Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

"You can be the idea of a woman"

58 replies

Random63638 · 05/11/2020 08:21

Richard O'Brien is still my hero; www.theguardian.com/stage/2020/nov/05/richard-obrien-interview-rocky-horror-trans-crack-stroke-70s?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/11/2020 10:28

Sorry, that was two thoughts in one, please delete the "non" before AGP!

TreestumpsAndTrampolines · 05/11/2020 10:28

He's an intelligent man. He knows the word feminine exists, he knows that women are losing rights because of tra.

But in all of this, he is a man, it's all an intellectual exercise to him, as much as he intellectually knows this stuff, it doesn't actually affect him.

Plus, and not wanting to be agist here, there are things that you just don't think about changing, especially when waffling to someone in an interview I'd have thought. I'd still say that we'll 'tape a video', even though we haven't done that in 20 odd years, language persists, even if there's a more correct word for it (which is of course the real evolution of language, not this facist re-writing they're forcing on us)

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/11/2020 10:27

Too many variations.... the Stonewall umbrellas has done it's job too well! Of course, you are right, Datun non AGP transwomen don't want any of that 'understanding' claptrap!

YetAnotherSpartacus · 05/11/2020 10:26

The problem is, certainly for a lot of autogynephiles (and I'm not suggesting Richard O'Brien is one), being a feminine presenting man is pointless. The whole point is to think of themselves as a woman, not feminine males

Agreed. But I got the impression that ROB was more 'gender-queer' as it were.

Datun · 05/11/2020 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/11/2020 10:04

Yes. That would have been headline worthy!

HecatesCats · 05/11/2020 10:03

@YetAnotherSpartacus

I'm thinking of MB's comment in one of her videos about the need to 'expand the bandwidth of being male'. Why not this?
Yes, wouldn't it be wonderful if he'd said something along those lines?!
YetAnotherSpartacus · 05/11/2020 09:59

I'm thinking of MB's comment in one of her videos about the need to 'expand the bandwidth of being male'. Why not this?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/11/2020 09:57

However, I don't see what is to be lauded or congratulated about anyone getting elective cosmetic surgery for any reason whatsoever. Cosmetic surgery is surgery which is not needed to maintain an otherwise healthy body. Much as I agree with your idea of cosmetic surgery, I've spent 20+ years supporting a friend through his surgeries (FtM). Whilst still 'she' she had to make some very hard decisions, knowng that once started she couldn't turn any of it back, that she would lose a lot of time, money and her long term girlfriend (who had always said she couldn't support the whole transformation).

His coming out at work was dealt with by the big boss, very matter of fact. He has a GRC. His final surgery was one of the most harrowing things I have supported anyone through - though the tales he tells of it now are all humerous!

He is now married, to my ex boss, female, never gay, and happy with his body, his life. But he knows he is female... just lives a male life.

Which is what got me pondering how that definition isn't acceptable. Is female living a masculine life? But I do that, if you go by stereotypes, and I haven't any desire to be a man!

MichelleofzeResistance · 05/11/2020 09:56

It's one of those articles that is outrageously offensive and infuriates me, and yet I can't post what I think because if I'm as rude in reply as this article has been to me, I'll be punished for it.

And there, in a nutshell, is the power imbalance that makes this so fucking offensive.

ZuttZeVootEeeVro · 05/11/2020 09:53

20 years ago, we'd have got what Richard O'Brian meant about being 30% female - we'd have known what he was trying to communicate, even if the literal meaning of the words can't make sense.

He's an intelligent man. He knows the word feminine exists, he knows that women are losing rights because of tra.

Yet he decides to announce that he is part female?

HecatesCats · 05/11/2020 09:52

I agree with Datun's point about masculine and feminine. He's not describing what it is to be female and he knows he isn't female so to then say he's 30% female is a contradiction. Part of him enjoys indulging in stereotypical trappings of femininity.

ZuttZeVootEeeVro · 05/11/2020 09:50

“I believe myself probably to be about 70% male, 30% female … I think of myself as a third sex and it makes things easier.”

He's 100% male. Shaving isn't the definition of female.

Interesting that he likes New Zealand because it hasn't a class hierarchy. But likes the hierarchy that allows men to define what female is to "whatever suits them" , doesn't he?

MedusasBadHairDay · 05/11/2020 09:48

What Treestumps said, I didn't see anything offensive in what he said. He doesn't claim to not be a man, he explicitly says you can't change sex, in that context I think the way he describes himself as a "third sex" is not meant to be taken literally.

Cailleach1 · 05/11/2020 09:46

From the article I think anybody who decides to take the huge step with a sex change deserves encouragement and a thumbs-up.

