Just read Abigail Shrier’s Book

Aesop

I can see a quiet breakaway happening already. But.. thing is my daughter has significant social anxiety so forming new friendships is hard. In saying that, she is stronger than she thinks despite that sometimes crippling anxiety and has naturally started doing this anyway. I hope.

If it wasn’t for MN I wouldn’t have had anywhere near the insights I do have. So I am very thankful for these threads. And any advice or insights people have.

Winesalot my post was going to be that your daughter (or others in similar positions) need to consider their own needs from friendship groups and that they may need to retreat from this one whilst this ideology remains so dominant within it. I suspect if she does she might find others quietly follow. A new club could give her an ‘out’ as well as the beginnings of new friendships?

Really I can't believe that can actually be happening.

we can’t talk about it, shhhhh!

I notice we seem not to be allowed to talk about groups of girls in schools identifying as trans en mass and the harm being caused to them
Really I can't believe that can actually be happening.,

Sorry for the long thread, it was meant for the deleted thread so was still in my mind.

I notice we seem not to be allowed to talk about groups of girls in schools identifying as trans en mass and the harm being caused to them

It is very telling isn’t it. I was trying to post to the thread When it came down.

This is a good book. If you are a regular reader of this board, you will have read some of the data etc. I found this excellent to understand the degree of pressure these girls feel though. Particularly after they have been made to believe their parents are bigots and will never understand and then if they start questioning, they are threatened to be ostracized from the only support they have. I have seen this enacted on social media too.

What makes it a significant book is that I am watching the effects of this ideology play out in real time amongst my mid teen daughter’s friends. It might be great that they are experimenting with identity, but the extremes they have started to believe and try to uphold is bonkers. That 4 out of 7 in this group of all lesbians are now trans is a major alert for me. My daughter has very poor mental health at the moment and I feel very much that it is related somewhat to this.

Apparently, their entire conversations revolve around their lesbian identity and their gender identity. It is very self absorbed. They don’t discuss movies, TV shows, books unless it is about a LGBT character (so no discussion on neutral issues like GBBO then).

I don’t think my daughter even knows whether her friends have siblings. They don’t even discuss current affairs or major world events unless it stays in the LGBT parameters and then it is always pro- gender ideology.

They certainly discuss whether they have been misgendered or if they perceive someone as being homophobic. I can see my daughter starting to pull back from interacting with some of them as they are too intense for her own mental health.

As a person who make friends very rarely, it is heartbreaking. I ask if she talks to any of them about her own mental health concerns or any troubles and she doesn’t. The comment is ‘we don’t do that kind of thing’. Wtf? So they are all performance and no tangible support.

This book was really helpful to pull it all together and to make me feel that my daughter’s group is by far not the only one effected.

I notice we seem not to be allowed to talk about groups of girls in schools identifying as trans en mass and the harm being caused to them

Yes, I noticed that this morning, which is very puzzling when one would expect parental concern for their children being caught in social contagion to be well within the remit of the site

Anyway, I have been triggered to order this book now!

Thanks for the recommendation. I notice we seem not to be allowed to talk about groups of girls in schools identifying as trans en mass and the harm being caused to them

I'm listening to it on Audible - I'm finding it very interesting but also quite tough to digest. As a mother of a daughter - it's frightening.