men joining but in either case a reasoned response would have been "why does someone who isn't breastfeeding want or need to join?" rather than that rant.

Original poster
user643899 · 22/11/2020 23:33

@june2007

It,s an online group why not allow men/? Dr Neuman is a man Arub Gupta is aman both big BF advacates.
Because it's for breastfeeding support. People who breastfeed.
OP posts:
june2007 · 22/11/2020 23:32

It,s an online group why not allow men/? Dr Neuman is a man Arub Gupta is aman both big BF advacates.

Original poster
user643899 · 22/11/2020 23:29

@DidoLamenting Thanks for that interesting announcement.
Good day.

OP posts:
DidoLamenting · 22/11/2020 23:28

[quote user643899]@DidoLamenting
What is your point?
You don't understand and?[/quote]
Yes. I don't understand your posts.

Escapeplanning · 22/11/2020 23:24

That was to Backbee

Escapeplanning · 22/11/2020 23:23

You can't be anti te** and think it's possible to exclude transwoman from ANYTHING for females. It's exclusion.
Failed.

Highfalutinlootin · 22/11/2020 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
user643899 · 22/11/2020 23:23

@DidoLamenting
What is your point?
You don't understand and?

OP posts:
Original poster
user643899 · 22/11/2020 23:23

@Quaagars

Who is currently feeding a baby? So men bottle feeding? Men feeding by their definition of chest feeding? I'm not suggesting they restrict it to specific genders. They should restrict it to one sex: females. The only sex that can breastfeed

Somebody's already pointed out that by chestfeeding, it means by trans men.
As in, biologically female.
Not sure why you're now talking about men bottle feeding, or men chestfeeding...

Again, don't want to argue with you.

The group's definition of chest feeding is different to what the general definition is.
Pp mentioned anyone feeding a baby, that includes men bottle feeding.

OP posts:
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