Why? Each to their own and it is obviously someone's own choice if they want to alter their appearance. However, I don't see what is to be lauded or congratulated about anyone getting elective cosmetic surgery for any reason whatsoever. Cosmetic surgery is surgery which is not needed to maintain an otherwise healthy body.

Maybe I could draw from "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" could sum up how I view cosmetic surgery. In this book, people are divided into Classicists and Romantics. The romanticists are people who tend to see only the surface appearance of an object. You can usually say a romanticist is frivolous, shallow, erratic, and irrational.

On the other hand a classicist is usually the opposite. A classicist is someone who sees the underlying form of an object, is usually straight forward, and is more fascinated by the function of an object rather than the appearance of it.

No guessing I'm bigging myself up as a Classicist.

Handy little synopsis. Don't agree with all of it.
etinfo.tripod.com/essays/id8.html

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/11/2020 09:44

That!! Thanks @TreestumpsAndTrampolines

Much better than my attempt!

TreestumpsAndTrampolines · 05/11/2020 09:42

I think the trouble is that the whole trans narrative has corrupted language so far that we then can't work with any creativity around it.

20 years ago, we'd have got what Richard O'Brian meant about being 30% female - we'd have known what he was trying to communicate, even if the literal meaning of the words can't make sense.

Now, with our words being taken from us, we double down on the literal meaning, because when we gave an inch to TRAs, they took the proverbial mile, (and then told us we weren't even allowed to mention that first inch). But with Richard O'Brian, everything I've read, and previously seen, suggests that he's trying to express an idea, rather than meaning to corrupt the words and steal them from us.

ImaginaryCat · 05/11/2020 09:40

I just read the article and came straight here to say pretty much exactly what's been said. Some of it was gender stereotyping nonsense, although he kind of recognises that it's conforming to a social construct, not actually being female.

But the biggie is the support for JKR and the fact that changing gender identity doesn't mean you change sex. Boom, right there, my thoughts on transgenderism summed up by RO'B, brilliant!

Now let's see if he gets death threats and calls to his publisher and theatres to cancel him. Let's see if the TRAs call for a boycott of Rocky Horror and burn all their French maid outfits and corsets!

Like fuck will that happen.

HecatesCats · 05/11/2020 09:34

I'd rather not shave, in fact during lockdown 1 I went full early medieval, what percentage male does that make me?

Cailleach1 · 05/11/2020 09:25

OH shaved today. Online meeting.

Just asked OH why is he shaved and thus 'presenting as a woman'. He just said "what a load of nonsense!"

If a woman shaves her legs, what is she presenting as? Or what is the shaved head O'Brien presenting as? As humans normally have body and head hair, are these shavers presenting now as other than human?

I don't think I could go any further up my bottom than this.

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 05/11/2020 09:25

Plenty of men like hairless chests, fashion, knitting, expressing emotion, (insert feminine stereotype of choice) - it doesn’t make them a different sex!

Star because this is the whole central point in a nutshell.

When did 1950s stereotypes suddenly become ‘progressive’?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/11/2020 09:24

They are the wrong words for what he appears to be describing. Yep! My grwoing defintion has those pencilled for when I get a good sentence to surround them.

It's proving harder than I thought! I can make a stereitypically RadFem one but not one that any transperson would live with. And as we, women, object to being forced to accept unwelcome labels, I am trying to avoid that.

Note I am not trying to please TRAs, just thinking of trans friends and how they might describe themselves avoiding the issues highlighted here.

Or maybe the divide is now too wide and some GC women won't/can't allow that?

Babdoc · 05/11/2020 09:21

It’s depressing that he has been brainwashed by the patriarchy into believing gender stereotypes. He isn’t 30% anything, he is 100% male and just likes shaving off body hair.
Why can’t men just accept themselves the way they are? Plenty of men like hairless chests, fashion, knitting, expressing emotion, (insert feminine stereotype of choice) - it doesn’t make them a different sex!
And it’s interesting that he spent his formative years in New Zealand, which has high levels of domestic violence and a toxic macho culture. I suspect he was reacting against that.

Datun · 05/11/2020 09:05

It would be so much better to say 30% masculine and 70% feminine, and call it something different altogether, to explain your sartorial choices. Something that doesn't involve politics, or has a sexual motivation.

He seems a very creative bloke, he should be able to grasp that.

The words men and women do not describe thinking, clothing, or behaviour. They are the wrong words for what he appears to be describing.

For him, woman describes the way he feels, for someone like Sam Smith, it describes his bloody thighs.

No.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/11/2020 09:03

I think his idea of being "30% female" is a load of woo-woo, Me too. But this set me to thinking, again, how do you describe being trans?

A deluded wo/man? Bit harsh!

Try it. A definition of the physiological, psychological and sociological realities of bening trans. I can get the first sentence done but cannot compete it without sounding equally 'woo-woo'.